[grunting]
What'd you eat for breakfast? A big bowl of crazy flakes?
- Oi! - Rabbi Goldman.
That was a real rabbi.
I didn't know.
I don't have cable.
Puckett, you just earned yourself triple detention.
Come along, Rabbi.
How my hair look, Sam?
You look good, Gib.
[blowing whistle]
[screaming]
What... what happened?
- Was I sleeping? - You were.
Did I hear a loud whistle?
You probably just dreamed it.
So why were you sleeping on the stairs?
Because Andre stayed over at my house last night,
and he was playing the piano until 4 in the morning, so I didn't get any--
- I wasn't done talking. - I was done listening.
Let's shake him up.
What is that?
A sock full of butter.
- For what? - For swinging.
I could brand an outfit with this thing.
We're not gonna to walk in there and start hitting TV writers
with a big, buttery sock.
We're going to be professional and firm.
Fine.
But if they deny stealing from iCarly, I'm gonna get swinging with this thing.
Not unless I say it's OK.
Hello.
You guys are the writers for Totally Terry?
Yeah.
- What do you want? - We're from iCarly.
They know that.
What do you clowns think you are stealing our ideas?
Whoa. We've never stolen an idea from anyone.
So why don't you two little girls just--
[grunting]
Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.
Hazelnut?
I don't know. I found it in the garbage.
Take me to juvie with her.
- No. - Why not?
Because you didn't commit a crime.
Here, let me have that.
[shrieking]
♪ All around the mulberry bush ♪
♪ The monkey chased the weasel ♪
♪ The monkey thought... ♪
She's just gonna sing, huh?
- I don't understand what-- - Shh.
- But you're... you're in the bathtub. - Shh!
Stop it!
[screaming]
Pop goes the weasel!
[screaming]
- I hate you! - I love you!
[screaming]
Now, which of you Americans would like to be the first
to try a Canadian fat cake.
I wouldn't mind being the fi-- oh!
May I?
- OK, Sam, take a bite-- - Shut up!
I need to focus.
[groaning]
Worst night ever.
Oh, you think I'm having fun on this date because I'm not.
- Then let's not talk. - Fine.
- You know-- - Ugh!
There is no good reason why you and I shouldn't be able
to sit here together and have a conversation.
- I got a good reason. - Which is?
I don't like you.
Really? You can't think of one thing that you like about me?
I like when you're sad.
OK, try again.
Reach deep down into your twisted, bitter soul
and see if you can find anything nice to say about me.
Uh, OK.
You're singing isn't awful.
[whimpering]
My goodness, that tray was hot.
Well, lookie there, my skin's starting to blister.
And I do believe that's a sweet smell of my burning flesh.
- Jade, perhaps I should drive you-- - Who's Jade?
My name is Betty Sue Goldenheart,
a happy farm girl who's experiencing extreme pain right now.
[shrieking]
[whimpering]
And yet she never broke character.
Move this car!
You broke character!
Ka-boom!
[laughing]
Hey, um, can we lower the microphone a little bit?
A little lower. A little lower, yeah.
[screaming]
No! Don't, don't! Ow!
[grunting]
Yeah, kids love dinosaurs.
[screaming]
What up, what up, what up?
Wow, it's so dark in here.
- Foul! - What foul?
You intentionally sabotaged my moment.
- How could I intentionally sab-- - He was totally about to kiss me.
Really?
Guys, can I ask you--
Shut up! I'm opening a Christmas present.
Brunch...
Oh, my God, Cat, you did not.
[squeaking]
- Scissors. - They're special scissors!
OK.
They're from a real movie.
I cannot believe you got me these.
- What movie were they used in? - The Scissoring.
Wait, that one about the girl who comes back from the dead
and uses a pair of scissors on her two best friends?
- Yep. - Starting with the pretty girl.
[music playing]