Have you ever told yourself that you're not worthy or you're not good
enough, and you have this negative voice just banging around in your head telling you these
things?
Well, we're going to cover how to actually beat the negative self-talk and turn it into
one that's actually going to empower you.
So if that interests you, then let's go.
It's very important that we monitor our self-talk, and if you've got negative
self-talk, whether it's about a relationship, whether it's about you as a person, whether
it's about your job, whatever it might be, we need to ensure that we're talking to ourself
in the right way and we're not in effect bullying ourselves out of doing things.
So there's a three-step process, and that's what we're going to cover in this video.
Now, it can apply, as I said, to many different areas of your life, but
let's just take this example.
Imagine this, you're an office worker, you've been there for a few years, you've got some
really good experience built up, and you're really quite good at your job.
Now, you're sitting at your desk and an email pops up in your inbox, and it's about a new
job.
You read through the email and it starts to excite you because it is a natural progression
for you, you have been here for a few years, and you have "earned your stripes" so to speak,
so you're getting quite excited about the job.
Then you head to the kitchen and you get yourself a glass of water, you
get your food out of the fridge and you're preparing your lunch, and you proceed to go
sit down at a table and start eating your lunch.
Then a work colleague comes up to you and says, "Hey, how about that new job coming
up?
Geez, that's a good one, I bet you a lot of people are going to go for that."
Then this triggers a thought in your mind, "Oh, well hang on a second, there's a lot
of people going for this?"
And then your mind starts to think about all the different people that will be going for
the job, and how good they are and all their best attributes, and then you start thinking
about all the bad attributes of yourself.
So has this every been you?
Now, it might not be in the exact example I gave you, but have you ever talked to yourself
like that negatively, where you talk yourself down, or you say that you're not good enough?
Or it might be in a relationship, for example, or it might be that you don't end up getting
into a relationship or approaching that person.
It could be that quite simply you tell yourself, "You're never going to be good enough to get
anywhere.
You're never going to be successful.
You're never going to get that wealth or richness that you're after."
It could be so many things, but the point is there's that negative voice
telling you in any area of your life.
So if you do have that, well, let's go through this three-step process, and this is going
to be able to help you overcome that.
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The first step is to be aware.
We want to expose the negative self-talk where it lurks in the shadows in your mind, because
once you start talking to yourself, it then gets ingrained into your subconscious, and
it'll go to work in there while you're not actually thinking about it, or you'll become
consumed by the thought, and your mind will travel into all these images of the negativity.
For me, I get up, and I'll sit down, and I'll find a quiet place in the
house, just sit on the couch.
Then I'll let my mind think about the negative things, but I take it from a conscious standpoint.
So I'm observing my thoughts.
Allow the thoughts to come.
Don't resist them, don't try and hide or run away from them.
Just allow them to come.
You want to grab them out of your subconscious, or you want to grab them into the spotlight.
Then write all the negative talk down so I'm aware of all the shit and
crap that's going inside my head on paper.
Because remember, what we feed our mind will produce an emotion and a feeling, and then
how we feel will depict how we're going to act.
So we need to get to the root to the actual negative self-talk and rip it out and observe
it.
Now we've got our list of our negative self-talk.
Next, we want to replace the negative self-talk.
Number two is replace the negative self-talk.
Pretend that your friend or family member is coming to you with these very problems
or negativity that you have yourself, and then you switch roles.
So you're going to be telling them what you would tell them.
How would you tell them to be more positive, or what other solutions or thoughts would
you give them to help them so they're not suffering?
We'll call them Fred, okay, for this example.
So Fred comes up to Scott, comes up to me and says, "Scott, I'm not good enough for
this role.
Have you heard Jim's going to be going for this role as well, Scott?
There's no chance I'm going to get this role.
Yeah, okay, I've been here for a few years, but now there's going to be three, four, five
other people going for it, and what if I go in the interview and then I stuff up the interview?
I mess it up, and then it gets out, and then everyone starts going off on me?
What am I bloody doing?
I'm going to be stuck in this job forever, in this role, hopeless, pathetic, worthless."
I say to Fred, "Look, mate, you're amazing.
You've been in this job for a couple years now, okay.
You've got all the experience.
Actually when you read through all the points in the email, it's every single that you've
been doing.
It's a natural progression for you."
I then tell Fred to write down 10, 12, 14, 15, as many as you can think of positive reasons
of why you will get the job, and focus on those things and pour your energy into those
things.
Number three: reaffirm the positive talk advice.
Now, this is where we really hit it home.
Every morning we look at the negative self-talk points that we had, and what we're going to
do is weaken those foundations.
We're going to destroy the foundations, and what we're going to do is we're going to hit
that with the positive talk.
With each positive talk, we're going to smash it, and we're going to overcome each one.
That is our logic, that is our reason, that is our new perspective.
And that will build that confidence, that will build that power to smash it down.
Now, what you need to do is you need to get up every morning and you need
to work on that and be hitting that.
And what else I would do is write it down or put it in your phone as your screensaver,
or put it in your notes, or have it on your desktop.
Have it somewhere in your purse or your wallet or whatever you carry.
Have it with you so you can refer to it.
So if you go for a toilet break during the day, grab out your phone and read the notes.
Read the positive self-talk.
Be onto it.
Smash it down, knock at its foundation.
Depending on how much of an issue this is for you, you really want to
go to town on these negative self-talks.
It is a war.
You're going to take it down, and you're going to hit it with all this positive new perspective
just like you would if someone was coming to you, that other person coming to you, a
loved one, a brother, a family member, best friend, whoever it is, and they're coming
to you with these problems.
You know that's just being hurtful to themselves, that's not giving any self-love to themselves,
and you would give them that positive advice.
So you're doing the same, but you've got to be on it because when it's
yourself, as I said earlier, you can get trapped.
It can hide in its shadows.
That negative self-talk can just hide, and it'll [inaudible] when you're not thinking.
Then you get caught in thought, and you're thinking about that negative thing.
So you've got to stop that.
Rip it out, get it into the spotlight, and we're going to be replacing it, and we're
going to be smashing it.
So what we're uploading into our brain now is the positive thoughts.
We are rewiring that memory.
We are rewiring that perspective.
So we've got to just keep being persistent.
What happens when you keep the persistence of that thought going into
your mind, your mind is now going to realize that, "Oh, hang on a second.
This is something I need to pay attention to.
This is obviously the thought."
So it will then be repeating that thought, okay.
Then you will be obsessing.
If you're obsessing over the new positive perspective, okay, that will then become the
new reality.
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That's it for this video, and I will catch you in the next one.