- We're gonna try on some thongs!
No, we're not trying on thongs.
No, well what are we doing?
(guitar music)
- [Keith] We're trying on European swimwear for men.
- I feel like there's gonna be...
Less fabric.
- On a scale of one to manscape,
did zero preparation today.
- This is made for a man
and it just just shows off more of the man.
- I'm excited.
- [Voiceover] This is cute.
- These are very short.
- Very thin fabric, feels nice.
- Look at this little anchor.
Look at me, I'm like a little sailor.
That's fun.
- Oh, my.
- There's always the bunching of my nuts.
- It's like it's giving me a wedgie,
and I think that's on purpose.
- This is gonna burst wide open.
(mimics explosion)
- This is the underwear I was wearing today.
It's just, like, ripping me a new one, here.
- I feel like when I bounce around,
my balls are just gonna schlep right out of the suit.
- Overall rating is a no.
- Flirty, fun.
Europe.
- Hello.
- Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi.
- Hopefully, it will cover my whole ass.
- This is a pocket, like you could keep your money
with your dick.
- Too much clothing, they don't have enough dick space.
Sometimes, you need dick space.
- Oh, no!
Oh, no!
- It looks like when you put your covers
over your dog.
- It's like somebody's holding it.
- Woop!
- This is unshowable.
- Yeah, look at that butt.
- Here he is.
- This is normally not seen by people.
- I like this.
This is great.
This is super revealing, like...
- It looks like a toucan.
- This doesn't feel like it would reduce drag
if I was doing freestyle.
- The separation from your body
allows for really nice swaying.
- This is, like, maybe the closest I've felt like
how a girl might feel, when it comes to,
here's a piece of clothing that's totally
gonna accentuate one area of your body.
'Cause my eyes go directly
to that action.
(laughs)
- [Keith] Speedo!
Whoa!
- You gave me one that's mesh.
You gave me a see-through banana hammock.
- Are you fucking serious right now?
- Oh, I see!
It's very tiny.
- Andrew Christian.
Nothing Christian about this outfit.
- This is like my dick is about to break into
someone's house and steal something.
(hums burlesque-like tune)
- It looks like I'm wearing a sock
on my dick and nothing else.
- That is obviously a penis and balls, isn't it?
Like, you can't, you can't get less penisy or ballsy.
- I don't get paid enough.
- How is nobody gonna chase you out with a broom
if you walk into a place like this.
- It's about this, my mind.
Not my dick pocket.
- But at least I don't have to be seen
in public like this, right?
(bright pop music)
- There's skin on me that has not
seen the sun in a long, long time.
- Well, who takes their thighs outside, really?
- The tightness allows you freedom, because
you know, that you're not gonna pop out.
- No, I think the tightness is just restricting my dick.
- It might be tight because you're dick might be huge.
- Yeah, maybe your dick too big.
- We all know that's not true.
- Do you sunscreen your inner thighs, ladies?
- I'm doing it.
- This is classic hot dog or legs.
- Just hanging out with my best buds,
and got my dicks out,
Eugene's hung over, and we're doing good.
How you doing, Eugene?
- [Eugene] I'm good.
- I do only have a half an hour before
I have to go on a date. - You know, Ned,
I'm starting to think you like hanging out with your wife
more than you like hanging out naked with us.
- I felt uncomfortable, very sexualized.
- [Eugene] I'm still really hungover right now,
so any sort of lack of sports ability I had today,
I'm going to blame on the alcohol.
I don't know what to do.
I'm in a speedo.
- You may not know, just like, from the fact
that we get naked all the time.
But I'm not the most secure about my body.
I have things about me I don't like.
- I felt uncomfortable when I would squat,
'cause I felt like, for sure this is becoming a thong.
- [Zach] So, what women get when they have
like a lot of cleavage, where like a guy walks by
and they go like down-up, oh oh, can't look,
and like you make eye contact with the cleavage
and then back up.
I was walking down the bike path and an old man
made eye contact with my dick and then went, "Dammit!"
- I think we should sort of realize
that culturally Speedos are the majority
of what men wear worldwide.
- That being said, we talk about our dicks a lot.
I can't stop, I mean I'm, like, trying to look at your face,
but I'm looking at your dick right now.
- [Man] Who's dick?
- Well, Keith's dick, 'cause he's more in my line of sight.
But your dick, I can, I've looked at it so many times today.
'Cause it's, the white makes it much more...
Revealing.