Hi, guys welcome to Ftm fantastic. I'm Emil and this week we are going to be talking about unwanted consequences of transition.
This is a topic that I think is that... I like it!
I like it! Because I think it's healthy to talk about the consequences that you didn't want.
The first thing I can think of when I think of unwanted consequences is hair loss, potential hair loss.
My hairline has been receding. Not that much
but I know that I could potentially lose my hair. Honestly, even though if I could choose I would keep my hair, I'm fine with it.
Because the other things that I've been given through my transition they definitely weigh up for it.
So it's not like it's something that makes me regret starting testosterone at all.
My transition has been a hugely positive thing. I don't regret it whatsoever.
However there are things that have become more difficult.
Mostly consequences of being trans in a society that doesn't accept trans people, rather than being a consequence of the actual transition itself.
So what are those things that's more of consequence being trans in a society that doesn't really accept trans people?
Hi
So this whole probably has to do more with homophobia and transphobia.
It also has to do with misogyny, because involves makeup... Whatever.
So I can't go outside wearing makeup anymore without being afraid of being harassed or abused.
Which is a huge con, because I like makeup. Another con is of course that locker rooms get a lot more complicated.
I'm being read as male when people look at me and people talk to me, and I've had... you know... top surgery.
But I haven't had bottom surgery and so it's very complicated for me to go into a locker room.
I have to plan in advance if I'm going to. Maybe I already wear the pants I'm gonna wear in the gym.
or maybe I stand with my... with my front to a wall and when everyone's behind me and... you know.
I have to really plan this out, sort of.
And so it's a little bit more complicated. It's not an obstacle I can't overcome.
But it's more complicated. But again, that's the consequence of... of like... transphobia in society.
Another con I was going to mention is one that's very personal to me.
And it's that I generally live with a lot of fear.
This doesn't have to do directly with my transition or with me being trans. It's just me
having a lot of anxiety about things, and I'm working on it, and I definitely need to keep working on it.
But I I have a lot of fear and something happened to me recently that made me even more fearful.
Trigger warning: physical abuse.
So I was walking on the street. Middle of the day.
Suddenly somebody kicks me in the back from behind. I dropped my phone, turned around like' what the f*** are you doing'?
See two guys there. One of them like runs after me, starts hitting me. I call for help. People are around. Nobody's helping me.
And I eventually I just like punch him back, and then he stopped and then I ran home. I was fine.
I've had a bit of a backache for a month, but I'm like I'm fine.
It probably wasn't a hate crime, but the fact that that happened, whatever the reason, drugs, whatever
has made me a lot more aware of that these things can happen.
Because when they haven't happened to you - you feel like even though you know it can happen.
It doesn't really feel real in a way.
You know what I mean? But now that this happened to me, it feels a lot more real, and I'm constantly afraid of it happening again.
Because somebody notices that I'm a feminine guy or whatever, like they don't like gay people and so they do something to me.
I'm very afraid of that. And in a way
I think it's a good fear, because you know... self-preservation and all that. But also, it doesn't really do anything for me.
And I don't want to live my life in fear, because that's not worth it.
It just ruins the fun.
But that's also an unwanted consequence is this fear of people finding out that
you're trans and then not approving of it and then becoming violent.
Or for me just people noticing that I'm I talk a certain way. I dress a certain way, whatever, and then doing something to me.
That fear is something that's almost always present for me.
It sucks that we live in a society where these are things that we have to deal with.
Because as I said, all of these things that I mentioned - except for the hair loss - don't have to do with the actual physical transition in itself.
It has to do with how society works and transphobia and homophobia.
And yeah, it sucks.
But it's good to consider and to talk about the unwanted consequences of transition.
It's something that you need to be aware of before you start transitioning
before you make decisions to also think about the things that you don't want that could happen or that will happen.
So I hope you've enjoyed this video, and I will see you next week. Love you. Bye!