But don't make things harder for yourself
don't make matters worse by having a negative mindset where basically it's hopeless because
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and the results you'll get will be based on the fundamental beliefs that you have
Hey Badasses, welcome back to the Badass Careers Youtube channel
Which is all about helping you to find your purpose to brand yourself and to land your dream job
Today's video is all about a word on rejection.
Now rejection is one of the most
Confronting and grueling and exhausting parts
of the job hunt process. You can be the most
Talented person in the world the hungriest the most passionate and if you're doing things right, and yes I said if you're doing things right
You will face rejection and I will get into that a little bit later in the video and while nothing can take away that initial
pain
Of that rejection and that feeling like you've really put your heart into something your heart and soul into an application
and if only they knew
How badly you wanted it
And if only they'd given you a chance to meet them in person
Then you could convince them and tell them how great you'd be in the job
And I get that i've been there and I have clients who've been there and I get how heavy that feels
there are ways that you can prepare for rejection and you can deal with rejection so that it doesn't
Compromise the rest of your job search because dealing with rejection isn't about not feeling like crap that still happens
But it's about not letting that overpower you not letting that slow you down
not putting you into a spiral of
Procrastination or having you feeling like you should just give up
It's about priming your mindset so that you can bounce back from the rejection as quickly as possible
So, yes, you feel it
You let it sit and you process it and then you can bounce back and get on with the show, basically
And I just want to let you know that you're not an overly
Sensitive emotional being hey, maybe you are and that's actually a really positive thing. But it's not you that takes rejection. Really really personally
It's actually
ingrained into us and built in us
to really feel
Negativity and rejection because our brain is hardwired for our survival and wants to keep us safe and what this means
Is that the brain has a very very strong?
negativity bias
So positive things are nice and they're wonderful and they're all that stuff. But did they keep us alive though?
And so it wants to keep us safe right from from physical threat and from psychological threat as well
And so this is interesting information for the brain because this hurts so the brain's like let's not do this again because it could compromise
our physical or emotional
Psychological safety, so you're literally in a battle against your brain
To say hey, yeah, it hurts
but
Let's flip the script keep moving and use this as fuel to actually do even better and go even
Harder in the job search and just a disclaimer before I do jump into these tips on how to best deal with rejection
Is that rejection is part of a job change process. You're incredible. You're amazing you're talented
You're a high achiever and you will be rejected and if you're not being rejected, I would challenge you that you're not getting
Out of your comfort zone enough because yeah
It would be super easy to play really small right and just go for roles that you're 130%
Certain that you could do and then they say yes, and you know, at least you're not you haven't been rejected
You might be bored after three months in the role and severely underpaid but at least you haven't been rejected
That's not what we want real growth is gonna happen outside of the comfort zone
We want you to go for roles that feel big that feel like you can grow into them right that two suit sizes
Too large for you, and that's exciting because imagine all the growing and development that you're going to do
over the space of a couple of years
So if rejection isn't inevitable for you, and it isn't part of the process
You may want to check yourself and just make sure that you're actually going for roles
That are stretching you so a few tips on how to handle our good friend rejection. So my first is that
It's all about high intention low attachment and what this means for me
is that
You put your heart and soul into it high intention. You do your best and you really go hard in the process
It's in tension with the way you approach things high intention than what you do, but low attachment to the outcome
So whether it's a yes or a no you're detaching from that. That's not the definition of success here. So it's about
Having the opportunity to practice your elevated pitch
It's about having the opportunity to brand yourself in a new way and try
Out new things with your cover letter and resume and see how that lands. It's about meeting interesting people and cool companies
It's about so much more than the outcome
so
Your intention your goals should be all around the process
And not necessarily the outcome. I know it's easy to say but every process is full of learning and growth and it's an interesting opportunity
In so many different ways and if you can enjoy the process or at least learn to see the benefit of the process
Then you'll be far less
Devastated if the outcomes are no the next tip is around not making it mean something. Okay?
I'm not making it mean something
It doesn't I have been
In the decision making room. I have been the recruiter. I have been the one working with the managers to decide
Who gets the role and who doesn't and let me tell you?
there are
A thousand different reasons you may not have got in that role. Firstly there are personal referrals, which are super super strong
Where a current employee has recommended someone that they know for the role. There's also just nepotism
so maybe the director's nephew applied or her godson or something like that and that comes into play sometimes as well much to the
Disdain of most recruiters, but unfortunately, those are the kind of dynamics
we sometimes have to deal with sometimes we can be at the very very end of a stage of a role and there's a
Company-wide headcount freeze that's been announced, sometimes the budget for the role gets canned
Sometimes the hiring manager was never really interested in external prospects
anyway, they had an internal hire already in mind for the role and sometimes there's just another candidate who was
Outstanding they had the skills
But they also had the passion and the hunger and they networked and they just blew
Us out of the water and that happens too sometimes as well
So rather than making a rejection about you and what it means about you like i'm not enough
i'm
Not qualified enough. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't confident enough in the interview
All of these horrible thoughts. Detach yourself from it and think to yourself
What can I learn from this and this is where you ask for feedback as well?
Which we'll get into into a little bit
But wherever you can it's really about using this as fuel to keep going rather than like
Oh, I should have never applied to a company like that. I should have never applied to a role like that I suck
I'm, not good enough and i'll never ever get into the company
We'll talk about that a little bit later as well because I have seen this happen
So many times where a client has been rejected once or twice from a dream company
And they actually get the role on the third time. Now tip number three is believe that there is an abundance of opportunities
Out there for you, and this comes down to a bit of psychology 101. But have you ever noticed?
You know, you buy your first car and it's a red car and suddenly you see red cars everywhere
Or maybe one of your best friends gets pregnant and suddenly everyone's pregnant
Or maybe you had that just one sneaking suspicion about that dodgy ex-boyfriend
and then suddenly like
Every single thing he'd do you'd be able to notice that there was actually loads of clues that he was just a giant loser
My point is is that this is how the brain works that's called the brain's
reticular activating system and basically what it means is that
When you have a thought or a belief or a story or a concept floating around in your brain?
The reticular activating system is actually scanning
For evidence and affirmation and information that aligns to that. So this is happening completely subconsciously
You have no control
Over it just like when you've you know driven from work to home and you have no idea how you got there. It's completely
Automatic and happening subconsciously, but basically how it works
Is that based on your beliefs and your thoughts it will tune in to specific information?
More than others so you just bought a red car now. It's noticing red cars
but what it also means is that if you
fundamentally believe that there's a lack of jobs out there that the job market's really tied in people are really struggling and it's just
Really a horrible landscape at the moment. Then your brain is actually going to pick up on all this information
It's going to notice the headlines saying the same thing. It's going to overhear people talking about these kinds of stories
It's going to hear about the struggles
You're going to see and hear and process the information that basically backs up your hypothesis
But likewise if you fundamentally believe that there's an abundance of opportunity out there. There's loads of activity happening
It may be on the hidden job market
But there are jobs being opened and filled all the time around you in your target profession then guess what will happen
So if you think about the basic mindset triangle right where you've got your belief or your thought or your story at the top?
And that informs the action taken or your behavior, which then informs your results?
It becomes pretty clear that you're literally creating your own reality. So if your belief is that there are no jobs out there
It's completely dry. There's nothing on the market and companies just aren't hiring at the moment. Your reticular activating system is going to be scanning
And pick up on all the evidence and reasons that that's true
And make you feel like you're right about that. The behavior is that you will not take action
You will procrastinate maybe you'll go for a few things
But you won't really put your heart into it because what's the point if it's not going to work out anyway?
So you're going to behave in a way that's not conducive to results and then the result is is that you can't find a job
And you don't get a job now. I'm not saying that objectively
Sometimes the market is incredibly tight and it's incredibly competitive and saturated and hard to find a job
But there is always hiring activity happening out there mostly 80 of the time in the hidden job market
But don't make things harder for yourself
don't make matters worse by having a negative mindset where basically it's hopeless because
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and the results you'll get will be based on the fundamental beliefs that you have
So rather than getting trapped in this vicious cycle, I really want you to believe it. I want you to believe
that there are opportunities out there exciting opportunities and I want you to
Visualize it I really want to you to imagine how it will feel getting that job offer
And this actually tricks your brain who can't differentiate between what's real and not real so they can't really differentiate between information
You're just sort of telling yourself versus things that have actually happened and it will actually get it into the mode of like, okay
That's going to happen and re-motivate it and really help switch up those fundamental beliefs so that you can get yourself
On the self-fulfilling prophecy of success now talking about upgrading your mindset
This is going to be really useful when you ask for feedback
So if you've received one of those generic order replies, which is like, thank you
We were really lucky we were spoiled for choice
And basically you didn't progress to the next
Round or even you've been going through the interview process for a while and you get a rejection email from the recruiter don't stop there
as scary as it may seem you have to ask for
Feedback about why you didn't progress now one of my clients received one of these
Autoresponder rejections from a company that she really wanted to go for and she emailed them saying something like this. Hi rebecca. Thank you
so much for your response regarding my application with seven years in digital marketing and
communications in the mobile and web app space
I was super excited for this role. So I would love to know how I might have improved my application
Do you have any specific feedback for me regarding either my cv cover letter or experience I thrive on feedback
So i'm genuinely interested to hear how I might improve. I also know. I applied a few weeks into your recruitment process
So it was potentially late to the game, which mightn't have helped
Either way, I would really appreciate your insights. Have a great rest of your week best, Anna. Now this is word for word the exact
response that she got
Dear anna thank you very much for your email of yesterday
I completely understand the need for feedback as you might know
our
Organization is very insistent about using feedback as a tool for growth. I should start with mentioning that my reasons in the original
Email were definitely too vague and I should have clarified this more. I apologize for this in retrospect
Your application did tick the boxes in many ways. We loved the enthusiasm for organization
The way you formatted your cv to match our company's standards and your experience meets the needs of the post
So the reason we decided not to proceed is when you actually stated yourself
Unfortunately while we were impressed with your application
We already have a few candidates at the very end of the application process and a few in the later stages
I should have stated this originally but did not do so, etc. Etc
So the recruiter here I know and I know not all of them. Get back to you
But you never know has basically let this person know exactly what went wrong
She applied a bit too late in the game and they had already started processing candidates a few weeks prior
Now the plot twist is that this client is actually currently
In the very very final stages for another more senior higher paid role at this exact company. So remember
Know when you get a no, it's not necessarily no forever. It's no for right now
No for this particular opening, but it doesn't mean that you can't impress a recruiter
Keep networking with them have a really positive attitude and really stand out to the hr and recruiters that you've been working with
Because they'll think of you when another opening comes up
Of course
It's not just about asking for the feedback but listening to it as well
And just look to see if there are any themes or patterns coming up so that you can tweak your job heart strategy
If you so need to now because we're humans and not robots
My last tip is that if you have been rejected, and it's really getting you down
Allow it. Give yourself a deadline
So I want you to feel the rejection and process it. I really recommend having a job hunt journal where you can just
Write down how you're feeling on a daily basis
It's really cathartic and kind of get it all out or maybe tell someone tell a dear friend just process it and get it out
Somehow and then give yourself a deadline for how long you're going to allow it to get you down
So at first this may be as long as a day
You may be like when you're new to the game and you get that first big rejection and it kind of hurts
It may take a whole day where you just feel like
Look i'm going to take the rest of the day off. I need a break. I want to go for a walk
You may need to process it for that long
But as you keep going it's going to get shorter and shorter and shorter and eventually you'll be able to say, okay
I'm going to let this kind of get to me for about an hour
I'm going to set my timer have a break go for a walk eat a piece of fruit
Journal do something i'm gonna go work out and then when I get back at this time at 3 pm
we're moving on because the biggest antidote to rejection is to keep the momentum high and just keep
Moving you've got to stay high vibe as well
Like even if it's even if you've just had a big rejection and then you have an interview that afternoon
dance it out do something to get high vibe because people can
Feel it on you you'll feel your energy, right?
So make sure that you're always high vibe and high energy when you're interacting with people in decision-making roles as well
But if I had to sum it up in a nutshell
know and fundamentally believe that your
Next role is coming to you and it's going to be awesome, know that you're going to grow and learn a lot through this
And just tell yourself that you're going to have a killer story to tell
In the end because no good story is just like I wanted a job and then I got one
You're like well
Let me tell you what I went through to get this dream job. I went for 15 companies 12 of them rejected me
It was a battlefield and I finally, you know a good redemption story and then I got my dream job
So yeah, I mean rejection may never get easier objectively, but you do get better at dealing with it
So for all of you job seekers out there right now who can feel me on this one i'm sending you super good vibes
Keep going. Your role is coming and I can't wait to hear about the next job that you land
Leave a comment below this video and otherwise guys
Thank you so much for watching and i'll see you in the next video until then. Stay badass. Bye
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