(bright festive music)
- Hello lovely people.
Today I'm joined, not only by my gorgeous wife,
but by Jamie and Shaaba.
- Hi. - Hello.
- Do you wanna tell us a little bit about what you guys do?
- Go for it?
- Oh, oh this is (mumbles)
- I love that you passed off the spiel,
like I'm not doing it.
- Shaaba's just like, Jamie.
Oh, can you do it?
You're better at this.
- We make content on trans stuff,
Jamie's transition journey.
- 'Cause I am trans.
- And our relationship and the ups and downs
that have gone alongside that journey.
- And then this is my channel
and I make content about being deaf, disabled,
having a chronic illness, gayness
- Gayness (laughs) - And vintage stuff.
Yeah, I love that the word is actually gayness.
- Is it a word? - Yeah.
So if there's a lot of gay people in a room,
you can say this room is full of gayness.
- Oh transliness should be a word.
- Transliness.
- Really? - It's not.
- That doesn't make sense.
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- It's okay, gayness rolls off the tongue.
- But why transliness?
- Transness.
- I just talk about it,
I'm talking about like transy things (mumbles)
- We've made up a lot of terms, baby trans.
- Baby trans.
- Is a new one.
- It's for people who are just transitioning.
- Like baby gay, but.
- Yeah, I've heard of that one.
- Sure.
I wanted to talk to you guys about teetotal life,
not drinking, which in England is apparently quite strange.
People always seem very shocked when they find out
that I don't drink.
So, I wanted to talk to you guys about it
and whether you did drink and then you stopped
or if you've always not drunk and what that's like.
I just want to bond with some other people
who may have similar experiences to me
because I always felt very alone
as a teenager who didn't drink.
- Yeah, we've been not invited to things with friends,
because they're like, oh we thought you wouldn't like it
because you don't drink.
- All the time, especially like--
- Shocking.
- During your teenage years,
they'll be like, oh, you don't drink,
so why would you want to come?
Well, there's more to a night--
- It's a party!
- Yeah.
- I can act stupid without drinking.
- Exactly.
- And just saying, being the only sober one in a room
can be quite entertaining.
- I agree (bell dings)
- I think it's because some people who,
as a person who drinks,
I think it's like people feel like, almost like
you're gonna judge them because you're sober.
- Yeah.
- And therefore you're gonna remember everything they do,
where as if you're also like slightly inebriated
then you're also gonna be making--
- Yeah, I think when we first started dating,
you had issues with the idea that I would be aware
of everything you did whilst drunk
and then I'd hold it against you
and then you realized that I had memory problems so (laughs)
I don't remember anything that goes on.
- So, Claud, do you drink often?
- No, not really anymore, I used to drink quite a lot
but I think because Jessica doesn't drink,
I just don't really drink anymore,
unless I'm out with friends who also drink,
then I might have a bit
but I don't really get really drunk anymore.
- It's funny, drunk Claudia didn't like me very much
to start with,
'cause she was like, "You're stopping my fun."
- I would tell her if I get really drunk tonight,
just make sure you give me lots of water
and I have to be in bed by this time
and even if I'm like, "Don't give me water,"
just force me to have it, she's like, "Okay,"
and then later on she'll be like,
"Claudia, here's some water,"
I'd be like, "No!"
And smash it out of her hand (laughs)
- I love that.
- I was like, "What's wrong with you?"
"You just told me."
Or she'd do it the same breath,
she'd be like, "Go get me water, I need it."
I return with it, "How dare you?"
And then you came up with a genius plan
of putting lime and ice in it
to make me think it was gin and tonic
and then I was like, "Okay."
- That's brilliant
- There you go.
- We have done that to a few friends,
be like, "Oh, here's some more."
We went to the extent of emptying a wine bottle.
- And then--
- Which was red wine and filling it with water.
- They still didn't notice?
- They had no clue. - Yeah, didn't notice.
- Wow.
- Did they pour it into a glass and still not notice?
- No, straight from the bottle.
- Oh, ew.
Ew.
(laughing)
Winey water, that sounds pretty disgusting to be honest.
- To be honest, wine also sounds disgusting to me, so.
- Yes!
- That's a big part of it, just don't like the taste.
- Have you never drank?
- I drank before I was legally allowed to drink--
- Okay, sure, sure.
- Like when I was 16 having house parties,
sneaking some beers in and stuff.
- But it's because you have a responsible mom.
- Yes, yeah, but we'd have a bit of a drink then
and then I just got bored of it.
I was like, whenever I wake up the next day I feel awful,
I hate it, I don't feel good when I'm drinking
so I'm just not gonna do it anymore.
- Okay, fair enough.
- Fun fact.
- Yeah?
- The last time I was drunk--
- It wasn't the last time, it was the time before
and only in eight years of being together
and nine years of knowing you in total,
Jamie's been drunk twice.
- Whoa.
- The first time you confessed you liked me.
- Aww. - Yeah.
- And the second time was our sorta first house party thing.
- Sure.
- So I'm kind of grateful for the time that you drank.
- Yes, well we ended up together.
- Aww, yeah, how would life have gone
if you hadn't got drunk that one time?
- If I hadn't had that Dutch courage.
- I think if you're someone like me
and possibly like you, who's a bit more introverted
than extroverted like Jessica,
like drinking kinda helped in the past
but as I've got older I've become more confident
so I don't need it so much
because it's a bit of a security blanket thing.
- It's fine.
- I feel like a lot of people drink
because they feel like they're more confident and more fun
but for me I just got a bit sleepy
which doesn't make you more fun.
- Aww, no.
- So there was no point for me.
I was just like in a corner, like, bed time.
- I always got drunk on other people's inhibitions,
so like as people start to drop their guard,
have more fun, dance around, I'm like yes, let's go!
Let's dance on some tables.
- Yeah, but I think you're always a little bit high.
- Yeah, one of my medications apparently is the equivalent
of two glasses of beer.
- Really?
- And I take it three times a day.
(laughing)
- So technically, I drink six glasses of beer a day.
- You're just drunk all the time.
- I'm just always drunk.
- If you miss a pill you basically become a bit hungover.
- This is true.
- She becomes really grumpy.
- Really? - Wow.
- Really like, ugh, got a headache.
- Oh, wow.
- In that voice.
- My body starts to vibrate, like withdrawal.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Just like this in the corner, doing (mumbles)
- Oh no, can we not relive that please?
The time when I told Shaaba I liked her,
that was a little bit over eight years ago,
so it was November.
- Do your family drink?
- Yes.
- A lot, not in a bad way.
- Oh, yeah, no, not in a bad way.
- I just find it incredible.
- But my parents enjoy wine, whiskeys,
they'll go out with colleagues and stuff and have drinks.
My mom has genuinely said to me,
"I don't understand how I've raised a child
that doesn't drink."
- Yeah.
- She's quite happy about it,
she's like, "I'm very proud of you,
I think it's a good thing,
but I don't understand how it's happened."
- Yeah, I think my parents share that confusion.
- When you go to the pub or something with your parents,
were they ever a bit like, "Oh, just have one."
Trying to almost, not force you.
- Not my parents but other people,
like somebody even bought us drinks, alcoholic drinks,
didn't tell us it was alcohol, knows we don't drink
and just put them in our hands
and said, "Here I got you a drink,"
and we take a sip and it's like, this is alcohol
and really disgusting alcohol,
so we just put them back down.
- It's a bit weird
because it's just costing them more money as well.
- It was also in a professional setting
so it wasn't even like they were just friends.
- Yeah, it was a bit awkward.
- There was such an expectation to just drink all the time.
- I constantly get given alcohol just because.
- Here you go.
- You know when you go to an event
and they're like, because I also can't have sugar,
so it then really limits the options
for what I can have to drink.
- Diet Coke.
- Normally, it's just, here have some Prosecco
as you enter, or, here we have some lemonade
and I'm like, "Is it diet lemonade?"
- Especially at weddings, it's always the sober option,
is like some fancy flavored water or something.
- Full sugared mango.
- Yeah, it's always super sugary
and then I'm like, "Anything, anything?"
And if they don't have Diet Coke,
I am just on water all night long.
- Oh.
- I just envisage Jessica with a straw to a puddle.
(laughing)
- Thanks.
- You joke, but yeah, I wouldn't rule it out,
if she gets that desperate,
she gets really thirsty, like, every ten minutes.
- Yeah, I constantly drink, I have to hydrate.
- Long car journeys are a nightmare,
'cause she's just like, "We've run out of fluids,
I need the toilet," it's like every half hour
is either I need to have a drink or I need the toilet.
- Yeah, I drink eight liters of water a day.
- Wow.
- I wish I could do that,
I feel like it's what the NHS always says
that we should be doing.
- No!
- They say eight glasses.
- Eight glasses.
- I think which equates to two liters.
- I can't even do two glasses a day, I try.
- Yeah, I can't drink much water.
- What?
I don't understand people who can't take in fluids.
- What do you drink if you don't drink water?
- Oh no. - Coke.
- I mean, you still have liquids.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, good, right.
- Nowhere near the equivalent
of what you're supposed to though.
Don't lie, we don't drink eight glasses
of liquid between us a day.
- No, no.
(laughing)
- Yeah, I've got Claudia covered, so.
- So it's all right for me to shrivel up like a prune,
'cause you're just drinking our share together.
- Yeah.
It's interesting that your family drink
because my family does as well
and they're Scandinavian, they're very into their alcohol
and my mother has tried to limit herself
by being like, I only drink after 6.00 p.m.
I think she's rolled it back now to be honest.
When we were kids--
- That's definitely not true,
I've seen her drink before 6:00 p.m.
(laughing)
- When we were kids though it was the limit,
I think maybe I set it upon her,
maybe she didn't make a choice,
I think I decided when I was like five.
- You're just like mother--
- You're not allowed to drink until it's 6:00 p.m.
Because it's the easy one to tell on the clock.
- Yeah, it's the same reason my rule is 12.
- What, so you don't drink until midnight?
- After midday.
- [Shaaba] I'm so confused.
- No, noon.
- After midday is okay.
- Lunchtime drinking, yeah.
- That's the rule in our household.
- Oh, I doubt it.
- Your mom has two lines,
one is, "It's 5 o'clock somewhere," which means--
- Yeah, yeah.
- And the second is, "Just drink through it."
All the time.
- Just drink through it?
- Just drink through it.
- Anything happens, just drink through it.
- But also, it's the weekend.
That's what she'll say, "It's the weekend,"
I'll be like, "Mom, it's really early."
"It's the weekend."
- Even when it's not the weekend.
- It's Tuesday.
- How early is it?
- Oh, lunchtime.
- Okay, that's all right.
- Just like a gin and tonic.
- Easy, it's after 12.
- But then it's like Thursday
and she's like, "It's the weekend, nearly."
- I don't know about you,
but one of the worst things for me about not drinking
is that there are no LGBTQ+ events
that do not revolve around alcohol.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Unless you have a baby, because there's like baby groups.
- Oh yeah, I don't know honey, we've not been yet.
- You'd have to have a glass of alcohol in your hand
or a baby.
- We don't know, we've not been to the baby event.
- That's true.
- We're not sure.
- You're right though,
'cause Pride events are very centered around after parties,
alcohol and then alcohol during the day.
You can't go to Pride without seeing drunk people.
- Even the day time things, you're just like,
I want to go to an event.
And as a gay student
I was always just like, "Can I have an event?"
"Just one, please, where it doesn't start at 11 p.m."
It doesn't mean everyone has to drink excessively,
it's not dark and noisy and kind of smelly.
- There's an LGBT tennis table club in Brighton.
- Sure, but again have we been?
- No.
- Do we know?
Know it's drinking?
- Oh I see, it's actually beer pong.
- Trans Pride isn't very alcoholy.
- That is far more family friendly.
- Yeah, so like--
- But as an event.
- There's even an evening thing at Trans Pride
that we went to and there was alcohol
but not everybody was drinking.
It was maybe what you'd class as kind of dirty and smelly,
still in that scenario.
- Very sticky.
- Sticky, yeah, but it was not as alcohol based
as like the LGBT+ Prides, like London Pride.
- Why do you think that is?
- I don't know.
It was an over eighteen event
so it was definitely not an age thing
but there was just a lot less alcohol.
- Can I say something without being too mean?
- Oh no.
- Trans people always look really young
so it may be out of desire for necessity (laughs)
- They had to have I.D.
- No, I know.
I just imagine little Nate and Alex
saying the exact same things.
What, an age thing?
- I'm just going to say something a bit more positive,
because you know going back how alcohol
is used as a bit of a like--
- A crutch.
- A crutch, a blanket about your own insecurities,
maybe when you're like an out and proud trans person,
you've kind of gone through your insecurities
and now you're actually just quite confident as a person,
I dunno, so you don't feel like you need to drink so much.
- Maybe.
- I think it's something different.
- And also like a safe environment as well.
- That's what I was going to say,
if you look at Pride events too,
so trans people in particular are always quite segregated,
whether it be through self action or not,
I've always found that the trans community
never feel at place in general Prides,
but Trans Prides have such a different feel.
So you're right about the security blanket,
but it's an environment that they can just be themselves in.
Where as I do feel that the LGB side of the Pride section
seems to be more party heavy.
- Yeah, I think there's also a lot more of a reliance
on that LGB side,
on the LGB, it's really hard to say that
without then continuing isn't it?
LGBTQ+.
The LGB side is obviously a lot more
about an outward feeling.
So Trans Pride is about you personally being trans
or you're there to support someone who is trans,
whereas the LGB parties, so much of it is
that kind of heightened sort of sexual tension.
- Because it's attraction as opposed to self identity.
- Where you're very aware that there are people
who are kind of like, are people looking at you,
are you looking at people, what's going on?
- Yeah, that's true.
- We saved so much money as students by not drinking.
(whispering)
- Yeah, yeah, I get the saving money thing actually.
- All our friends were broke.
- I know, I was always like, "Can we go out to lunch?"
"Can we go do some fun stuff?"
and my friends were like, "No, we have no money,
I spent 200 pounds last night at the club."
I'm like, "What did you even do?"
- I know someone who had like 20 quid left
and they were like, food or a bottle of vodka.
They went for the vodka.
- They literally went for vodka
and bought four cans of beans to last them three days
before the next lot of student finance came through.
- What is wrong with people?
- I traded a bag of Haribo
for a whole liter bottle of Smirnoff Vodka--
- That's a good trade.
- At a music festival.
- Wait, which way did it go?
Did you get the vodka?
- Yeah.
- That's a really good trade.
- Did the person think there was something
in the jelly beans?
- No, I think at those kind of music events,
there's so much alcohol and everyone's so drunk,
they kind of want something else that's not alcohol
and like, people hadn't prepared, they'd bought--
- The bartering price of alcohol goes down.
- Do you actually drink at all?
No, never, yes?
- If we're given a cocktail and it has coconut in it,
I will drink it because I love the taste of coconut
but yeah, I would never choose.
- Except for your special weakness.
- Of coconut, my kryptonite.
- Thank you so much for watching.
Go and subscribe to Jamie and Shaaba
on their various social media channels.
- What are they?
- @Jammidodger, oh my goodness,
you are the worst creator, I love you.
- It's fine, we're gonna put them on screen,
so just to clear up any confusion,
there will also be links in the description below,
where you can just click right through,
because clearly Jamie's not doing it for you today.
- Are you taking note?
- I'm not very good.
- There we go.
If you've enjoyed this video, please do subscribe,
leave a thumbs up and comment below
with your own thoughts about alcohol.
Do you drink?
How much do you drink?
Do your friends drink?
What is the culture of drinking like in your country?
I'm intrigued, so please let us know
and I shall see you for tomorrow's video. (gasps)
There we go, thank you.
(cheerful music)
- Ready to talk?
- Sorry, I was always the one going back.
- I just remember my dad taking me to get my first bra,
this is absolutely not what this video--
- Social medias, go.
(Jamie laughs)
- Go.
- Don't walk away, as in like the name of your channels.
- Oh, I thought you were saying go.
- It's not like just bugger off now, bye.
(upbeat music)