A lesbian couple in New Jersey is fighting for custody of their own child after both
sperm donors for both children that they had are asking to have visitation rights with
the children now this is an interesting story Sheena and Tiara Yates are dealing with both
sperm donors who all of a sudden decided to breach their contract and ask for visitation
rights with the children that they had no according to a report the Yates family lost
the first custody case and the donor now has visitation time with the older child a court
ruling the couple decided not to dispute so they're like alright fine it is what it is
we're going to deal with it the same thing happened with the second suit back in September
after a Salem country Superior Court ruled in the favor of the donor Shawn Sorrell his
parenting time begins a few hours each weekend in addition to paying $83 in child support
so that's that's what happened with that situation now why is this allowed to happen it turns
that they did artificial insemination at home why a physician basically monitoring the procedure
the physician didn't do the procedure under the laws in New Jersey in order for that contract
to be valid the contract stating that the two donors will have nothing to do with the
children they have to do the artificial insemination in a hospital which is absolutely absurd like
why does it matter where you do it right if they do it at home it has to be administered
by the physician and apparently that's not what happened in this case the law is stupid
and nonetheless both donors agreed in the contract that they would want nothing to do
with the children and then all of a sudden they decided no we want visitation rights
right and that makes the life of these women a lot more difficult cause they don't want
anything to do with the donors so these are all difficult situations when you talk about
sperm donors and for a lot of us I think our gut reaction is you have to respect the contract
the original contract because changing your mind on a thing like this is not a little
thing I mean it effects the lives of all these people very very dramatically and we had an
agreement right going back on that agreement is grating to say the least now the flip to
that and why it gets to be such a complicated issue is that people also have a natural of
like but that's my kid so yeah in that moment I sign that contract and you're right right
but now for the rest of my life I can't see my kid I see him he looks like me that's my
kid right and so they have paternal instinct there which is in some laudable we have lots
of instincts right that we want to act on but we have to control ourselves yeah so in
this case as a donor you went into it knowing what you were doing you signed a contract
and I think regardless of what the state law is about where the artificial insemination
was done you should respect the contract and respect the lives of these people who want
to have a normal family without the interference of our ass yeah so I can which direction you're
going so ultimately don't get me wrong I totally agree with you because sometimes rush into
things this is not a thing to rush into exactly this is a lifelong decision and you should
have taken it serious and if you didn't take it seriously it's your fault right now they
asked you cause they didn't want you in their lives cause that wasn't the deal right if
they had wanted that deal they could have made that deal but they didn't right so now
to go back on that and say no I'm going to intrude on your life for the rest of your
life I'm going to come in you guys are having a picnic no I'm taking the kids that weekend
right you're going on a vacation no you're not you want to celebrate Christmas together
no you're not I got the kids that weekend but that's what we agreed to and what they're
doing is not only screwing over the women this case but also setting a terrible precedent
that's going to make these guys of you know deals less likely going forward then people
are going to have less kids they're going to have less loving families to raise those
kids in etcetera by the people that will be effected by this are actually working class
and middle class families you know why because if you need artificial insemination it's actually
a lot more expensive to get it done by a physician in a hospital which is what a lot of people
resort to doing it at home getting sperm donations is expensive doing the artificial insemination
is expense the hospital fees are expensive so if you can't get pregnant if you're a lesbian
couple sorry you know if you can't afford it you can't afford you you can't have the
kid turkey baster cheaper do they really do it with a turkey based I have no idea neither
do I right