Hi guys, I'm London Hughes
and I want us to get to know each other a little bit better.
I'm gonna do my best to answer
Netflix's Highly Invasive Interview.
Wait wait, why am I doing this again?
Yes, I have peed in the shower.
It's my shower, I bought it, I can pee in it.
I never been peed on in the shower,
that's a whole different thing.
Yes, I would like to have it.
Yes, I've had it in the past
but considering we're on lockdown
and I'm dickless in a global pandemic,
no, I haven't had the sex. I want to though.
I am 31 years old,
I know I don't look it but I am.
This boob is bigger.
Yeah, it's weightier, there's depth to it.
This one's lighter.
Yes, I'm wearing underwear,
I'm also wearing Spanx
because beauty is pain and pain is beauty.
I have never eaten ass.
I've had a guy slip a tongue up there before,
I go, "Ooh, don't do that."
You don't know where I've been.
What's my number?
Is that my sex number
or my phone number
'cause either way
it's a thousand so...
I have never smoked weed
because I am a good girl,
good God-fearing Christian child.
Weed? Ooh, not me.
I never have smoked the devil's marijuana ever.
My boogers taste good actually.
There was a time when
I wasn't eating right
and they probably tasted salty
but right now they're clear and healthy and COVID free.
I get mistaken for
the queen, Kelly Rowland.
I also get Sanaa Lathan and I also get Jay-Z
so you do with that what you will.
The last time I cried
was watching "Dash & Lily" on Netflix
because I bloody love a Christmas romantic comedy
and it was set in New York and I was just, I love it
and I love Christmas in New York.
It does something to me, I was a hot mess of tears.
There are so many movies
that I say
that I've seen when I haven't.
I say that I've seen all of the Harry Potter movies
but I've just watched the first one seven times.
You know what?
My farts,
they don't smell that bad.
Like I've smelled some serious problematic ones,
mine aren't that problematic.
They're more like the build-up is worse than the execution.
Does that make sense?
There's a whole lot going on but then it's airy.
It smells like success.
Yes, I have my own Netflix login
and I provide Netflix
for my whole family,
I put the food on the table.
There's me, my mom, my dad, my exes.
I am the plug.
I am the connector.
I'm the boss bitch.
The top three most insane
contacts in my phone,
I would say number one,
Kevin Hart.
Number two, I would say, "Dude I Slept With 1."
I would say that's quite insane
and the final one, Nathaniel from Hinge.
Do you know what,
I've actually upped my poops
because before I wasn't that regular
and I didn't like it
but now I poop like every other day
and I think that's apparently healthy.
I wish I was pooping once a day. How you lot do it?
Those people that poop once a day, let me know.
I wanna join you. Right now, it's every other day.
Okay wow,
that wasn't as painful as I thought it would be,
I did pretty well.
Clearly, Netflix needs to know what my farts smell like.
Anyway, my special, "To Catch a D*ck"
is streaming on Netflix.
Now go watch it.
Stop watching me, go watch it.
Go. Go, go, go, go, go.