Alright.
I'm really doing it.
Almighty Ozord,
I summon thee!
Ozord!
Thoron, I didn't know we had a two o'clock.
Great Lord Ozord of the Conquerors,
I quit.
I don't understand.
I just feel like all my work is
just kind of going into this machine.
I just feel like a cog in the machine.
But you're the most valuable cog
I have, Thoron, I⁠—
I appreciate you saying that,
but it's still⁠—
I'm just still a cog.
I⁠—
I'm gonna be a freelance conqueror.
I respect your decision, Thoron.
Thank you.
I too was once just a Thoron
to an Ozord.
Alright, uh⁠—
And I eventually broke free.
Took freelance seriously.
I'll see you, man.
♫ Oh, my name is Thoron.
Gonna go on new adventures.
Gonna freelance conquer for myself.
Gonna make it on my own. ♫
Oh, and what do we have here?
A little planet that needs conquering.
I'm Thoron the Conqueror.
I am Thoron the Conqueror.
Bow down to me.
Oh, why don't you
conquer this ass, baby?
That sounds nice.
But, uh⁠—
But no, no.
I⁠— I just quit my day job
and I made this big proclamation
that I'm gonna be a
freelance conqueror.
And if I don't start right now,
then I'm a nothing piece of⁠—
Whoa, whoa.
Just chill, Thoron.
Come on. Don't you wanna get in here?
Get messy in here
with my sister and my brother.
I've never been with siblings.
[Beeping]
Thoron!
Ugh. Not right now.
Wanted to check in on my
favorite little freelancer.
He's having a rough time over here.
He's crying!
If you want your job back,
it's always here.
Take my job back?
Eons ago, I once came back to a job.
No!
Oh, Ozord out.
Ugh.
This is a conquering!
Lay your money and valuables before me.
Go back to your nine to five.
You're not cut out for this, Thooroo.
Nine to five?
No!
Oh, do I have your attention now?
What?
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Somewhere in this forest
lies the cave of the Blue Obsidian,
the ancient crystal
that removes all fear.
And once I have it,
I'll be the most fearless conqueror
in the galaxy.
How come we never hang out
outside of work?
You never call.
Yeah, sorry, man.
I've been busy.
But, uh, how about next week?
You know, I don't have anything next week.
Great!
If you could just lower your volume,
because the cave of the Blue Obsidian
is heavily guarded.
I just got us two front row tickets
to the beheading of Dinglewop the Peddler
for next Friday.
Whoa, what?
I can't commit to that.
You said next week, you were totally free.
Hey!
You're being really f***ing loud.
Protect me, TED-1!
Sure, brother.
Oh!
Oh my God, Rachel.
Actually, I feel fine.
I told you to turn your f***ing
volume down, TED-1.
Goddammit, we could've been killed.
Please, don't speak that way to me.
I am your best friend.
You're not my⁠—
You're not my friend.
Okay, TED-1?
You're a f***ing robot that I hired.
Wow!
Goodbye!
F***.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
F***, I'm alone.
F***.
Holy f***ing shit,
it's the f***ing Blue Obsidian.
Oh my f***ing God.
Fear not, troubled conqueror.
Approach me, and your fear will melt away.
Happy holidays, Mom and Dad.
Hmm.
You've really packed on the pounds.
Haven't you, son?
Do you have any family or friends
we can contact?
No.
How's that fitting, sir?
Do you need to try another size?
I have no fear!
Thoron!
I forgive you!
Hug me!
I don't need you anymore!
Whoa!
Ow!
Oh no!
Oh, my fears. Oh, my fears.
I'm sorry about your crystal.
Do you still want to go to the beheading?
Yeah, okay.
Great!
Pick me up at seven.
I'm so glad we're friends again.
You quit your job?
Yes, that's right.
Okay, so, you don't get unemployment
because you quit your job.
What do you mean?
But I'm unemployed.
You're a quitter.
So, quitters don't get anything from me.
I wouldn't say I'm a quitter.
I⁠— I quit to pursue my dream.
Oh my God! It's Eyezeezel,
Eater of Worlds!
Oh, where⁠—
Oh, no.
Oh, no. I⁠—
I⁠—
Oh.
Oh, God. I'm dead.
I'm dead and I'm in hell.
This sucks.
I never became a successful freelance conqueror.
I died a piece of shit.
You're a fat f***ing piece of shit.
God?
Eat another planet, pig.
Oh my God. I'm inside of Eyezeezel.
Hey, Eyezeezel!
You motherf***er, you ate me.
I eat everything!
Eyezeezel is outside the ship, Captain.
He's crying and talking to himself.
Remain calm.
We've prepared for this.
I heard you.
You're saying some pretty
f***ed up stuff to yourself.
Yeah, I'm—
You're, like, the most feared creature
in the entire galaxy.
I'm the fattest creature in the galaxy.
Oh, come on.
What's⁠—
Would you talk that way to someone else?
No.
No?
It's not⁠— That's not⁠—
That's not what this is.
It's this negative self-talk.
You gotta get out of that.
It's all about perception.
One day, I'll look at myself
and I'll feel really confident
and really good.
And then the next day, I'll see myself,
and it's like, "What the f*** happened?"
♫ Oh, please, Eyezeezel,
do not eat us today.
Oh, please, Eyezeezel,
eat something far away. ♫
Eyezeezel, you gotta make the choice
to be kind to yourself, man.
Otherwise, you're gonna drown.
Yeah, man, you're right.
You're right.
I think if we could all love ourselves,
the universe would be a better place.
Don't take this the wrong way,
but I⁠—
I'm really happy I ate you today.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
If there's ever anything
I can do for you, please⁠—
Er, well. I mean, actually⁠ ...
Are you sure, Captain?
It's better to decide your own fate
than to die in the mouth of a monster.
Okay, whatever.
Wait, Number Three! Wait!
I banish thee to the depths of space,
you shit bastard!
I am leaving and going far, far away
because of the might
of Thoron the Conqueror.
Thoron, we're looking to hire
a freelance conqueror.
What's the rate?
Um, I don't know.
I'll do it.
Number Three,
get this son of a bitch a contract.
Aye, aye, Captain.
No!