Are you the most persuasive person that you know? If not, why aren't you think of
the most persuasive person you know why are they persuasive most people have no
idea what's involved in being able to leave someone from one train of thought
to another or being persuasive and today I'm going to go over one tip technique
and trick that Blaise Pascal the French philosopher came up with that's going to
help you immediately be more persuasive by sneaking in the back door now if
you're in a big hurry I just want to let you know at the end of this video I'm
going to give away a free vocal tonality spreadsheet that you can use before a
first date or big interview or big event that you have to be sure that your voice
is all dialed in it's a big component of persuasion so you can grab that here if
you're in a hurry or hear more about it towards the end of the video so what
Pascal said is you want to take a counterintuitive move so what would you
try to do if you're trying to convince someone of something that's different
than what they believe you believe something else what are you going to do
well 99 percent of people are going to present the logical facts about why
they're right and why the other person is wrong the problem is those facts are
completely blurred and distorted do the other person's ego see nobody wants to
be wrong I've always shots what I see so many different arguments just taking
place so they'll be at work or socially and the people aren't even arguing sides
they don't care what's true and what is it they just want to be right they'd
rather state a false fact that the other person would believe them that they're
right and win the argument that actually get to the truth that's because the egos
are battling and we don't want to feel foolish by admitting out maybe I wasn't
ready you were right I was wrong it hard on ego to do that and most people don't
have the confidence to actually be able to step in and be like you to what I've
been wrong about that for five years that's awesome thanks for bringing that
to the surface that's the way truly confident people react but 99 percent of
people don't have that rock solid level of confidence so how are we persuasive
to them we come in the back door by starting with agreeing with them
I know it's time super weird they believe something that's wrong something
is different than you believe in you're going to voice you actually agree with
what they're thinking so let's say for instance you're talking about something
somewhat subjective so let's say you're talking about which city is better to
live in and you're arguing Dallas Texas and they're arguing Chicago so supposed
to saying Chicago is so cold the winter it's so much nicer and Dallas all year
round you're going to say you know I actually have been out in in in Chicago
and that Hubbard Street man that's a lot of fun so you're going to start out by
empathizing with them putting yourself in their camp because now you're looking
at something together you're a team looking at it as opposed to you versus
them if you say you know I do have a lot of fun i go to Chicago but I look at it
from a different perspective have you ever considered this and by doing this
what you're doing is you are convincing them that they were wrong but merely
they weren't looking at the whole picture maybe they didn't have as much
information or that as much data as you did so therefore the ego saying I was
wrong I just didn't have access to all the information as this person did much
easier to swallow so you want to convince people that first your other
side you understand how they could think about it that way and then show them new
information additional information it even walked them through verbally say
you know but the one thing I to thicken by the way you were and then I found out
that this but then I was really actually saw an article and it felt this out now
I was like whoa horse then they'll buy into it with you now let's look at
another little example let's look at something that's much more difficult
than whether a city is better than the other which is very subjective let's
look at if you say 2+2 is 4 and they say two plus two is three how do you apply
this we apply the exact same way so what you might say is you know it's like it's
not even about stating facts or right it's about being empathetic so you could
even start out by saying you know I know I
see those two there is a three in the way they're coming together it could be
coming but the thing is the thing that I saw was that when you actually set them
apart and you can see to appear the distance of foot between and to hear you
can actually count 1 2 3 4 the important thing is you're not asking them to admit
that they were wrong you're helping them find a reason why they didn't see it in
the same big pictures because you know I see how those are kind of clumped over
that could kind of seemed like it would be a one two and then three right there
but let me tell you the way that I was taught to look at it just recently it's
really cool you separate them apart and then you can clearly see one two three
four so I'm gonna be something you want to look at you're not forcing them to
swallow the huge hit to their ego by being like oh of course there's four
there two plus two is four I see it I was wrong how can I be so stupid now
they're staying in their head now I fine I'm smite there was three there they're
bunched up I just kind of didn't realize we need to set them apart to see that
your number you're helping them be comfortable in the face of what could be
embarrassing you know I always talk about different applications how
charismatic people help people be comfortable situations where they
normally would feel stressed feel out of place would not have situational
confidence and you give them that boost by acting in certain ways by couching
them and helping them with their in situations like this and doing that so
that's the back door technique now another thing that's very important when
you're convincing someone is the way that you come across and the way that
you sound do you sound believable do you sound like someone who's confident that
the right I love this clip of the show Westeros I'll I sure if you've seen it
here I'll cut to it right now what if I chose you found here as heavy
cream but simply by using the correct tone of voice and strength of voice you
sound so much more believable like so much more of a leader and I've actually
got a free tonality checklist that you can grab by clicking right here it
should pop out here above my head and you can go through that before you have
a date or a big interview or anything that's important and it's going to allow
you to remember things that are important to come across it's a really
strong convincing colorful voice because little changes in the strength of your
voice and the tonality have huge repercussions on how people view you if
you're a guy as a leader as being an honest as being a Thor Tatum is being
convincing and if you're a guy you're talking about girls towards your
attractiveness by using good tonality you can hugely impact the way that
you're perceived so if you got to love it's maybe not a perfect 10 out of 10
going through this checklist before you go on a date or go out and be social is
a great way to boost that voice up so that they'll see that lug is a little
more attractive it is you can download that free checklist up here and go
through when you need to let me ask you this do you think that a guy who's 45
years old and divorced and trying to get back on the dating scene needs the same
advice as 18 year old dude running around panama city for spring break
drinking a stolen bob a rum of course not so if you're trying to improve your
dating life and your success with women be sure you're getting advice that's
tailored specifically to your age range if it's something you're trying to do
you can click here click how old you are and you'll be taken to some techniques
and strategies that are specific for your age now if you're hearing all these
different ideas in the video the tonality and this kind of stuff and it's
over your head and you're just really trying to get a good understanding and a
good level of social competence in general maybe you're out and you see
people talking and having a good time and you don't really always understand
why certain things happen and why people behave in certain ways under certain
circumstances I've got a program called the social invincibility program that is
a really good job of getting you not only up to speed on the basics put so
you will understand and what's going on around you in a way
that most other people won't so you can use that to your advantage to interpret
situations and make the right moves at the right times thanks for watching and
I'll see you next week