We open on Wormsy outside King's Landing
Bronn and Jaime discuss the meaning of life without a cock
The Dothraki join the party
Jon-o says: "Who the fuck wants to live in such a crowded city?"
Tyrion's like: "The night life is bloody great"
Knockity knock, yep the dead wanker is alive
The staff of Targaryen Industries head to their big meeting with Cersei
Tyrion and Pod run into each other
The Hound and Brienne talk about Arya, and how they've raised such a level-headed kid
Bronn then admits he's missed Tyrion
This is heart-warming
So far, it's fucking happy days
Ah shit
Not anymore
Awkward glare 1
Awkward glare 2
Awkward glare 3
The Hound says g'day to his brother
Gregor looks happy to see him I reckon
Dany's entrance is bigger than Lady Gaga's at the Super Bowl
Jon and Tyrion commence their PowerPoint presentation discussing the army of the Dead
Sandor helps out as an assistant
The dead wanker gets all up in Cersei's grill
And then the Hound chops him in half
He's like: "Ahh, outch!"
"That wasn't even fair, ahhh!"
Qyburn studies for the test
Davos lights a Bunsen burner, and Jon-o starts barbecue-ing the sample
He also shows off the power of dragonglass
Euron chucks a Cartman by saying "Screw you guys, I'm going home"
After a bit of back-and-forth, the meeting almost ends in a truce
But unfortunately, Cersei spits the dummy, and ends up doing a walk out
Brienne gives Jaime a spray for also doing a walkout
Tyrion and his massive balls decide to go talk to Cersei alone
He's like: "I did kill our father, but he was being a dick"
"He was trying to do a poo"
"He WAS TRYING TO DO A POO"
Yeah, they have a lot of issues to get through
Jon-o continues to have a strong interest in archaeology
He also continues to have a strong interest in Daenerys
She says: "I can't do babies"
"Mmmh, that's fake news"
"Infowars.com mate"
"All the other outlets are the fake ones"
Cersei has decided to come back
She says she'll help fight the army of the Dead for free
No lock-in contracts or agreements, out of the goodness of her heart
Meanwhile, at Littlefinger experimental brainwashing camp
Sansa has graduated to phase 10: believing Arya will destroy her
Program complete
Dany has suddenly ended up with too many employees
So she only listens to one of them
Theon is fucking sick of this company
It's becoming an incestuous environment
He has Jon-o if he can take some long-service leave to go save his sister
Jon says: "We do what we want at Targaryen Industries"
"You don't have to ask, just go for it, mate"
It's like working for a trendy tech start-up
All of Ironborn hate Theon's guts
So he beats the shit out of this guy
And now all of the Ironborn like Theon
Arya gets called in to see Sansa
She's like: "You're on trial for murder and treason"
"How do you wish to plead, ..."
"... Lord Baelish?"
O-OHHHH!
And he shits himself!
Justified smugness
He desperately tried to be his own lawyer
But Bran-o is like CCTV
He's fucking captured everything
Yeah nah, game over for Littlefinger
Cersei reveals that Euron didn't chuck a Cartman
He's just going to pick twenty thousand men from the Golden Company
Who will kill Dany and her army
Jaime's like: "I really wanted to fight dead wankers"
"Nah, that's not the plan, mate"
Justified disappointment
He does a walkout
Bron-o and Sambo figure out that Jon's real name is Aegon Targaryen
I guess Bran didn't realise this was an hidden file
Or maybe he accidentally put it in the trash
Dunno
Right at this moment, Jon and Dany are having a rout
YEAH HE HE!
I mean, gross
That's fucked
Finally, the Night King takes his fancy new dragon for a spin
Undead Viserion yells:
"POPSICLEEEEE
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"EEEEEEEEEES"
He absolutely decimates the wall until it comes crashing down
The army of the Dead continues its big fuck-off slow march into the South
*"Creep" - Postmodern Jukebox ft. Haley Reinhart*
Well, there you have it! Season 7 is done
I thought this final episode was a belta
My favourite scene was Littlefinger getting his come-up
And I'm definitely happy that Arya and Sansa were not serious with all their bickering
They outmaneuvered a very slippery man
It was sensational acting by Aidan Gillen
I love the idea of a behind-the-curtain man
a puppeteer
getting called out and turning into a weasel, essentially
Poisoning Jon Arryn before Season one episode one
and blaming it on the Lannisters has made him responsible for so much blood shed
This justice was a long time coming
It's nice to have it wrapped up
He's been a fucking fantastic character
I like the balcony scene with Arya and Sansa after killing him as well
Their characters are in a good place, they're in a good place, no one panic
Good teamwork by the young Starks overall
I feel like this season, you've really had to think about where scenes have ended and cut out
What has been left that's unspoken and offscreen, has been as important as what is said onscreen?
I reckon these three might have kept talking about Littlefinger after this scene ended back in episode four
Same way I'm wondering what Cersei and Tyrion kept talking about after the pregnancy conversation started in this episode
Has Tyrion promised something?
Did Cersei just 100% fool Tyrion like she did with Jaime?
What happened here?
I don't know!
But it smells fishy
It was a great scene! It's hard to beat the tension of some good ol' Lannister family drama
I like that Jaime has left King's Landing
I'm excited to see where his character goes from here
I love all these reunions at the beginning
You realise there's lots of characters you like and still care about
Nice work teasing us with Cleganebowl as well
Fuck yes to giving Alfie Allen a fair chunk of the time code
He's such a good actor
And this would be a difficult character to play
He has a trifecta when it comes to his identity crisis
Is he Reek?
Is he a Greyjoy?
Is he a Stark?
He's a broken man!
I thought he was gonna attack Jon
Then I thought he's gonna commit suicide
There's so much tension, and how mentally fragile he is
It's a great performance
And uh, what else?
Umh?
Yeah, what else happened in this-
in this uh, episode?
Oh yeah!
How about that incest?
Wow!
Next level shit
I honestly thought fans were projecting their own sick twisted thoughts onto Jon and Dany, and the way the actors were playing it
I could never see the sexual advances or energy in the air or in the performances
Fucking story of my life, I guess
But yeah, this was all information we knew
Besides the name, Aegon
That was fun
But it's great to hear the characters discussing it
I don't know how Bran-o hadn't told everyone
He's not a gossiper, I suppose
He doesn't gossip
Fuck yes to the Night King riding a dragon
Hopefully Beric and Tormund made it to the elevator
This was a great ending, having the wall come down
You wouldn't want to end it any other way, really
The episode is called "The Dragon and the Wolf"
And I reckon it's had all the classic GoT themes swirling around in a blender
Family
Loyalty
Justice
Honour
I feel like I've banged on
A lot about all those classic themes previously
And that's actually a good thing
The themes should be recurring
No one likes a half-baked exploration of such juicy themes
The setup to this story in season one was also good
It still has a huge impact on what happens now
Especially the character of Ned
All the characters are exploring and reaffirming their identities
Their loyalties
Their honour
To tell the truth
To lie
And old Eddard gets talk about quite a lot in this episode
The characters all carry the themes while death looms over their entire world
Overall, I've enjoyed season 7 a lot
I'm still having a good time watching this TV show
Oi, to wrap up season 7 and to go out with a bang
I've got a couple of shirt that I'm selling
This is a great way to support my channel
AND you get to wear a fucking great shirt around town
First up, we have "Barbecuueee" with a dragon on it there
As we know, "barbecue" is the Australian translation for "Dracarys"
On the flip side, we have "Popsiclesss"
And this relates to Undead Viserion
The URL to get the Barbecuueee one is "teespring.com/ozzybbq"
And if you wanna be on the side of death and get "Popsiclesss"
You can go "teespring.com/ozzypop"
I've put the URLs in the post description below
So, just look at the post description, and go click the shit out of 'em
Cheers everyone, and have fun in the off-season
Catch ya later!
Oh, hey, yeah nah, it's me again
I have also made a Behind-the-Scenes video on the making of this video
So, if you're interested in that shit
The link is in the post description below as well
Or you can click on the picture that's coming up now
See ya!
[Outro Music]