WIL WHEATON: Hello, internet.
Let's address the elephant in the room.
I just got out of bed and have not really had a chance to put
myself together.
But I wanted you to know that there is a gag reel this week
for "Dragon Age RPG," and it is hilarious.
We shot close to six hours of gameplay footage and had to
edit it down to about an hour total,
split over two episodes.
And most of what you're going to see in this is just how
much fun we were having in scenes that just had to be cut
out for time.
Finally before I leave, I want to show you something.
This is my daily "Star Trek," "Doctor Who" crossover.
Until next time, play more games.
For the rest of my childhood--
[MUMBLE]
I'm having a stroke.
I've asked my friends Chris Hardwick, Kevin Sussman, some
other friends, and Joey Jojo Junior Shabbadoo.
No, I got it, I just--
I had a fart in my mouth.
To play [BLEEP]
balls.
I'm the champion of [BLEEP]
balls.
Congratulations, where's my [BLEEP]
balls trophy?
Get card board me and the [BLEEP]
balls trophy.
I want that right now.
Mama's got a sparkle.
We're playing "Dragon Age." That sucked.
No, no, it sucked, and not in the good way.
Sorry, I kinda crushed my nuts-- my nuts, my
balls, my man bits.
-That dick and ball game?
WIL WHEATON: Turns out I'm playing dick and balls.
This is an example of a classic pen and [MUMBLE]
that lets players explore the world of Ferelden from--
I touched it.
We can cut to it.
I touched it.
But that's--
I can, we can.
This is a classic pen and paper [BLEEP]
that lets players explore and hold off the blight.
That's not right.
We are gray wardens, exploring the world, exploring the
world, exploring the world. "Tabletop."
We get to do something really cool, called a stunt.
The stunt points we get are [BLEEP]
your mom.
So deal with it.
If we roll doubles--
really, Wil?
Really?
That lets players explore the land of--
I rolled doubles everybody.
What the [BLEEP]?
CHRIS HARDWICK: Fonzor does not panic.
He's cool.
WIL WHEATON: Cut to Fonzie.
[SCREAMS]
CHRIS HARDWICK: Jesus Christ, what the [BLEEP]
is happening?
I didn't [BLEEP]
know it was going belch out of the Earth.
WIL WHEATON: I thought Darkspawn was
just a cover name.
I didn't know that's what it actually was.
CHRIS HARDWICK: I thought it was just a--
WIL WHEATON: A guy with a mask.
CHRIS HARDWICK: A sadistic motorcycle gang.
I didn't know that it was--
WIL WHEATON: Actual demons.
CHRIS HARDWICK: Jesus Christ.
What did I just get myself into?
WIL WHEATON: This is bad, man, this really bad.
CHRIS PRAMAS: Very good.
WIL WHEATON: So Gorick unrolls his pack, and he brushes out
his beard--
99 strokes on his beard.
CHRIS PRAMAS: I was going to ask how many times.
WIL WHEATON: Yep, 99 strokes on his beard.
CHRIS PRAMAS: If you were getting a hint of something
else that you have never smelled before.
CHRIS HARDWICK: [BLEEP]
[LAUGHTER]
SAM WITWER: Can your nose smell victory?
And also, what does it smell like?
And does it smell like napalm?
WIL WHEATON: Oh, so since we're in "Dragon Age," we are
all covered in blood now, right.
CHRIS PRAMAS: Oh, are you kidding?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I mean, just soaked through,
everywhere.
KEVIN SUSSMAN: It smells.
It reeks.
SAM WITWER: He's like, guys, you have no idea how this
smells, just saying.
WIL WHEATON: Are there any copies of "Playdwarf" at the
general store?
I'm just sort, what I'm doing is--
CHRIS HARDWICK: The centerfold is just a regular-sized page.
[LAUGHTER]
CHRIS PRAMAS: Yes, there's a special "Bearded Dwarf Women--
Myth or Reality?"
WIL WHEATON: OK, so when they're not looking, I just
sort of put them in my bag, and I'm all, this will serve
Gorick well when Gorick makes camp.
CHRIS HARDWICK: Look at thine lower beard.
[LAUGHTER]
WIL WHEATON: A rogue comet passes between the
Earth and the Moon.
CHRIS PRAMAS: All right, I miss you.
WIL WHEATON: [SCREAMING]
CHRIS HARDWICK: [SQUAWKING]
WIL WHEATON: Lords of light.
Somebody fly me in just some tiny little
piece of food thing.
I forgot to eat when we did OTFs.
CHRIS HARDWICK: [LAUGH]
CHRIS PRAMAS: That is literally what you asked for.
KEVIN SUSSMAN: There you go.
WIL WHEATON: Just think about that.
Think about it long and hard, internet.