"Alright..."
"And action!"
Being an artist myself
It comes as no surprise that
Some of my favourite films happen to be about making art
Since these movies are all made by artists
Their representations are often quite accurate
"Two word review, just says..."
"Sh*t sandwich"
And as an audience member
Knowing the subject matter intimately
Helps make these films even more enjoyable
Studio Ghibli's underrated gem
Whisper of the Heart
Is no exception
A slice of life film about the life of a young teen writer
It is one of the most comfortable film Ghibli has ever made
But my experience with the film
Is somewhat different
I happened to watch this film on TV
When I was still a pre-teen
Before I discovered my passion for art and writing
It was such a great viewing experience
I still vividly remember the details
When I returned to this film many years later as an artist in training
My understanding of the film had changed
And I found myself relate to this film
In a much more emotional way
So in this video
We won't be doing the usual analysis and cultural study
I just want to share my personal experience
Of being an artist
And how the film parallels the journey of an artist
Let me show you
What I see
When I watch Whisper of the Heart
Before we begin
I strongly recommend giving this film a watch
There will be heavy spoilers in this essay
And as with almost all Ghibli films
It is worth it to jump into it with no set expectations
Whisper of the Heart is a simple girl meets boy story
Our protagonist, Shizuku, is a middle school student
With a fondness for fiction books
And a natural talent for writing poetries and lyrics
"Country road..."
"Leading far away..."
One day, following a cat
She stumbles upon an antique shop
Where she meets Tim from the YouTube Channel Grand Illusions
And his grandson, Seiji
Young Seiji has a dream of becoming a violin maker
And is about to head to Italy for two months to study the craft
Enamored by him and his aspiration
Shizuku decides to find her own purpose in life as well
She decides to spend the two month Seiji is away
Writing a novel of her own
"He's going to find out if he has talent"
"Well, so will I"
"I'll write a story!"
In film, for dramatic effect
The featured artist tends to exhibit this unrelenting passion
A romanticized obsession about a certain dream
Becoming a great filmmaker, for example
That is a notion that
I don't find particularly...
Healthy
I much prefer the story of Vincent van Gogh
As told through the film
Lust for Life
Where van Gogh does painting
Because that's just something he does
All the working artists I know of
Are similar
It is much less about grand passion and dreams
And more so "It's just something I do"
It would be nice if we make it big one day
But even when it costs us so much time and money
We keep doing it
Because...
It is part of our identity
We see this in Shizuku, too
She doesn't have this grand dream of becoming a great writer
"There's one I want to write"
"If he can do it, so can I"
It is as simple as something she decides one day
That she wants to give it a shot
The starting motivation can be as simple
As wanting to better yourself for the one you love
Or in my case
Having a great teacher who encouraged me
Miss Luo, if you are listening
Thanks
There is rarely a grand destiny call
It's often just a plain decision
Put it another way
An attempt to be an artist
Is less about pursuing a dream
And more so about proving you are
Who you think you are
Shizuku didn't choose to be a writer
Because she has a passion for it
"You've got a talent for poetry"
"You have talent"
People tell her she has talent for it
Like a gem hidden inside a stone
And she wants to go out and prove to herself
That she can do it
"I'm scared. What if there isn't a beautiful crystal in me"
"But I want to write. And you'll be the first one to see it"
And if you are still confused
Just know that
Even when the world ends
Even when an artist is the last person on Earth
When no one else is there to give their work recognition
The artist will still be crafting art
It's just something we do
Back to the film
Shizuku decides to write a fantasy story
Where she needs to find a magical gemstone
Under time pressure
She struggles to find it
And all she got was...
A dead baby bird
What I find especially good about Whisper of the Heart
Is its depiction of the difficulty in being an artist
"It's not easy when you walk your own road"
"You've only got yourself to blame"
For example, self-doubt
You can make a drinking game out of this
Take a shot every time
Shizuku says her work is not good
"That's not bad."
"Yes it is"
"It's trite"
Self-doubt comes with the territory
Knowing that art is something innate
Realizing we don't have the talent we thought we have
Is to realize we are not the person we thought we are
It is scary
Shizuku's story is a clear metaphor for discovering her own talent
The beautiful crystal she talked about
And her fear that
She has none in her
It's a constant vicious cycle
Your art will never be good enough for you
After all
If they are
You stopped improving
But this obsession with talent is a trap
A topic that Whisper of the Heart addresses
A thing that I missed as a casual audience
But resonated with me after I went to film school
"There's lots as good as me"
Talent can only bring you to page 5
"Say what you really think!"
"I couldn't write what I wanted"
"The last half doesn't make sense"
"I know that"
The rest
Is all hard work
Years of it
Upon deciding to write her book
Her reading list expands from only fiction
To Non-fiction and documents
She is almost always constantly working
Scene after scene
Every word on the page is grinded into shape
It is something that
Non-artists don't realized
"You were up until 4 again?!"
Or, at least, don't pay attention to
No one is born naturally talented
Not in ways our society perceives
Even prodigies need a lot of practice
It's why we have school for art
The film explains it better than I ever could
"The rough stone is inside you. You have to find it and then polish it"
"It takes time and effort"
It takes time and effort
When this journey begins
We think we are a talented artist
But as we journey forth
We will inevitably realize
We have a long way to go
"Anyone can do that"
"I've got a long way to go"
The only way to be who we want to be
Is to put in the work
And become who we want to be
Depression is almost inevitable
In the creation of art
There is almost no way
Your art turns out better than you can hope
Yet despite endless self-doubt
We crave for feedback and resolution
Even if we expect the worst
Even if we know many out there will judge us harshly
Trust me, you can't judge me harsher than I do
At the end
Shizuku hands her finished novel to Tim
Her first reader
There is not a shred of excitement on her face
Finishing an art piece
Is like making a call into the void
What awaits you is often not excitement
But anxiety
The climax of the film is just a series of shots
No music
Instead of the world feeling alive
Like the opening scene
Where people moving about
Now
The world sits still
Holding its breath
The only things moving are machines
Time passing slowly, quietly
Awaiting for an answer
For most people
This climax is calm and mellow
But for an artist
It is suffocating
When the answer comes
The self-doubt continues
"Thank you. It's very good"
"It's not. It's not!"
And when the dust settles
When reality sinks in
When you can finally cry
It is the most cathartic feeling
We have journeyed far
To discover our true self
Usually realizing that
We don't have nearly as much talent as we thought we have
The road seems endless
Because it really is
You will never be better than you want to be
But when you are rested
But when you are ready to do it all over
Next time, looking back
You'll realize
How far you've come
At this point in the video
The essay part is over
But I do have something related I want to talk about
Specifically, director Yoshifumi Kondo
A hardworking artist himself
Right after finishing this film
He immediately moved on to work on Princess Mononoke
A decision that Hayao Miyazaki would regret immensely
Not long after the release of Princess Mononoke
Yoshifumi Kondo passed away from an aneurysm
Said to have brought on by overwork
He was just 47 years old at the time
It is commonly believed that his death is the main reason
For Miyazaki's first retirement
Considering that Kondo was supposed to be
Miyazaki's successor
I can see why
For this reason
I don't want to glorify the what has happened
It is an absolute preventable tragedy
The animation industry in Japan has been
And still is notoriously labor intensive
A problem that the people of Japan is currently trying to solve
But a part of me does understand
I took a history of animation course in film school
During a Studio Ghibli focused class
Our professor said
"Miyazaki said he is retired"
"We'll see about that"
Well, that sure didn't take long
We know, because that's who we are
Artists
People who know we shouldn't
And don't really want to overwork
But given the opportunity
We WILL work ourselves to death
If no one is there to stop us
I find artists don't often talk about their creative process openly
Especially not among our peers
Even artists are no immune
To wanting to preserve the mystic of appearing talented
But, to all the artists out there
If you are listening
I got you
I know that feeling
The sudden drive to create something
The self-doubt
The anxiety
The depression
The compulsion
And the catharsis you feel when the work is done
But, please, remember to take breaks
There really is no reason for Shizuku to self-impose
Her two month deadline
Should you feel tired
Don't be afraid to stop
Miyazaki takes 6 month breaks between projects
You aren't procrastinating
You are just tired
When you are well rested
When an idea comes to you
When your heart whispers to you once more
Journey on
Safely