With ideas and observations racing through the INFJ brain, sometimes what they mean to
say isn’t exactly how it comes out.
And then there are other times that INFJs purposefully say things they don’t really
mean in order to spare others the potential boredom or truth of how they’re feeling
deep down inside.
So what are some things INFJs say and what do they really mean?
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Number 1: “Yes, but..”
Oh, INFJs and their yes-buts.
“Yes I can see where you're coming from, but have you ever thought of it this way?”
“Yes I can see why you feel that way, but have you ever thought of how they’re feeling”..
You get the jist.
INFJs always see the other side of things in order to broaden their own perception,
and in turn they end up encouraging others to also see the potential blinde side to their
own opinions.
‘Yes, buts’ are intended to completely validate the opinion or theory being discussed
while also opening up the next layer of thinking.
Whether it leads to a metaphorical comparison of the matter or they take the more philosophical
route, the INFJ mind is filled with yes-buts and they love to share them with those who
are open to it.
Number 2: “Does That Make Sense?”
INFJs have a range of ways they ensure they haven’t lost someone during a conversation.
“Does that make sense?”
“Do you get what I’m trying to say?”
“You know what I mean?”..
The list goes on, whether they literally ask if they’ve lost you, or they resort to asking
a question about something they’re explaining to make sure the other person is still on
track.
Usually this type of reassurance is because A) The INFJ feels like they’re not explaining
in the way they see it in their minds, or B)
The person on the other end has gone blank.
INFJs are constantly observing body language, especially when they’re speaking in order
to gauge other’s reactions to their wild thoughts.
So, whether someone thinks the INFJ is talking too much, couldn’t care less about what
they’re saying or they just really can’t understand the complexity of their thinking,
INFJs want to know, and won’t hesitate saying something for a little clarification.
Number 3: “Nevermind”
Because INFJs know they can’t always articulate what they want to say in the way they want
to say it, sometimes they end up hesitating the topics they dive into before even elaborating
on them.
Especially when it comes to deeper or controversial topics, INFJs always make sure they test the
waters before going all in.
A simple “nevermind” or “it isn’t important” says it all, but what are they
really thinking behind the scenes?
Well, sometimes they’re testing their conversation opponent to see whether or not they let it
go or are actually interested in what they’re saying.
If they genuinely want to hear more, a nevermind can be pretty disappointing and the INFJ will
pick up on it.
Other times, INFJs are really thinking “It’s obvious that this heated conversation is going
nowhere and so to avoid butting heads, I don’t think we should continue the conversation.”
Or lastly, “nevermind” could also mean “I’m afraid of making you feel uncomfortable
or discussing something that could hurt our relationship.”
This is when INFJ are hesitating with their blunt honesty and calculating a different
root they can take.
Number 4: “Hey, sorry I missed your call..
What's up?”
A clear tactic to avoid speaking on the phone and starting a conversation over text, INFJs
know exactly what they’re doing.
Chances are, the INFJ probably saw their phone ringing and intentionally disregarded it,
with no attention in calling back.
Even when it’s an INFJ close friend or even family, sometimes they decide not to pick
up because they just don’t want to socialize in the moment.
Whether this trait is to be blamed on being too busy, anxious or simply disinterested,
it’s important to remind others that it isn’t because they don’t care, it's just
that making themselves too available can seriously tire them out.
However, odds are even when the INFJ feels super overloaded, if it’s an emotional emergency
they won’t hesitate to reach out if someone needs an open ear to vent to.
Number 5: “I don’t know if I like them”
INFJs are constantly trying to feel people out.
With a constant intake of moods and observations of things like body language and manners,
INFJs are always trying to decipher if they could see themselves actually being friends
with someone.
And although their judgment of character is rarely off, they still require a decent amount
of time and exposure to an individual before making their judgment.
“I don’t know if I like them” can mean that the INFJ doesn’t have enough information
to decide whether or not they actually could get along with them.
Or, it could mean ”I thought I liked them but I saw them do (blank) and now I don’t
know if I like them.”
However, the empathetic side of the INFJ is always giving others the benefit of the doubt.
So, they’d be happy to be proven wrong in their negative opinions of other people.
Number 6: “Sorry, say that last part again”
With serious day-dreaming skills, even the attentive INFJ can get side tracked by their
own thoughts.
When an INFJ zones out and they’re actually listening to someone or something they’re
interested in they won’t hesitate to ask them to repeat.
Whether they say they’ve zoned out or end up sharing the idea they got caught up in,
INFJs want to make it clear that they weren’t mentally staring out into blankness.
Thanks to their introverted intuition and introverted thinking functions sometimes their
thoughts can become seriously distracting.
So in other words, when an INFJ remarks on how they missed what you were saying, what
they're really implying is that they’re genuinely interested in hearing it.
Number 7: “It’s pretty crowded in here”
Crowded, bright, loud, busy..
When an INFJ makes a negative comment about the environment they’ve stepped into it’s
probably a small cry for help.
Most INFJs are considered highly sensitive people.
This means that over-stimulation of things such as busy crowds, loud bars, bright lights,
even certain fragrances can really put an INFJ off.
Although INFJs are often mistaken for extroverts due to their love for human connection, it’s
also true that the INFJ reaches their threshold for stimulation faster than small groups.
In fact, INFJs rarely complain to others in fear of burdening people with their problems,
especially when they feel like they’re disappointing other people.
So, really what they’re thinking when they’re making these quiet acknowledgements is “I’m
feeling overstimulated and possibly anxious.
I’m not sure how long I can be sociable and I'd like to leave earlier than planned
because I’ll feel tired within the next hour or two.”
Number 8: "That's fine"
To an INFJ who likes things done a particular way, ‘that’s fine’ usually means “I
have no energy to argue so I surrender”.
INFJs are known for avoiding conflicts at all costs, so it’s not rare for them to
give up before they can even defend their view.
However, when an INFJ says “That’s fine” it’s not always to avoid arguments and disagreements.
Sometimes an INFJ just can’t be bothered to let their perfectionism get the best of
them.
Sometimes an “Its or that’s fine” really means "It's not what I would pick, but I can
find the good in it so that there I won’t bother sharing my opinion."
Number 9: “I’m fine”
There’s “that’s fine” and then there's “I’m fine”.
Even better is the good old INFJ classic “No seriously, I’m fine.”
The extra “No, seriously” adds a nice twist hinting “Leave me alone I’m not
opening up to you right now.”
While INFJs feel a duty to help others sort through their problems, the last thing they
want to do is direct the spotlight on their own problems.
They’re emotionally independent and desire to handle their problems on their own.
With the addition of the INFJ’s fear of being misunderstood, there's multiple reasons
behind the guilt, pride or fear in preventing this type from opening up about how they’re
really feeling.
So, while the simple phrase of “nothing is wrong” or “I’m fine,” could mean
exactly that.
It could also mean something is very wrong, but they don’t want to unload their problems
on you.
Number 10: “I don’t know”
Similar to nevermind, an INFJ “I don’t know” can sometimes mean that they feel
like they’ve ran out of ways to try and explain something.
Like they don’t know where they were going with what they were saying even though they
understood themselves completely.
However, on the other hand, when an INFJ seems unable to make a decision such as where to
go for dinner or whether or not they should say yes to a social invite, all it really
means is that they need more time to decide.
Sometimes if others are waiting for them to make a decision they may just resort to saying
it’s up to them, even though they would love to prefer to have a little patience for
their input.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video..
So, do you say any of these things as an INFJ?
Let us know in the comments below!
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