- There's a unicorn on my pocket.
What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman.
The other day I was talking to my friend about dating,
and she's all like, "My parents love my boyfriend.
Did your parents ever get really
close to any of your boyfriends?"
And I'm just like, "Hoe, you crazy?"
And then I had to explain to her
that my Indian parents simply do not
understand the concept of dating.
This is a real thing, I am not making this up.
My parents had an arranged marriage,
which means that they never dated.
So in their eyes, the process
of dating is absolutely unnecessary.
Even though they don't expect me
to get an arranged marriage, they still don't understand
the necessity of getting to know someone.
AKA, all Indian kids know that you can never, ever
introduce your parents to someone you're dating,
unless you trying to marry that person.
Ain't no room for error up in here,
it's a calculated measurement.
But yo, this one time, my mom got bright,
and she asked me about a boy.
(seatbelt clicks)
- So I have feeling something going on
between you and that boy.
- My mom is smart eh, like "Yo let me get Lilly
in the car where she can't escape
and then bust out these accusations."
When parents really wanna whoop you,
they'll bring up stuff in the car.
Heaven forbid my parents ever get a self-driving car.
They could beat me with both hands
and still get us home safe enough to ground me.
But yo I still had options.
- [Lilly Voiceover] Okay, just tell the truth.
Actually no, are you dumb?
Lie about it!
Or, or, could pretend to have a heart attack.
That could work.
No stop, you're not a kid anymore.
Handle it like an adult.
(ding)
- Well actually
(groans)
I mean
(groans)
I think I'm having a heart attack, mom!
(screams in pain)
(heart monitor beeping)
(sighs)
Am I dead?
- Depends.
Are you dating that boy?
(heart monitor beeps faster)
So I had no choice, I had to tell her the truth,
like "Yes mom, I'm in my mid-twenties
and I'm dating someone, sue me,"
and literally her next sentence was
- So d'you talk about marriage, huh?
When we meeting parents?
- Mom, it's been two months
even I haven't met his parents.
- Huh?
In two months I meet your daddy,
get married and get pregnant with your sister, okay?
- Yeah well, I'm still getting to know him.
- What you mean, getting to know him?
What did you have to know, huh?
Do you like him or do you not like him?
- I'm still figuring it out.
- See, that's your bloody problem, okay?
Too much bloody freedom.
- The only compatibility test my parents ever had
was, This is girl, this is boy,
parents agree, okay done!
So me trying to explain that I need to get to know a boy
and see if he's good-hearted and respectful
and makes me laugh and brings out the best in me
is absolute and utter trash to my parents.
Not to mention that dating someone
without the promise of marriage
brings shame to your entire family, duh are you dumb?
By who, you ask?
Uh, every person that doesn't matter.
The neighbors okay, my sixth cousin,
the family dentist, because apparently,
everyone's got a chart at home where they monitor
peoples' behavior and they're like,
Oh, dating without being engaged, that's right,
wore a mini skirt out past 11 pm, oh.
- If you not going to get engaged,
what people are going to say, huh?
- That I'm a smart, independent woman
who makes logical choices?
- Don't be dumb, okay?
I don't want you running around with every boy.
- One, literally one boy.
- Every boy you running with, okay?
You bloody Usain Bolt.
- And once my parents found out I had a boyfriend,
they hopped, skipped and jumped ahead of themselves.
Yeah I'm on my third date with my boyfriend
and they're at the astrologer's just like
- So she is a Libra and he is Gemini.
Can you tell me most auspicious date for marriage?
- September
third.
- And this went on for a while, until we broke up.
Which, by the way, that's another thing
Indian parents do not understand.
- Let me get this straight.
First you date him and then you break up?
What bloody sense this make, huh?
- If you going to break up with him,
why'd you bloody date him, huh?
- Okay obviously we didn't plan to break up.
We just both agreed we're not compatible.
- Compatible?
This is your bloody daughter, okay?
This is what happen when kids have Google
and internet, they running wild!
- Nobody's perfect, okay?
If you going to break up with everybody
- One person.
- Then you never going to get married!
- You know, kids these days they want a Disney movie,
okay, a knight in shining armor.
That's not going to happen, you going to get a Bobby
in a Selleck shirt and dress up pant doing peoples' taxes.
This is real life.
- I always laugh when I see that inspirational quote
that's like, Reach for the stars!
Because I know an Indian parent never wrote that
and if they did, it would be something like,
It's okay to settle.
The worst part about my parents finding out
about my ex-boyfriend was that any future boyfriend
I have will never be taken seriously.
So there's a boy.
- Again?
- A different boy.
- How different, huh?
You still getting to know him?
- Well actually, we're getting pretty serious.
- You say that last time, then you break up.
- Okay well this is different!
- I think you like playing games with my heart.
- Mom this is not about you.
- Oi, marriage between two families, okay,
not just husband and wife.
- We're not getting married!
- Anyways, what was this video called again?
Why do kids lie, no?
Oh, my bad, what?
Just kidding, I'm just saying though.
If you weren't the crazy, maybe your kids
wouldn't do the lying.
- Oh, Lilly telling kids to lie.
(pen clicks)
Oi, call the dentist!
Tell him what we find out.
- Yo, can you relate to this video?
Comment below and let me know,
how do your parents react when you're dating someone?
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if you're here or not, so be here.
One love, Superwoman.
That is a wrap and zoop!