>> ERIC! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING AWAKE? IT'S PAST YOUR BED TIME.
>> I'M SCARED. I THINK THERE'S A BOOGIEMAN IN
MY CLOSET. >> ERIC, THERE'S NO BOOGIEMAN IN
YOUR CLOSET. HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS
AGAIN? >> YEAH.
>> YOU CAN'T WATCH THAT STUFF, BUD.
IT'S TOO GROWN-UP. >> THEY SAID THEY'RE GOING TO
INDICT YOU. >> DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, PAL,
BUT HEY, I'M IMPRESSED YOU KNOW WHAT INDICT MEANS!
>> YEAH, INDICT, THERE'S NO SUGAR IN DIET COKE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> ALMOST, BUT YOU'LL GET IT.
HEY, HOW ABOUT A BEDTIME STORY? >> OKAY.
>> OH, HERE WE GO, 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS."
THIS IS A CLASSIC. REMEMBER, IF THERE'S EVER A WORD
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, BUD, JUST SAY STOP.
>> OKAY. >> OKAY.
>> 'TWAS A -- >> 'TWAS, THAT'S THE WORDS IT
AND WAS PUT TOGETHER, BUDDY. IT'S A CONTRACTION.
>> STOP. >> OKAY.
CONTRACTION IS -- YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S JUST KEEP READING, OKAY?
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE, NOT A
CREATURE WAS STIRRING, NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
>> YOU HEAR THAT, DAD? THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY CLOSET.
>> BUT THAT'S JUST THE CHEAP STEEL DAD USES TO BUILD HIS
TOWERS. AND IT'S BLOWING IN THE WIND.
LOOK, BUDDY, NOTHING IN THE CLOSET.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SEE, NO ONE'S IN YOUR CLOSET.
>> ROBERT MUELLER'S IN THERE! >> ERIC, NOBODY LIKES A FIBBER.
OOPS, OKAY, I'M SORRY, BUD. THIS IS MY LAWYER, I NEED TO
TAKE THIS. LOOK, ERIC, EVERYTHING'S GOING
TO BE FINE, OKAY? LOVE YOU, BUDDY.
>> LOVE YOU. >> ALL RIGHT.
HEY, HOW BAD IS IT? UH-HUH, OH, GOD!
UH-HUH. BUT CAN I FLIP ON HIM?
OKAY. >> NIGHT, DON.
>> HI, ERIC. DON'T BE SCARED.
IT'S JUST ME, ROBERT MUELLER, YOUR DAD'S FRIEND FROM WORK.
>> I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU.
>> THAT'S FINE, ERIC. IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR EARLY ON
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. >> NOPE.
>> I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR SOME OF YOUR BAD'S FRIENDS.
>> MR. FAN-A-FART. >> MANAFORT.
>> MR. POP -- >> POPOLOPODUS.
>> MR. COHEN? >> YOU MIGHT WANT TO START
CALLING HIM FEDERAL INMATE 10358.
[ LAUGHTER ] GET IT, ERIC?
>> NOPE. >> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE
LAUGHING BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. THAT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH YOU
WANT TO VISIT YOUR FAMILY. >> OH, NO.
THAT'S -- THAT'S NOT GOOD. BUT, HEY, NO ONE KNOWS THE FULL
STORY YET. YOU SAW WHAT I PUT ON.
IT'S ALL BEEN HEAVILY REDACTED. DO YOU KNOW WHAT REDACTED IS?
>> UH-HUH. LIKE WHEN MY DAD CALLED JEFF
SESSIONS MENTALLY REDACTED. >> YEAH, YEAH, THAT WAS FUN.
BUT, ERIC, I JUST CAME HERE TO LET YOU KNOW, NO MATTER WHAT
HAPPENS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AMERICA IS GOING TO BE JUST
FINE. THIS IS A COUNTRY FULL OF GOOD
PEOPLE. >> YEAH.
GOOD PEOPLE LIKE MY DAD. >> LET'S PUT A PIN IN THAT.
>> MR. MUELLER, PEOPLE SAY YOU'RE THE WORST THING TO EVER
HAPPEN TO MY DAD. >> NO, ERIC, GETTING ELECTED WAS
THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOUR DAD.
AND -- >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!