♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
MY NEXT GUEST IS A FANTASTIC STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND REGULAR
PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME."
PLEASE WELCOME, PAULA POUNDSTONE!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
COME ON UP.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> HEY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: WELL, AS I SAID-- >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I'VE BEEN A FAN-- I'VE BEEN A FAN FOREVER.
>> WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S NICE TO HEAR.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I SAW YOU ON DAVE
OVER THE YEARS.
>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, EITHER.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ALSO BEEN ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME,"
THE GREAT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: PUBLIC RADIO SHOW WHICH I LISTEN TO EVERY WEEK,
NEVER MISS IT.
YOU'VE BEEN OVER 200 TIMES, I THINK.
>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE BEEN ON THE
SHOW.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T?
>> NO, I DON'T.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A RESEARCH DEPARTMENT AND IT SAYS 201
TIMES.
THAT'S OVER 200.
>> WHAT I DO KNOW, THERE'S A LOVELY MAN NAMED LYNN FOM, WHO
KEEPS THE STATS.
HE'S JUST A GUY.
HE'S NOT HIRED BY THE SHOW.
HE JUST-- HE'S A GUY ON TWITTER, AND HE KEEPS THE STATS.
AND I BELIEVE I'M CORRECT IN SAYING THEY HOLD THE RECORD FOR
LOSSES ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME."
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU'RE THE LEAST-INFORMED PANELIST ON "WAIT WAIT... DON'T
TELL ME."
>> HERE'S THE THING.
IT WOULD BE A GREAT JOB IF THE OTHERS DIDN'T CHEAT, BUT THEY DO
CHEAT.
ROX 18 ROBERTS USUALLY WINS BUT HER ANSWERS ARE AFGHANISTAN
OTHER AFGHANISTAN, AND LEMURS DOWN HIS PANTS.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU PREP?
TO BE JUST UNINFORMED ENOUGH TO LOSE, HOW DO YOU PREP?
>> IT'S NOT EASY.
I HAVE TO REMOVE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I GO IN WITH.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I DO THAT BY READING-- I'M
ACTUALLY EMBARRASSED TO SAY WHAT I READ EYE READ THE "NEW YORK
POST" WHICH NORMALLY -- >> Stephen: THAT WILL TAKE IT
RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN.
>> I'M TELLING YOU, AS SOON AS I CAN GET IT INTO THE RECYCLE, I
DO.
THE REASON I USE IT IS BECAUSE I CAN CARRY IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND
IT OPENS OUT LIKE THIS.
AND I CAN CONTROL IT.
LIKE, I'VE RECENTLY STARTED READING "THE NEW YORK TIMES,"
AND IT'S JUST TOO BIG FOR ME!
I OPEN IT ON THE AIRPLANE AND IT'S LIKE AN "I LOVE LUCY"
THING.
IT GOES INTO THE AISLES.
IT BLOCKS IT'S PILOT COMES ON AND SAYS, "PUT THAT NEWSPAPER
AWAY."
IT JUST -- >> Stephen: YOU GET, LIKE, AN
iPAD.
YOU CAN READ IT ON YOUR PHONE NOW OR LIKE AN iPAD--
>> DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!
>> Stephen: WELL, OKAY.
LET'S TALK ABOUT A GOOD PROJECT YOU HAVE HERE.
IT'S CALLED "THE TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH
FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS."
>> CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
JUST BEFORE YOU DID THAT, THERE WAS, LIKE, A PIANO CHORD.
WAS THAT SOME SORT OF RIEWSKY SIGNAL YOU'RE GIVING YOURSELF
THERE?
WHAT IS THAT?
>> Stephen: JON, WHY DID YOU PLAY THAT PIANO CHORD?
>> Jon: I FELT LIKE IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> JON, YOU COME FROM JAZZ,
DON'T YOU?
>> Jon: YES.
>> YEAH.
THAT'S THING WITH THE JAZZ MUSICIAN.
THEY'LL JUST FEEL IT AND DO IT.
DOESN'T MATTER WHEN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
>> THEY'LL JUST PICK UP A THING AND BLOW INTO IT.
( LAUGHTER ) WEREN'T YOU BLOWING INTO, LIKE,
A KEYBOARD THING BEFORE?
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, IT'S LEAK A HARMONICA KEYBOARD THING.
>> OH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BLOW!
I JUST PICTURED YOUR MOM GOING, "PUT THAT DOWN!
THAT'S A KEYBOARD!" ( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: HE'S ALLOWED TO.
>> YOU PROBABLY HYPERVENTILATED BLOWING IN IT TO THE PIANO WHEN
YOU WERE A KID.
STOP BLOWING-- >> Jon: IT DON'T HAVE A HOLE
THEY CAN GET TO, TO BLOW INTO IT.
OTHERWISE, I'D DO THAT, TOO.
>> YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY.
YOU COULD HAVE DRILLED ONE.
THAT'S WHAT KIDS DO.
"MOM I DRILLED A HOLE IN THE PIANO SO I COULD BLOW IT!"
SORRY.
>> Stephen: GETTING BACK TO THE BOOK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
ANYTHING ULTIMATE TO SAY-- >> I DO, I DO.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR UNSCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR
HAPPINESS AND WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO ONE?
>> WELL, BECAUSE FOR SCIENCE, FOR MANKIND.
EVERY CHAPTER IN MY BOOK IS A DIFFERENT EXPERIMENT DOING
SOMETHING THAT I OR OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY.
AND EACH CHAPTER IS WRITTEN AS A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT.
THERE'S THE HYPOTHESIS AND THE CONDITIOCONDITIONS AND VARIABLES
ON AND ON.
BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME-- HOPEFULLY THE FUNNIEST FIELD
NOTES EVER RIN BECAUSE IT'S NUMBER ONE JOB IS TO BE FUNNY.
BUT THE QUESTION FOR ME WASN'T WEATHER DOING SOMETHING WOULD BE
ENJOYABLE, BUT RATHER WHAT COULD I DO THAT WOULD GIVE ME A
LASTING UMBRELLA, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE INEVITABLE RAINS OF
ONE'S REGULAR LIFE.
SO THE ANALYSIS SECTION OF EVERY CHAPTER IS THE STORY OF ME AND
MY REGULAR LIFE-- RAISING MY KIDS IN A HOUSE FULL OF ANIMALS
AND BEING A STAND-UP COMIC FOR A LIVING-- WHICH I JUST FOUND OUT
IS ONE OF THE LOW POINTS OF SHOW BIZ.
>> Stephen: COMEDY IS JUST NOT RESPECTED.
>> IT CAME TO ME IN THE DRESSING ROOM.
I WAS ALL EXCITED ABOUT MY JOB, AND THEN I FOUND OUT, BOTTOM OF
THE BARREL!
( LAUGHTER ) SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH THE YOGURT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT TO GO, UNFORTUNATELY.
WE HAVE TO DO THE THING.
>> WE HAVE TO GO-- USUALLY WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO GO DIDN'T
DOESN'T HE PLAY?
DOESN'T HE BLOW INTO A BANJO OR SOMETHING WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO
NCHTD HE ONLY PLAYS WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT.
>> THAT'S THE WEIRDEST-- YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN HE'S GOING TO DO
A CHORD.
>> Stephen: NO, AND I LOVE IT.
IT ALWAYS FITS IN MY OPINION.
>> Jon: THAT'S WHY I GET PAID.
>> THAT'S WHY HE GETS PAID.
HE GETS PAID BY THE NOTES SO HE JUST KEEPS SLIPPING IN NOTES.
>> Stephen: "THE TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC STUDY OF THE SEARCH
FOR HUMAN HAPPINESS" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
PAULA POUNDSTONE, EVERYBODY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU, PAULA.