We all remember feeling a sense of
sepparation anxiety when we were kids. Whether it would be
your parents dropping you off at school
or having your favorite stuffed animal taken away from you.
We only got a sense of relief when the person
or thing that was taken away is brought back. This
is the beginning of attachment theory. The sepparation
anxiety can continue into adulthood
like when you get anxious about having your cell phone taken away.
But why do humans behave like this?
Psychologists have labeled the reason behind these
early childhood anxieties as attachment
and have explored human connection through parent - child bonding.
Daniel Goleman states that attachment provides the
glue that keeps not just a couple but a family
together and caregiving as the impulse to look
after offspring so our children can grow up to
have their own. The early stages of childhood
are the most crucial in development.
This time in a child's life is when they have experiences
that shape how we relate to other people.
Having a healthy relationship with the child's parents
is key in his development.
It is hard in some families though for the child to
get a sense of attachment to their mother. There are a few
reasons for this: sometimes the mother has Post Partum
Depression and withdrawals from the baby or
there's a lack of resources that makes the family
less ready to focus on building an attachment.
A study done by Mary Ainsworth called ''Strange
Situations'' in which she put a parent
and a child between the ages of 9 to 18 months
in a room.
She would then bring in a stranger.
While the child was preoccupied with the stranger
the parent would leave. Afterwards the child would
react to the missing parent and said parent would come back.
Ainsworth hiked 3 types of attachement -
secure, anxious-avoidant attachment
and anxious-ambivalent attachment.
A fourth type of attachment was introduced later on
by Ainswroth's colleague Mary Main.
She brought on the disorganized, disoriented
attachment. This is when
a child avoids their parent or caregiver but is
also clingy. When the parent or caregiver leaves
and comes back the child looks dazed and disoriented.
Our attachment style with our parents
or caregivers growing up plays a huge
role in how we live our lives today. What do you
think your attachment style is? Don't forget to like
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