- Hey guys, it's Hadar
and this is the Accent's Way.
Today, I want to talk to you about
the power of communication.
And why it is so important to speak up
and express your opinion and thoughts,
even if you're making mistakes.
Even if you're not perfect.
As non-native speakers,
we are always afraid to speak and make mistakes.
We are afraid that whatever we're gonna say
is not gonna be right,
it's not gonna be perfect,
it's not gonna sound great,
and people are going to judge us.
These are the things
that go through our minds every time we speak.
Sometimes it's on the back-burner
and the need to communicate is stronger
than the need to get it always right.
But sometimes, the need to be perfect,
the fear of making mistakes is stronger
and then it prevents you from communicating.
I want to read to you a line
from a letter I received from one of my followers.
"My problem is that I'm very shy
and if I cannot do something perfect,
it feels like a failure."
So Rika, this is my answer to you
and to all of you who suffer
from the 'being-perfect illness'.
So, the first thing is perfection is overrated.
Sometimes, people don't even notice your mistakes.
Sometimes, native speakers make mistakes as well
because that's just how they speak.
Well, you know what, that's just how we,
non-natives speakers, speak.
With slight grammar mistakes here and there
and that's okay.
Or even bigger grammar mistakes.
The most important thing is to speak,
is to communicate.
Now, I want you to visualize this.
Think of this idea of perfection,
of perfection as your worst enemy,
as your biggest competitor,
as your nemesis, who is standing there around
the corner just waiting, waiting for you to fail.
Because every time you feed that monster,
every time you decide not to speak,
not to express your thoughts
because it's not fully articulated.
Because every time you say no
to an interview, or a job offer,
or an invitation, because it requires English,
and you are just not sure if your English is good enough
or you're just afraid to speak,
then you're biggest enemy is winning,
and you are losing.
This is failure.
Not trying to say something and making a mistake.
Not saying something and getting stuck.
That's not failing, that's just practicing,
that's just living.
Even native speakers make mistakes, okay.
And then it's okay,
because that's your native tongue.
Stop being so judgemental, let go,
lose this idea of perfection,
stop feeding the monster
because then you are the only person who
is going to pay the price.
Let's say you're in a meeting
and you're sitting there
and you have something to say
but you don't say it
because there is a word in it
that has an R and you're not sure how to say it.
Or you know how to start
but you are not sure how to finish
and you keep quiet.
What's gonna happen?
Who's losing from this situation?
You are.
Who's winning?
Everyone else.
Their shining, their expressing their thoughts,
their advancing.
If you don't speak up, if you don't speak out your thoughts,
your opinions, your heart,
then you'll stay behind.
Now look, I'm a non-native speaker
and I know what it's like.
I judge myself all the time.
I always listen to myself from the outside
and I'm like, Mm, you made a mistake here,
Mm, that wasn't good enough.
But had I let this affect me and control me,
I would've never made so many videos teaching you.
I would've never had a YouTube channel.
I would've never succeeded as a speech coach,
as an English coach
because I don't care about that.
I don't care about the mistakes I make.
I mean, sometimes I get a comment
and I get offended a little bit,
and I was like, I get all defensive,
but that lasts, I don't know, two seconds,
and then I'm like F that, I don't care.
Like, the large majority of my students
and my followers appreciate what I have to say
and they respect me
and that's what matters.
And it's the same thing for you.
People are more interested in what you have to say
than in the mistakes that you're making.
And if you come across a person who makes fun of you,
who is judging you, who keeps pointing out
at all your mistakes,
then maybe that person shouldn't be around you.
Maybe they're not a good friend.
So think about it.
Choose the people who you surround yourself with.
You only want people who support you,
who empower you and who encourage you.
So, Rika and all of you friends,
let's take action.
This week I want you to observe yourself
and every time you find
a situation where you're about to speak
but you hold yourself back,
or when you're about to say,
no, I'm not gonna do that
because you're afraid of speaking,
then I want you to say, yes.
Yes, to communication,
no, to perfection.
No, to being afraid.
No, to hiding.
And when that happens, I want you to share it with us.
So I want you to post on Instagram what happened,
what you did, how you overcame the fear
and I want you to hashtag it, #CommunicationOverPerfection.
And tag me as well at accentswaybyhadar.
'Cause I want to make sure I see it
and I'll feature it in my Instagram stories.
Okay, that's it.
I hope this was helpful.
Please share it with your friends
and your family who are also non-native speakers
and might prefer perfection over communication.
So we need to change it up.
Communication over perfection.
Thank you so much for watching,
don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel,
and I will see you next week
in the next video.
Bye.