[Quinton] The commentary community is getting a lot harder to be a part of than it used to be.
A long time ago, doing a video about another YouTube channel just meant playing off of a joke,
or just giving criticism over an exaggerated, chocolatey glaze.
Nowadays, people go to most videos like this expecting some sort of wrecking ball-like force--
knocking the channel's subscriptions down a few million,
and destroying that user's credibility forever.
And so, every time someone like me even considers making a video criticizing another YouTuber,
we hit a sudden brick wall, where we have to ask ourselves,
"Do they deserve the shit
that I might send their way
just by doing a video about them?"
We live in a landscape where mild criticism over stupid things can turn into overblown drama
just by the nature of people blending their creation with their own existence.
So me saying, "Oh, I think that The Key of Awesome's music is more miss than hit."
is just as potentially explosive as me saying,
"GradeAUnderA seems like a mean dude."
But then you find a guy...
...who's so repulsive, so smug,
that these worries just clear out of your mind entirely.
You find peace in the fact...
...that you can look this person in the face and say,
"Wow...
what a fucking asshole."
MattHossZone is one of the strangest channels that I've ever come across in my entire life,
and the most easy way to start discussing him
is to bring into conversation why so many people
started watching him to begin with.
Usually with channels that get popular suddenly,
you can follow sort of a wave of when this happened and why.
And that's represented in the views for the channel, video by video.
But his views jump all over the place!
From a million, to 100k, to twenty thousand, and even lower than that.
Usually his videos with the most views tend to be his Bold Guy series
where he tries to pick up various women as he tries to awkwardly flamingo his way into their lives.
Who's watching this shit?
Or rather...
...who was?
I know it's become sort of a commentary cliché to make fun of YouTubers that aren't popular
by saying that their fans are 12 years old,
and the reason that so many of us channels run by male users say this so often
is that we remember the kind of stupid stuff that we used to do when we were younger.
And more importantly, we remember what we watched and why.
When I was a teenager, I was a hormonal mess that was so caught up on that fact that I didn't have a girlfriend
that I decided to blame all of women-kind for this horrific attack on my love life.
I thought I had been "friend-zoned"
by too many heartless harpies that would only go after
all those jerks who didn't really care about them at all.
Except, y'know, they--
they probably did. I--
I just presumed that they didn't because...
...they weren't me.
The kind of person that I used to be is the exact kind of person who would eat up
most of the videos on MattHoss's channel like the cheap gruel that it truly is.
It's an escapist fantasy for the delusional boys who want to think that the girls
that they're semi-stalking are the weird ones for not immediately wanting to hop on their
tiny, tiny, little dicks.
"Girls are the stupid ones! they just don't get how hot a man with overgrown body hair can be in the sack!"
[MattHoss] Sometimes you see a girl from behind and everything looks great.
Beautiful hair, nice figure...
But you have no idea what she looks like from the front!
[Quinton] I mean what if she has got a messed up face?
Or weird nails?
Or what if she's as old as I am!
Ha ha ha!
Gross.
WOAH! SICK MOVES, BROSEPH!
So I'm aware that I probably couldn't pull off all the stuff that MattHoss does on camera,
but it really does look like shit when you put it over dumb music and pretend that it's super impressive.
There's this scene in 'Back to the Future Part II' where Marty tricks some goons by jumping a staircase
and going the opposite direction that he led them;
A good rule of thumb is that if it's less impressive than that,
don't put it on the Internet,
[Girl] Hi!
[Matt] What're you doing here?
[Girl] I'm... waiting for the bus.
What are you doing here? [awkward laugh]
[Matt] I'm looking for a cute girl.
[Quinton] This is the part of the video where most women would pull out their phones
and dial a nine... and a one,
because that's the kind of opening line that just screams
"I'm possibly a rapist."
The best part is right after this when Hoss looks straight into the camera as if to say,
"[scoffs] Women, am I right?"
Don't rope me into this, man. This is-- This is all you.
[Matt] Do you have a name?
[Girl] I have a boyfriend!
[Matt] Of course you do!
But you're getting ahead of me now.
[Quinton] No, no, that should be where you walk away, buddy.
You walked into this situation hoping to sleep with this woman, and she just told you no,
so now you get to turn your little ass around and walk out of the situation with rosy cheeks
while you consider how much of a loser you are.
You don't get to hang around and pretend that you're the victim and that she's somehow a low-class citizen
simply to justify to yourself why she didn't show an extremely high interest
in checking your testes for lumps.
[Girl] I already made a decision.
[Matt] What decision?
[Girl] To be with my boyfriend.
[Matt] But that's a decision you made in the past.
[Quinton] Do you think that's how people who cheat on their spouses get away with it in their heads?
"I know I promised her undivided attention until death do us part,
but I mean come on, man, that was like, two days ago!"
[Matt] A premature decision on your behalf...
...could lead to an unfair loss to both of us.
[Quinton] This motherfucker is really going [laughs] out of his way to try and get this woman to sleep with him.
[Matt] Come on,
Do you really want to date a person who chooses TV over philosophy?
[Quinton, in an echoey voice] What fucking philosophy?!
[Quinton, normal voice] The philosophy of always keeping two dicks around in case one runs for the hills?
How is that philosophy?
Ugh, these videos are so infuriating, you pre--,
presume that this guy is playing up his stupidity and uselessness as a joke,
considering that he was both rejected and abandoned in this video that...
...he presumably wrote!
but the more you see this mold in his series and perhaps more importantly,
the more that you see his actual style of arguing in the real world,
the more it dawns on you that this punk totally believes everything that comes out of his tiny little mouth.
Ugh, these videos are usually less than four minutes long but they feel like an eternity!
[Parkour Girl] What are you, some sort of creep?
[Mr. Burns] Yes!
[PG] and I have the right to tell you to get lost.
[Matt] Why are you getting physical?
Is it because you think I won't hit you back?
[phone beeps out '911']
[Quinton] So in the majority of these little skits, it'll start off basically
with the same tone and handling as the previous one,
but then it'll transition into some sort of PS2 sidequest thing where he has to do something like...
keep up with her, or...
prove his gymnastics skills, or...
collect all of the power orbs in one area,
you know, just jerking fantasies for children who want to imagine that they too will one day find that
magical woman, who'll agree to let them do whatever as long as they can complete some sort of...
trivial and minimalist task.
That's right, boys and girls! All you need to do to win the girl of your dreams is to have an actual time machine.
MattHoss's other show is kind of like 'Sliders', but instead of him tracking countdowns to portals opening,
he does countdowns to when he's going to jizz violently,
Apparently, this character has this disorder where if he doesn't, uh...
...release himself, every ninety minutes,
to quote the man himself...
[Matt] I get a nutsack attack.
A nutsack attack is when your testicles fill up with sperm and the sperm backs up into your bloodstream.
[Quinton] Yeah, okay. Uh, I think I'm just gonna skip the rest of this series.
I feel like twenty-five seconds of that is just about all I need for one lifetime.
You get that alongside the added bonus of appealing to very pathetic people who want to find
justification for why they're not getting laid.
This is also basically just, like, masturbation material, all right?
It should never get to the point where your video ends right before it would become a porno every single time;
In that case, it's not going to be unexpected when your content isn't very highly regarded.
This video ends with the main character buying a prostitute.
[Prostitute] I have a seven-inch lollipop and a fantastic ass pussy.
[Matt, slowed down] Ass pussy?
[Quinton] Oh shit, death's about to do us all a favor.
Oh, of course not, it's just another superiority wank off sesh
where the main character proves himself worthy of life by...
...jumping on some, uh,
some walls and shit.
I'm pretty sure the Papa Franku universe is more respectable than this.
[Ethan] You know, when you watch a porn, you endure this shit because you know it's going somewhere,
but with here, it's like, there's no--, there's no payoff.
[Hila] It's just the crappy...
[Hila] ...crappy story.
[Ethan] It's the crappy porn intro. It's like, what is the point of it?
[Quinton] Anyway, so MattHoss has grown extremely controversial recently
because he's obviously suing h3h3 for doing a reaction video about one of his parkour videos.
This may have been one of the biggest mistakes in terms of a direction for his channel,
not because he's going to lose because...
...honestly, he has a small window of winning it,
but because since he started the trial, his videos have been doing considerably worse.
I'm not talking about a Leafy-sized drop in views,
I'm talking about going from almost a million views on a lot of his videos,
to his channel barely even hitting 10k.
On one of his most recent videos, he hasn't even hit a hundred likes.
How did this channel go from getting millions of views...
...to only doing a little better than I am?
By going up against one of the most beloved content creators on this site.
The h3h3 lawsuit has shaken the foundations of YouTube and fair use,
and the scariest thing about the case, to be honest...
...is that it's one of the least defendable h3 reaction videos.
I still think that it's within fair use because people are coming to see Ethan and Hila's comments...
[Hila, laughing] What's with the mayonnaise?
[Ethan] I don't know, she said whatever I want.
Well, why are you more confused about the mayonnaise in the mouth and not the carrot in the ass?
[Quinton] ...but the reason it might be a problem in a larger scale is that...
...this will have a big precedent over fair use trials when it comes to new media,
and those trials in the past haven't gone down exactly how we would want them to,
and I think that this has had a major impact on both parties.
You'll probably notice that h3 has recently made a big deal
about making content that is more based around original ideas and minor content references
instead of the sort of original reaction videos that they used to make.
It is possible that they are doing this to better build up a sustainable image as a channel that does stand by
and respect the simplest idea of what fair use should be.
Meanwhile for Hoss, he has lost a lot of respect and attention from his once loyal collection of viewers.
One reason I think that Hoss's once dedicated fanbase hasn't stuck around
is just the fact that the man's content is designed to only be enjoyable if you agree with it.
When it came to talking about women and sex, people found his harsh hubris to be fitting and amusing,
but now that he's saying something that they disagree with,
and more importantly, now that he's personally attacking basically all of his viewers,
he's a bit harder to put up with.
The best way to kill a fanbase is to wait for them to grow up
But the second best way is to tell them that you hate them.
Do you think that--, that MattHoss is secretly running, like, one of those, uh,
'Brewster's Millions' kind of schemes?
Where he, uh...
he inherited a YouTube channel that--,
that had two hundred thousand subscribers,
and he has to get rid of all of them so he can then inherit PewDiePie's channel.
[Matt] I can't continue investing so much time and money creating them...
...when they're at risk of being stolen by parasites...
...who love to profit off of other people's work.
[Matt, reading a YouTube comment] "This is what they use in North Korean torture camps...
...to break people's spirits."
[Matt] They do use my music!
But they're very professional about it,
they always ask for permission...
...and they pay for it.
[Quinton] So MattHoss likes to hide behind this famous misconception where fair use only applies
when you ask for permission first.
This kind of sprouts indirectly from the fact that Weird Al is one of the most famous parody artists of all time,
and he always asks people for permission.
But that's actually because he wants to keep a non-hostile relationship
with all the people that he makes fun of.
I see a lot of people say that people like the Nostalgia Critic shouldn't bitch about fair use
because they, like Weird Al, should just ask the movie studios if it's fine for them to talk about their products.
And this is a special kind of stupid not even worth considering as a realistic opinion.
I wonder how Hoss is managing to afford this lawsuit that he's putting forwards.
He's killed his channel,
he's out of content to sell to his fans,
and I don't think his pizza delivery job is realistically going to make the cut.
So while Hoss single-handedly decides the future of countless fair use based content creators on YouTube,
he's moved to a new type of video as he ragequits his fanbase.
Basically it's his attempt at a sort of Buzzfeed clickbait video,
and as I said, these have been doing quite, quite badly.
And the sad part is that most of the views that he's still getting are from people coming just to shit on him.
So not only has people hating him killed ninety-nine percent of his core audience,
but most of the people who still remain are only there because they hate him!
As I said, per video, this guy often doesn't crack a hundred likes,
and when you watch these videos, i-it's hard to pretend that the dislikes are unjustified.
Here's a video about how MattHoss wants to have sex with Jill Stein.
[Matt] I mean, come on! If you're a straight male or a lesbian and you're looking for a GILF,
Jill's the one you want!
[Quinton] Here's a video where MattHoss calls you an idiot for not eating well.
[Matt] I know a lot of you don't like to read books,
and that the only time you touch paper is toilet paper,
[audio slowed down] but you can do research with your
pppppphhhhhhoooooonnnnnneeeeee.
[Quinton] Hey Matt, has anyone ever told you that you look like a puppet from the "Land of Confusion" music video?
Here's a video where MattHoss says that all of those things you like can be addictive.
Obviously.
What do--, what do you think I am? Stupid?
Here's a video where he plays random moments from his recent videos
under the guise of it being a best quotes video.
It's not even memorable or funny moments, it's just shit like Hoss saying,
"dopamine is a chemical in your brain!"
"InErTiA iS a PrOpErTy Of MaTtEr" [Bill Nye theme song slowed down plays]
This is the kind of video that gets posted when a once popular YouTuber
gives up and sells their channel to a random bidder,
What sort of egotistical loser makes a "best quotes" video?
[Matt] Lazy minds are the opposite of a freethinker.
I'm gonna ask you a series of questions.
If you answer them honestly to yourself,
you will know which one you are.
[Quinton] Okay, sounds good.
Sounds like fun, my man.
[M] Do you ever question your daily habits?
[Q] Yes, all the time.
[M] What you do, what you say, what you eat, what you wear?
[Q] Yeah, I'm constantly in a state of depression.
[M] Do you ever adopt a belief without considering all the available facts?
[Q] no.
[M] Do you know why you love or hate something?
[Q] yes.
[M] Do you ask where those reasons came from?
[Q] yes.
[M] Are you religious?
[Q] no.
[M] If you are, do you practice the religion you were given at birth?
[Q] I said 'no'.
[M] Or did you research every other religion on this planet and choose the one you thought was best?
[Q] Yeah I know we're supposed to do that but who has the fuckin' time?
[M] Do you latch onto a political or social cause because you're truly informed about it?
[Q] yes.
[M] Or because you want to belong to a group?
[Q] no.
[M] When you experience a work of art that challenges you emotionally, like a movie or a painting,
[Q] uh-huh...
[M] do you think about it on your own for a while,
[Q] Yeah...
[M] and then discuss it with a friend you know and trust?
[Q] Yeah, that's my job.
[M] Or do you quickly search for reviews and reactions online to help you form an opinion?
[Q] Wait a minute...
[M] Have you ever imagined what it's like to experience the world from someone else's perspective?
Especially someone whom you don't agree with?
[Q] what?
[M] Have you ever considered that you've been socially conditioned,
[quiet and echoey] since childbirth, to believe and behave a certain way?
By your parents?
Your teachers?
Your peers?
The media?
Have you ever considered that you're living out a script written for you by others?
[Q] No, that's stupid.
[M] Notice I've only asked you questions and not given any answers.
If I were to try and give you answers here, it would defeat the whole purpose.
[Quinton] Yeah, but this equivalent to selective polling, you just told me questions, and then,
you know, you expected me to find obvious answers to those questions.
Y-you still presented them with a narrative that you wanted me to find on my own.
That's the opposite of what freethinking is.
MattHoss has some resemblance of an intellect,
but he's not really a freethinker like he says he is.
Personally, it's hard to even take that claim seriously.
From anyone, really, but--but--but mainly from him.
It seems to me that he is treating the idea of being a freethinker...
...as its own ideology, that he needs to sell to people,
much like any other major religion.
He specifically seems to think that having an open mind means agreeing with him on all points and every issue,
and this ultimate defiance of presenting opinions as something that can be proven as a fact...
...seems to be why his content his so insufferable.
And honestly, that personality and mentality is probably what also led him
to simply trying to ignore the existence of fair use itself,
and what causes him to continue down this path of self-destruction on multiple levels
despite the fact that all logical points of view would tell him that it was a bad idea.
I hope that he loses his case and I hope that this defeat
causes him to passive-aggressively quit his entire channel instead of just his cringey skits.
Go fuck yourself.