- Pat was a kid who needed constant attention.
His psychiatrist referred to him as a middle child
and straight up annoying.
- Even when Pat was cast as tree number two
in our third grade production of Annie,
he refused to accept the fact that
he didn't have a speaking role or a name
or any part at all.
♪ Pocket full of ro- ♪ - Ahh!
- Pat wasn't even a good actor.
He was just loud.
I guess that is what TikTok was made for.
♪ where the party at ♪
- To bother people on escalators.
- Even when Pat's not posting pranks to
his 342 TikTok followers,
he's still committed to his brand,
which just means he's annoying the shit out of people.
This is his voicemail.
(phone rings)
- [Pat] Hello?
Hey, what's up, man?
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm not even here right now.
Leave a message.
- That joke wasn't even funny in 2003.
- Pat and I have a pretty toxic relationship
which is great for TikTok,
but not so much my mental health.
We even got married last year
and I didn't find out until after
that the license was fake.
My dad spent $150,000 on that wedding.
- I would say Pat's gonna hurt someone.
But after the trip your dad down the stairs challenge,
I think he already has.
- (unintelligible)
(dramatic music)
- Aw yeah, so make sure y'all like, comment,
and subscribe because later today
I'm gonna trick my mom into kissing my dog.
All tongue baby, all tongue.
What's up, y'all?
- Since, when do you have a dog?
- And when did we get a mom?
- Oh, I'm renting them both right now.
- Pat is clearly sick.
You're sick, man.
- Yeah and the video's also going to be ill, bro!
- And that's why I'm here for this intervention
because, well, I'm an actor so I'm pretty free.
But I'm also trying to become more vulnerable as an actor.
So I'm here to help.
(tragic music)
That was good, right? (dramatic music)
- We're all here because
this is an intervention
for your nonstop pranking.
- It'd be one thing if the pranks were funny,
but they're not.
They're just hurtful and expensive for my dad.
- You're still mad about the wedding.
- Yes!
- I thought faking your pregnancy test
would help you move on.
- Move on? To what, more trauma?
- Exactly.
- God, you're pathetic.
Kenneth, go ahead.
- Pat. - Yep.
- We've been scene partners since the second grade
and I admire your dedication to performing
but ever since vine came out in 2013,
your transition to full-time prankster,
it has torn us apart, man.
- Dude, your acting's just not that good.
- Dammit, I didn't have enough time to rehearse!
Can I try again?
Can I do it again?
- No, no.
- Absolutely not.
- That was bad.
(dramatic music)
What's that dad?
You said your dick is huge.
I agree.
- Shut up! Shut up!
No one has a huge two dimensional dick.
- Dad does.
You're right.
I'm sorry dad.
But he's the only person
or the only person I know personally,
that I hurt physically.
- How about last Thanksgiving?
When you decided to stick your dick
in the pumpkin pie and give everyone chlamydia.
- Grandma lost her vision.
- She had bad eyesight anyway.
And technically, it wasn't my fault.
- Sorry for fucking a cruise director on our honeymoon
that you bailed on.
I spent my entire savings on that trip.
- Wow, that is a pretty pathetic story all around.
- Says the guy who makes a living doing dinner theater.
- You only work at Target
because you spent so much time there
pranking their customers,
you somehow got on their payroll.
- At least I make a living doing what I love.
- Oh, so you don't love me,
but you love waiting in a beer fridge
to pop up and scare people?
- Exactly. - Oh!
- I don't know what you saying, bro, but it's hilarious.
You wanna collab later?
- No! No, Pat, no one wants to collab with you.
- You're just jealous of my almost 1K follows.
- I'm perfectly fine with my 401k, thanks.
- Wait, you got 401k?
On what platform?
- Do you seriously not hear yourself being a loser?
You know when I go out with dudes,
I tell them I have one brother, Dex.
- Well, technically we ain't even biological siblings.
- What? - Gotcha!
See, pranking's fun.
- What's the prank? Exciting me for two seconds.
- You need help, bro.
You live in this shitty van,
making fake bomb threats to gain clout.
It's no way to live.
- It's a land yacht.
And you know what,
prank is where it's at?
One day, all of y'all going to be thanking me
when I'm making bank like all the top prankers in the game.
- Name three.
- Impractical Jokers.
- Those are failed standup comics.
- Jackass.
- Those are drug addicts.
- Some would say the same about Lance Armstrong.
- No, they wouldn't.
- Yes, they would.
- No, they wouldn't!
- Enough of this bullshit quizzing.
We know you wouldn't listen to us,
so we hired the only person who could get through to you.
- And who is that?
- You can come out now.
- Yeah. (rock music)
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm Ashton Kutcher.
I had a lot of work done but this could be you.
- Prove it.
- Thought you might say that. Boys!
(techno music)
You've been punked! - Hell yeah.
So where's the real dad?
- He still hasn't woken up from the coma.
- Nice.
- Wait you put him in the coma or?
- Yeah, man. He'll be fine.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Anyway, your kind family sent us an audition tape
for the reboot of the reboot of Punk'D.
And I want you
to be my protege.
- You serious?
That's crazy. I'll do anything,
even if it's dangerous or illegal
or put a loved one in danger.
- Great. - What? Hey!
- Obviously, not you baby.
- I'm downloading Tinder.
- Anyway, check this out.
Our next prank gonna be sick.
Ready? Woo!
- Okay. - It's gonna be
at a mental health clinic.
- I like that.
- Just gonna check you in so it seems legit,
but don't worry about fooling anyone because
we're going up,
everything you've said today is perfect.
(upbeat music)
- Fucking love that guy.
That's right, bitches.
Next time you see me,
I'll be on the big screen.
Later losers.
(upbeat music continues)
(sirens blare) (machine beeps)
So I've been here for about two months
and I haven't done too much pranking because
they took my props
and moved me to the confinement wing.
But my therapist said I'm making a lot of progress.
And once Ashton comes in and gimme the cue,
it's gonna be epic.
I know he's coming.
He'll be here.
He's coming.
He'll be here.
Yo, he's coming.
(dramatic music)
Yo, make sure you like, comment, subscribe,
hit the bell, send out the canaries,
whatever it is that you do to make sure you follow somebody
as long as you're not stalking them, do that.