Being Creative
Husbands and wives have freedom
to be creative in terms of sexual intimacy,
including their lovemaking environment.
Here now is Gene Getz:
We have a very interesting dynamic here
in terms of the husband and the wife.
And that is that while her husband
was actually extolling her beauty,
the wife interrupted him
and completed the sentence.
It's kind of fascinating because he stated:
"Your mouth is like fine wine...
And then she replied
before he finished his sentence.
...flowing smoothly from my love,
gliding past my lips and teeth!"
In other words, this is for you.
I'm here for you.
And you can see the interaction,
the communication, the spontaneity
that exists in that conversation.
But then the young bride initiated
a change in the environment. And she says:
Come, my love, let's go to the field;
let's spend the night among
the henna blossoms.
And by the way, as far as I know
those are henna blossoms.
In other words, this somewhat takes us
back to the Garden of Eden.
This takes us back to the
original creation where God created Adam,
created the animals,
then created Eve for Adam.
And introduced them there in
the beautiful Garden of Eden.
That beautiful environment.
And Adam of course was
thrilled with what he saw.
This was a whole new perspective.
He had not seen a creation like Eve.
He said: This is bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh.
She smiles. She walks.
We can talk. We can interact.
And it was within that
very natural environment, obviously,
that they culminated their
intimate relationship.
Now of course, in our particular culture today,
we have limitations, obviously
in terms of environment.
But think about that for a moment.
By the way, some people think about
the empty nest as a difficult time.
Well it can be a really freed up time.
Children of course, certainly are wonderful,
but it does affect the environment
that we have as husbands and wives.
And so consequently, what we have here
is a very significant observation.
That is the facts are, there is no biblical function
that opens the door so widely
for creativity, which demonstrates
this indeed is a gift from God.
Now think about this for a moment.
Think about the world and what
they do with this gift.
There is no subject that is used
more creatively with humor--
and sometimes very inappropriate humor--
in relationship to the sexual relationship.
They come at it from every angle with symbolism
and all kinds of approaches to the subject.
I sometimes wonder what more is there
they can do with the subject.
Particularly Hollywood.
You ever stop to wonder why?
They're dealing with a gift from God that is a unique.
And is actually a reflection of the Trinity.
The unity that exists in the Trinity.
The oneness that God created
for a man and a woman to be a
reflection of the unity that exists
in the eternal community.
And so even the world recognizes this.
And it's a testimony to the fact that
this is a very creative gift
which God has given us.
And particularly to utilize that
gift creatively as God gives freedom
to do so within the bonds of marriage.
As I was thinking about this, I thought
about Galatians chapter 5, verse 1.
And normally, you don't think of this
verse in relationship to intimacy.
But it's part of this verse.
It's part of this truth:
Christ has liberated us to be free.
Stand firm then and don't submit again
to a yoke of slavery.
Now we know we're dealing here--
Paul is dealing here with grace versus law.
But the implications are also, we are
free from the bondage of sin.
We are free from baggage.
We can be free from baggage.
We can be free from the inhibitions
that have been created
because of an inappropriate
approach or view.
We can be free from the distortions.
In Christ, we're free. In a total sense
but also it relates down to this
very specific relationship that we
read about here in the Song of Solomon.
Christ has liberated us to be free.
But in Galatians 5:13, he accentuates it again:
For you were called to be free,
brothers [sisters]; only...
And this is very significant now
because there is a guideline.
There are perimeters:
...only don't use this freedom
as an opportunity for the flesh,
but serve one another through love.
Now that certainly applies
very specifically to that
intimate relationship.
It's applying to our total relationship
to serve one another in love.
And don't use it as an opportunity
for the flesh for selfishness,
for manipulation, for control.
But use it the way God designed it--
to set us free.
And it's also very interesting that
we have a guiding principle, I believe,
that will guide us in this
intimate relationship as well as
all of our relationships. And that is:
We are always to reflect
the fruit of the Spirit in
all of our relationships
with one another.
And we bring that to bear upon this
relationship in a very unique and special way.
God does not compartmentalize us
as married couples.
He doesn't compartmentalize us
in the aspects of our relationship.
He sees us as a total unit together.
And wants our whole body, soul,
and spirit to be preserved blameless,
until the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.
So here's the question for application:
Why is it so easy for couples
to become routine when it comes to
sexual love and what appropriate steps
can be taken to avoid boredom?
Well I think one of the things we need
to be aware of is that generally speaking,
and I always try to qualify it with
that word. Generally speaking,
it's easy to take each other for granted
in all aspects of our relationship.
He loves me.
She loves me.
I know that. But I take it for granted.
Even to the point where
we don't say "I love you" enough.
Or I care about you. Or the little things
in life that are very important
in a relationship.
That are peripheral perhaps
to the intimate relationship,
but are very important in our relationship.
He'll never cheat on me.
Well thank God. Don't take that for granted.
I'm not saying that as a threat.
I'm just simply saying:
Just don't take each other for granted.
We shouldn't set each other up
for temptation as well.
And Paul talks about that as well.
And that's a very, very important
concept in this whole relationship.
Now in answer to the appropriate steps:
You know, we're very fortunate
in the world in which we live.
We're very fortunate by the way,
to have the Song of Solomon.
To have the Bible.
To be able to read this.
To be able to understand it.
To be able to interpret it in the light
of the whole biblical story.
That's a blessing in itself.
But one of the things that
I just noted is: We need to keep communicating.
Let's not withdraw from each other.
And it's very easy to allow that to happen.
Now silence is good.
But we can go into a silent mode.
And to keep communication open,
we have to work at that.
We have to take interest in each other.
And that's a lifetime goal.
And if we don't set that as a goal,
we'll find ourselves being
sidetracked from good communication.
We need to set goals in relationship to
this specific gift.
We're very fortunate in the
good literature that we have today
that can help us understand each other
in ways that people, our parents for example,
had no access to what we have access today.
I remember one of the first books
that came out which was written
by a medical doctor
and a really strong Christian.
His name was Ed--
Dr. Ed Wheat and his wife's name was Gaye.
And they wrote a book together
called "Intended for Pleasure."
Being a medical doctor,
it was a real breakthrough to have a book
that was written, particularly on this
theme of sexual intimacy
and God's design, which he called
"Intended for Pleasure."
And [I] got to know Ed quite well.
Both Elaine and I, and Gaye.
By the way, he went home to be
with the Lord a number of years ago.
She's still living.
And every year she sends a check
to our ministry, the Center for Church Renewal.
We had that relationship with them.
And they were a wonderful couple.
But they, just with openness and discretion,
dealt with the themes here in
the Song of Solomon and beyond
in a very specific way.
From a medical point of view,
psychological point of view.
And that was a great gift, I think
to the Christian community.
And since that time, we have other books
that are written--that have been written.
And some of them are, I think
very good. Others I've questioned.
There's good secular literature.
Though we've got to be very careful
in that regard because of the values
that they bring to what they're saying.
But the fact is, there are things we
can learn--even from the secular community.
And one of the things that I think
inhibits reading is we're afraid to read
because we don't want to find out
what we're not.
In other words, we're threatened by it.
And that's what we have to be careful of
because the idealism can be intimidating.
And we can feel: Boy, you know, I've got a problem.
But see, that's all the more reason
I think we should read and be open
to understand, to comprehend,
and to be disciplined in this area of our life.
So here's the Principle:
Husbands and wives have freedom
to be creative in terms of sexual intimacy,
including their lovemaking environment.