Hello everybody!
My name is Markiplier
And welcome to Princess Nom Nom
Now, this is a game I found on itch.io
That apparently works like the Slime Rancher game
But only in that aspect that you gotta feed this thing until it explodes.
I'm not 100% sure about that.
Just like I'm not 100% sure about anything in life.
I don't wanna make any declarations about things that I do not know!
Cuz I don't wanna seem like I know more than I do!
Which isn't really a risk knowing myself.
But anyway!
*Mark feeds Princess Nom Nom*
You just...
You just popped out a baby out of your belly button.
*Mark ponders life for a moment*
You- You just popped out a baby out of your belly button.
What are you doing?
Oh!
Nice!
Again, yes, you- you popped out a baby out of your belly button.
That's a little disturbing.
Okay!
Weee! (Mark is a girl, confirmed :P)
I am very confused
See, I go onto these games...
And I don't know what the fuck is happening in them.
But apparently
These little bastards go get food to feed princess Nom Nom
Princess Nom Nom then shoots out another baby
Everything's gonna be okay.
"Run, Forrest, Run!"
"Reduce the time needed to get food from the forrest."
"Upgrade some of the food looted from the forest."
Ooooohhh!
In a weird way this is like a bee colony, I suppose
So-Somehow.
With some funkalicious music
Go, go get 'em!
Feed Princess Nom Nom!
(loudly) All hail Princess Nom Nom!
There's some, there's some like meta story to this game
That you just gotta really think about terms of like, the logistics of this.
This horrible alien landed on earth
And just started spitting out babies
And playing happy-go-lucky music
And then all of a sudden eco-terrorism abound
The whole forest is devastated, because
I can see the exponential growth of this equation
And it doesn't end well
For all of humanity!
Doesn't go well at all..
But fuck it!
Y'know what? All hail princess Nom Nom
Let's go get her all the food that she requires
So that we can destroy the world.
Oh God and the voices when they go
That's not a happy voice!
*mumbles and croaks, imitating them*
Like, I don't know what this button does
But I'm afraid for it, because something about this game
Just makes me fearful for all of humanity
Oh!
A lake!
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna- oh!
You're now destroying the oceans
and our aquatic habitats.
Oh boy!
Well better make more babies we need more food
I probably shouldn't be y'know helping this
But alas
I don't know what else I should do
*musically* This. Is. Bad. For. Everybody. In-volved. But. It's cute so nobody's gonna mind
Ha Ha Ha HA
I can get an upgrade
Or I can open a farm
I guess that would be more responsible unless that farm has livestock and it's just gonna end up with more
You okay Princess Nom Nom?
Y'alright there?
Sweety?
Goooo. Gooo
Oh boy.
Oh and they're little randomly generated! Oh they have different tufts of hair!
They're cute
They're just mean but they're cute
What this music reminds me of wh-how many people out there played uh super mario legend of the seventh star
Super mario rpg legend of the seventh star, which is by far my favorite rpg I've ever played it's one of the best
And it was on the super nintendo and it was an absolutely incredible game. I love that game so much
But the music of it kind of reminds me of that game and I don't know why
Alright you know what I'm gonna stop bitchin' and moaning about the potential catastrophic effects of whatever the hell is going on over here
And I'm gonna just y'know let bygones be bygones y'know whatever
The world is gonna be destroyed but who cares
Alas what else can you do. Let's open a farm!
Oh. There is livestock. Oh there is livestock. Are we just gonna feed raw pigs into this thing?
Because that does not seem goood
Go back. OH. WHAAAAT?!
WHAAAT?!
WHAAAAAAT?!
You went to a weed farm?! And you pulled a T-bone steak?
Where did you get that steak?!
What kind of plants are you growing?!
Where did you get a steak?!
Alright let's upgrade
Okay reforestation. Okay radical fishing. Alright
Okaaay
Alright, let's open up this pig farm
I can't I'm just I'm gonna see what-- Oh the one with the devil horns goes over there okay
Okay what are you gonna bring back?
The fuck is THAT?!
I don't know where you're goin'. I don't know what you're doin' . Did you pay for that?
D-did you pay for that?!
That was a cupcake made by probably human hands!
Did you pay for that?
I'm gonna assume you stole it at best
And that's the best option here
Oh I think princess Nom Nom's getting bigger
Which I-I think is a bad thing
[Hipitch] Yipidedeehooo
Alright can we upgrade ridiculous fishing
Let's see
"Reduce new areas price" But I'm already almost at the top of the list
Nah whatever
Urgh. That's just scary it's just like teletubby levels of scary those voices
And I don't know when the hell this is gonna end
I don't know if there's a payoff reward for this
Rrrooooooo
Okay we got the last twenty here let's go for it
G-go get it go to get it devil horn man
Oh a golden apple"
Oh! That's good!
I'm assuming you stole that from the gods on Mount Olympus
Which also represents something bad that you probably shouldn't do
But if this thing can even steal and or barter from the gods
Then we are in bigger trouble than I thought
I-it's weird
I don't actively see a point to all of this but I'm weirdly compelled to keep going
And I don't know why
No-yeah. Food food. Looted from the village. Food looted
Oh speed
Of all
Oh okay let's do that. Pop a pill
I don't know what pill you're popping probably crack if crack comes in pill form
You know a pill of crack
I.. I know drugs
I shouldn't know drugs that's not a good thing to claim
Oh my god the forrest crew is just booking it
I don't- I don't know if they're 25% faster they seem wayy faster than they used to be like my goodness I can't keep up these food
Alright okay increase food gains
Ohh you have a crown!
I don't know how that works do you ration it or do you just eat it faster
Do you chew your food?
Princess Nom Nom I have so many questions
Princess Nom Nom I feel like we've come a long way
From knowing each other
I feel like you could be opening an honest to me
About what the fuck we're doing
Some day your minions are going to wonder why they are doing the things that they are doing
Or maybe they don't maybe they're happy being mindless minions
Okay anyway. Good day to you
Alright time to upgrade everything else
Err.. I don't know.. wha-
Uhd, that was a useless upgrade
IN THE NAVY alright
YMCA okay alright
uhm
*inhale*
Pater Noost (that's not how you say it, Mark.)
We need more babies, Princess Num Num.
princess nim nim!
We need more _babies_
Princess Num Num!!
We need a lot more babies.
oOh boi
Empress of Nom
pop- Pohping Pohping discount. Not popping, POHPING.
Origin of all Nom.
Transcend your nom existence.
Become the nom itself.
I don't think I want that.
I'm gonna take this one.
Okie dokie then- WE NEED MORE NOMS
you- your crown is SO BIG!
MAMA NOM NOM
You're so big! (that's what she said)
Look at their faces.
They're the face of..
PURE EVIL
PUHYAH
EEVILL
Okay, maybe we should transcend all nom.
alright
oh shit.
BDSIFSDGFBSDFLSDJBFKSD
HUUUUH??
WHA- NO!!
wHAT?
NO!
you can't do that to ME!
AWWHH COME ON
I DON'T WANNA CLICK YOU
WELL WHAT GOOD DID THAT DO ME?
What good did that do me? Is-
the upgrade available now??
Oh maybe I needed to get all the other upgrades
before I could get that one.
GOD DAMMIT
I gotta do it AGAIN
I gotta do it a-fuckin' GAIN
fachk
Well here we go again
down this insane path of
feeding Princess Nom Nom
Which is definitely a good use of my tiiiime
Maybe I can do it faster now, now that I know what I'm doing.
hahahha
m y l i f e i s h e l l
mylifeishell
iaminpain
waking nightmare this is bullshit
this is bullshit
alright now I guess we have to start pumpin out the other one
we need to maximize production
we don't have enough
you guys need to work harder
y'all sUUck
Alright, we're gonna get that one
We're gonna get that one.
Okay we're gonna get the Opus Dei.
Okay we're gon get to do that
but we're not ready to do that just yet, we need more babies.
That's a weird thing to say out loud-
WE NEED ALOT MORE BABIES
PRINCESS NOM NOM PUMP OUT BABIES
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE MAKIN EM BY YOURSELF
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
I actually don't wanna know
I-I'm-a I wanna
take that back.
I'm perfectly content with NOT knowing
how you're making all these babies by yourself.
WOAH
Look at the fuckin' cakes on YOU!
Holy shit, look at you.
Man, it's gonna take awhile to upgrade absolutely everything.
I actually realize now this is going to take A GOOD LONG WHILE.
What's it gotta be like for one of these lil' bastards
to be born into the word?
Just suddenly thrust into-
GIT MUDDAH SUM FOOHD
run down to the corner store and get mom sum BOOHZE
oh my gooood
I'm realizing the full ramifications of
the task that I've set UPON ME!
It is a bunch of BULL SHIT!
Yay, we're over a hundred thousand foods.
I think I should celebrate,
but we're not even near to our goal.
Cuz' we gotta spawn two more of these bad bois
and upgrade the other one-
two more times!
And that is even IF
this is gonna lead to some secret secret dark secrets
I don't know
Almost there!
Might as well pop out the extra baby..
Okay, here we go!
I'm gonna upgrade the last one!!
It better give me another upgrade! I'm-
just sayin-
it better do it heheheh HOH
And-
NO???
a-HA HA HA HA
heh
ahhhh fuckkk...
fuckin'- you know what?
why am I doing this?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Why do I wanna know that badly?
Why do I wanna know?
What could it possibly be?
I have no god damn idea, but either way,
I don't know,
I guess I'm at the end of my rope here.
I've been doin' this for, fuckin, an HOUR.
AND THEN WHY? WHAT'S THE POINT?
WHAT DID IT GET ME? IT GOT ME NOTHING!
IT GOT ME A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING!
I DON'T KNOW!
So, I guess that,
is that.
So anyway, that's Princess Nom Nom!
We will never know!
We'll never know-we'll never know
WHYYY
We'll never know
WHAT
We'll never know
WHERE
We'll never know
WHEN
It's just that- that's just it.
That is the end of Princess Nom Nom
Here's one more baby for the road
And still no final upgrade.
So if you guys have the patience for it,
Let me know how to get it.
maybe its a secret easter egg where u gotta click around on one of these rocks or somethin
I don't know.
But that is all I'm gonna do for this one. So,
Thank you everyone so much for watching,
I'll put a link down in the description for you guys to
BASH your head against a wall on Princess Nom Nom's belly.
So thanks again,
And as always, I will see you,
In the next video!
BUHBYE
*Outro* Thank you for watching the outro for this long. *Outro*