- Vintage American candy.
- Oh, very nice.
You look - you kind of have the aesthetic for it as well.
- Hello? Yes.
- Oh, yes.
- I come from the past.
(both laugh)
- We're doing American vintage candy.
- Yes.
- We're going back in time.
See, I have no idea.
Like all of their old stuff is still kind of around,
you know what I mean?
So I can't tell.
- I haven't tried much retro candy.
Em, I think I have one here as well
but wouldn't be high on my trying list.
- I hope they're weird.
I'm at this point where I'm like, yeah.
Make them weird. I don't care.
- See, I'm still like newish.
So I'm like, just keep them as low, low key as possible.
- Horehound?
- Hore?
- Don't call her that.
- Sorry. Are these genuinely called Horehound?
- I see a weed, but I know if you put a weed
in a piece of sweet wrappering, it is not gonna be good.
- No.
- It is an old fashioned looking olive green and - and pale.
You know what I mean?
- The packaging is lovely.
- How old fashioned are they?
They have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
- (laughs)
- I'm not expecting it's gonna be good.
- Does it just taste like a lot of sugar to you?
- They do not taste good.
- Just kind of tastes like plastics.
One of those boiled sweets where it's kind of
hard to get down there into the flavour.
- It's a nice flavour, but I dunno what it is.
- Yeah.
- I don't even know what it tastes like.
- I don't know what it tastes like either.
- It tastes weird.
- Like, my teeth are gonna break if I chew into this.
- You'll be there for ages to try and just wear it down.
- They're airplane sweets.
- I'm trying to get into it.
'Cause the outside ain't giving it to me.
Oh!
- Oh!
(laughing)
- Can we get a dentist up in here please?
- There's a familiar flavour that I don't like,
but I know what it is, but I can't think of it.
- It's actually better than I thought it was gonna be.
- There's like a slight minty-ness to it, but not enough.
- Like's it's barely there.
- It kind of tastes like root beer. I don't like root beer.
So that's probably why I don't like this.
- I just think it's a weed. Cause it looks like a weed.
- Is that a weed?
- These are old fashioned and they can stay
back in time.
- Not bad. I'd suck on thing all day long.
- Would ya?
- Yeah.
- You'd suck on the thing all day long thing all.
- Suck on the thing all day long
and happily enjoy it.
- It's peanut butter.
- Peanut butter!
- That's a surprise, all right.
- Peanut butter bars - also sugar free.
I'm loving the retro style of this.
- Do you like peanut butter?
- I don't mind it,
but I wouldn't be able to eat an actual spoon of it.
- Mm.
- That's way too much.
- Like on a scale of 'Dermot' to 'I like peanut butter'...
- Ehh, in the middle.
- Oh this looks like an old packet. Doesn't it?
- Yeah.
- It looks like a Toy Story - like a Woody-type thing.
- Like, There's actual peanuts in this as well.
Thank God we're not allergic.
- Oh.
(laughter) - D'ya not like it?
I like this.
- That was really easy to bite.
- Not for me.
- (laughs)
- I love this.
- It's like a little surprise.
- A candy coated peanut butter cup.
It was really good.
- Oh my God. That is impossible to eat.
- What is this? Mm.
- I thought it was gonna be like a horrible boiled sweet
but it's actually like a brittle.
- Mm.
- It's brittle.
- If it was up to me, now, it wouldn't be up my street.
Only if I was going up the road
and I had to pick a road. Ugh!
- It's like it's turning into actual peanut butter.
- I now have gum and chewy bits all over the gaff.
- This is my worst nightmare right now.
- It is a bit chewy, but it's like a million
times better than what I thought it was gonna be.
- Really stuck in my teeth though.
- That's what I mean, yeah.
- But tastes great.
- Mm. Extreme peanut butter flavour off it though.
- Extreme.
- If you were just sitting down in the back of church
or wherever you are, and you had one of these,
and someone looked at you
and they were like...
"Is that guy okay?"
- Yes!
- I love these. Especially the violet ones,
even though people think it tastes like soap.
- Smarties- wait. What?
- No, these aren't Smarties.
- These aren't Smarties.
- They're not Smarties.
Smarties are small little chocolate-
- Chocolate.
- Chocolate, with chocolate shell.
- I think we're both having the same thoughts.
Had these as children at birthday parties,
never knew what they were called.
- To be fair though,
our Smarties had to be taken off the shelf years ago.
'Cause the blue one had too much caffeine
and made children go ape-shit.
- There's such beautiful little colours.
I'm gonna take more multiple at once.
That's the way you're meant to eat them.
One shot it.
- 1, 2, 3.
- Oh my God. These are so good.
- Instantly, my saliva is just fruit flavoured.
- Well that's brilliant, oh my God.
- Fat free. Gluten free.
Oh, oh, sorry.
Peanut free.
Don't roll your at me, Colin, I didn't open this!
- Oh, fuck.
- What is it about this
that it really gets the juices flowing
in your mouth?
- Oh.
- Are these vintage?
- Very old fashioned sweet.
And they've been around for years.
Like my parents must have had
a version of these when they were kids.
- Reminds me of childhood birthday parties.
Even eating them all at once
- They're so chalky.
- I'm definitely gotten some kind of
sharp feeling in my mouth.
- I have like five fillings.
So there are all possibilities of this.
- They are like ding, ding, ding, ding.
- Body of Christ. Amen. Haha.
- Very good. Very, very sweetie.
Brings you back to the nineties.
- How did we get this far
without knowing these are called Smarties?
- They get a point for nostalgia.
- That's what I'm saying.
It's so vintage.
They made the most easiest product in the world.
It's still around in 2020.
- So this is Marshmallow Circus Peanuts.
- "The finest circus peanuts since 1940.
Try one and enjoy a taste of a true nostalgic candy."
- Oh, they're marshmallows.
- They are rock hard marshmallows.
- Oh wow. It looks like a brick.
- I thought they were gonna be squishier.
- Da da da da da.
- It is a creepy clown, yeah.
- I am over the moon about this.
I'm a kid and I have orange sweets in my hand.
Happy days!
- Is I feel like I'm back at the circus.
- We might wanna stop playing with your food.
- I know. They're just so squishy.
- Ah now, your nanny could chew on that.
- Oh yes.
- Oh yeah. I remember these.
- I love these types of candies.
- Do you like them?
- I love them.
- They're not for me, now.
- Where's the flavour?
- Wait for it.
- Where is the flavour?
- These are like, when you get something in the shop
and you're like, "Give me the rest in jellies."
- Do you know what, it tastes exactly like a banana.
- Exactly like the banana ones.
- There's foam bananas that are the exact same.
- I never would've described them as marshmallow.
I agree with you on that.
- Does look like a peanut-y thing.
- I'm not mad about them now.
There's something, there's something rank about them.
- You'd eat loads of them.
- Definitely make you get very sick if you ate-
- Yeah.
- -too much of these.
- It tastes full of sugar for me.
It's like a marshmallow-y sugary treat.
Give them to your kids all day long.
No complaints.
- Fun to play with though.
- Oh my God.
- The best to play with.
- I'd eat the whole bag of them though.
- Mm.
- Woah!
- Creepy clown's eye. Good.
- Is this another sucky sweet?
- Oh, it's dad's old fashioned root beer.
Dad, thank you.
- Hahahaha.
- Well.
- Ah, good old dad and his root beer.
- Go on, dad.
- Dad.
(cough)
Oh, sorry, that was a demon coming out of my throat.
- Look at the old fashioned stapled package.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
(laughter)
- I was like, how did you reseal it?
And then - turned wrong.
- It's shaped like a little barrel.
Like, that root beer comes in.
Mine's broken, but it was shaped like a root beer barrel.
- I've never had root beer.
- I'm more of, like, a Coca-Cola type girl.
- This smell like medicine.
- So these are from the thirties - 1937.
- Maybe they could be from the thirties.
- Yeah.
- This another one - you have to give it a few licks.
- You're not gonna like it.
I don't think
- No, I don't.
- I have not gonna chew it - this is big, yeah.
It looks smaller in the packet,
but it's huge in your mouth.
- It's our eyes are bigger than our mouth - my God.
- Root beer's always tasted like mouthwash to me.
- That's it. Mouthwash.
- It tastes more like dad's armpit.
- Yeah.
It tastes like if you sprayed Old Spice into your mouth.
- I think it's nice.
I love a hard boiled sweet, so.
- I'm not - I hate - this is not where I live.
- It's old.
This is what you think would be like an old sweet.
- Now it just tastes like licorice.
- It does taste very dad-ish.
- I've licked many a dad and they don't taste like this.
- (laughs)
- You could watch a whole movie in the cinema
and still be sucking on this by the time you were home.
This is huge.
- What I do like is that they correctly placed
their apostrophe on the bag.
Again, fun things that I know that are not useful.
- That's very useful.
- Every bit of taste is gone now because of the root beer.
- Yeah. It's obliterated my taste buds.
- Trip down memory lane for some.
- Yes.
- Trip to the Horehound for others.
- When you say candy, I was still expecting chocolate.
That was just candy.
- Mm. Yeah.
- Like sweets, you know?
- My God, my teeth are sticking together.
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