(mellow alternative rock music)
- It was a rough week.
Let's sing about it.
♫ A teacher in Alabama
♫ Wore black face to a party
♫ And he's not gonna get in trouble
♫ And nobody seems surprised
♫ A police officer in South Carolina
♫ Assaulted a young black woman
♫ He had a reputation of being violent
♫ And nobody seemed surprised
♫ It was announced that processed meats
♫ Could increase your risk of getting cancer
♫ And somehow
♫ Everyone's surprised ♫
(sighing) We gotta do better next week, guys.
This was not a good week.
- This was a hard one, man
- Yeah.
And of course processed meat gives you cancer.
Of course it does, of course it does!
This is not news!
- I didn't need an official declaration--
- Of course it does. That's what makes it so good.