Do you feel depressed before stepping on a scale?
Are your rolls of fat making women run away from you in fear?
Does scrolling through your selfie-gallery make you think of Jabba the Hutt?
Or would you just like to see your turtle finally come out of the shell after being
hidden for years?
Then look no further!
Dr. Zeus has all the answers you need.
All you need do is buy my untested gluten-filled supplement Zeus-Lose-Fuse for the symbolic
monthly price of $420.69 and after the first pill you will lose up to 20% of body fat!
Haha ok ok, enough of the bullshit.
These tricks I’m about to break down for you will help your body’s appearance TEMPORARILY,
regardless if you’re fat or skinny or muscular.
They won’t suddenly turn you into a Greek God of aesthetics BUT they will make your
body look a lot better than it normally does.
So if you’re going on a date, to a party or whatever and want to feel just a little
bit more confident about your looks, definitely follow these tips.
Now, let’s stop wasting time.
Here are the tips:
#1: Carb load Carb loading is what athletes do all the time
for better endurance.
I won’t get too technical about this one, but carb loading is pretty much just eating
a fuckload of carbs before you need to perform at a high level.
Carbs get stored in your muscles and this causes your muscles to pull way more water
from your body than they normally would, so you will look even more inflated.
But you have to be hydrated for this to work, so definitely combine this tip with the tip
I’ll talk about later in the video.
#2: Use coconut oil This works even better when you already have
a tan.
Rubbing coconut oil on your body makes your skin glow and the effect is that you look
bigger and more defined.
You know when girls do their make-up and draw contours and highlights on their face?
They are trying to imitate the same effect you get from having a tan and shiny skin,
but this is even better, because you don’t have to be precise.
You just rub coconut oil all over your body and let the lighting do the rest of the work.
Also, coconut oil is really healthy and good for your skin, so you should definitely put
it on your body every once in a while, even if you aren’t trying to look better.
But watch out, it takes your skin a long time to absorb the oil, so you should wait before
putting on any clothes or you will stain them.
I warned you.
If you stain your clothes, don’t DM the pictures!
I won’t pay for it!
#3: Take a cold shower This is another good tip for making your muscles
look more defined.
You know that feeling when you go skinny-dipping in cold water, come out and your balls look
like peanuts?
That’s because your body wants to keep in as much heat as possible, so your skin tightens.
Well, your body doesn’t do this only for your balls, but for the rest of your body
as well.
So if you take a cold shower, your skin will tighten up and give your muscles insane definition.
These effects don’t last very long, so you should probably do it as late as you can before
leaving your house.
Also, take as cold of a shower as you can handle to maximize the effects.
#4 Take care of your face.
Your face is the first part of your body that people will see, so you better make sure that
shit is glowing and free of acne.
To get that nice glow, your face needs to be clean and smooth.
To achieve this, you should opt for a Face Wash and Exfoliating Scrub, both of which
will cleanse your pores and make your face fresh.
But it doesn’t end there, you also want to make sure you’re using a face cream and
acne cream to make sure you’re preventing blemishes and keeping your skin soft and smooth.
And guess what, you can get ALL of those things from our partner, Tiege Mothafuckin Hanley.
Ok well maybe their company isn’t called Tiege Mothafuckin Hanley, it’s not like
you’re gonna see Tiege Mothafuckin Hanley on the bottle, but you get the point.
These products are a crucial part of making your face look 10 times better than all the
other guys.
The AM moisturizer has an SPF of 20 to protect your skin from sun damage and make sure it’s
soft as fuck.
And most importantly, their acne moisturizer uses salicylic acid to prevent and get rid
of breakouts.
So your face will be pimple free.
I use Tiege Hanley religiously every morning and look how godly it’s made my face look.
If you wanna check them out, and get their Acne system, I’ll leave them linked below
with a sweet discount.
#5: Get a pump This is the most obvious tip, but it wouldn’t
feel right not mentioning it, so yeah – GET A FUCKING PUMP BRO.
When you work out, blood rushes to your muscles and makes them bigger.
It’s the same effect that turns your dick from an overcooked noodle to a sturdy cucumber,
when you’re scrolling through your crush’s IG.
You can take this tip as far as you want to.
If you want just a little pump for a short while, doing a bunch of push-ups is enough,
but if you want to maximize the effects, you should do a full work-out and you will be
pumped as fuck for a few hours.
In fact, models and athletes do this ALL the time before photoshoots, in order to make
themselves look more muscular and jacked.
Even doing some pushups and situps before going somewhere can help give your muscles
that cut, muscular look that’ll make ALL the girls wet.
#6: Drink a lot of water Staying hydrated is extremely important for
your health, but it’s also important for your looks, especially the muscles.
Your muscles are like 80% water and when you don’t drink enough water, you will look
like a dried-out fruit.
When you’re dehydrated and you re-hydrate yourself, all that water will rush to your
muscles and inflate them again, so you will look a like a fucking beast again.
#7: Get a spray tan or use a bronzer lotion.
Seriously.
Everybody looks better with a tan.
Tanning does so much to your body that it doesn’t make any sense not to get a tan.
Tanning helps hide your blemishes, marks and moles.
But most importantly, having a darker shade of skin makes your body look defined as fuck.
It’s crazy.
Why do you think all body-builders go on stage so tanned?
Just look at this picture.
Here you can see the body-builder Jay Cutler during Mr. Olympia.
You can tell that this guy spent too much time on working out and neglected sunbathing,
which made him lose this competition.
If this isn’t scientific evidence that you just need to get a tan, I don’t know what
is.
Disclaimer: You don’t want to spend a lot of time out in the sun just to get a tan because
the sun’s ray can be damaging and potentially lead to skin cancer.
This is why I recommend using a bronzer lotion or spray tans because they don’t damage
your skin with UV rays.
Disclaimer #2: Don’t get one of those Jersey Shore bullshit tans that make you look like
an orange dorito, just a slightly darker shade will make your skin and body look better overall.
And that’s it.
In summary:
Use tanning lotion Use coconut oil
Take cold showers Take care of your face
Get a pump Drink a lot of water
And carb load
I hope these tips will help you secure that vag.
If you decide to try these tips out, send me a DM on Instagram and let me know how it
worked for you.
And don’t forget to check out our sponsor Tiege Hanley to make sure your face is looking
and feeling epic.
I’ll have a link and discount code in the description below.