The Thesis Statement.
The core of every successful essay but also a pain for many students.
If you're struggling to come up with a top-notch thesis statement — then keep watching.
EssayPro is here to help.
Framing the problem.
In this video, you will learn about the five most common thesis statement mistakes and how to avoid them.
We will also show some examples of good and bad thesis statements.
By the end of this video, you will know everything you need about the thesis statement formulation
and it should help you to come up with the perfect essay.
So, without further ado, let's jump right into it.
Problem 1: Presenting a Fact Instead of an Argument
Now, this is a very common mistake, but you can easily avoid it.
The first step you must take is to figure out what your thesis statement actually is.
If we take a look at the definition, then a thesis statement " is the main argument that will be explored through out the entire essay."
And what is the most distinct feature of the argument?
It is arguable.
It means that the reader might want to challenge your thesis.
If the reader cannot do so — then that means that you've probably presented a fact.
Now let's look at the example. "The US-China trade war is going on."
This is a fact.
We do not see any author's opinion here and cannot challenge this statement.
It is simply true, and you will not make an essay out of it.
"The US-China trade war can undermine the global economy."
This one is an argument.
We see the author's opinion, which can be challenged.
For example, the reader might say something like,
"I disagree. The consequences of this trade war will be less dire".
Now your next task is to convince the reader that your argument is logical, viable, and most importantly true.
Problem 2: Presenting the Thesis Too Early in the Text
Often students are not exactly sure as to where the thesis statement actually goes.
In rare cases, it can be found in various segments of the paper,
starting from the introduction, body, and even sometimes in the conclusion!
So, here is the rule of thumb: in 99% of academic writing,
the thesis must appear in the introduction of your paper.
More specifically, the thesis should only appear as the last sentence in this section.
To make things easier, keep the following structure in mind:
First, intrigue the reader by presenting a hook statement.
Proceed by briefly introducing your topic of discussion and adding any relevant background information.
And finish off the introduction by presenting an arguable thesis statement.
So, let's look at an example.
"The US-China trade war can undermine the global economy.
There are a couple of reasons for this.
The war suppresses international trade growth and factory output around the world".
In this example, the introduction starts with a thesis.
After that, the author immediately moves to reason.
We already know that this is a bad practice, so let's see how we can improve it.
"The US-China trade war has been going on for more than a year and has had its toll on both countries.
Yet, the consequences of this trade war have the potential to be much more dire as it can
undermine the global economy."
Here we have two sentences.
The first one is introductory, and it helps the reader understand what the essay is about.
The second one is the thesis, in which you present the argument you will be defending
throughout the paper.
Keep in mind that it is important to add some supporting content in between the hook and the thesis.
This will make the flow of ideas more natural and logical.
Problem 3: Making an Uncertain Thesis Statement
Sometimes, students use expressions such as
"I believe," "I think," and "In my humble opinion"...
This is a bad practice to perform as such phrases weaken the thesis and show your uncertainty.
Plus, they just take up valuable word count for no good reason.
Remember: you are the boss of your essay.
So, use the words to make a solid statement and present your point.
This is what essays are all about. Now it is example time!
Let's drift off the US-China trade war and turn to another topic.
For example, you are going to write a paper about literature
and explore whether Scarlett O'Hara is a feminist character.
Here is a bad example:
"In my opinion, ScarlettO'Hara is a feminist model,
considering her character traits and relationships with men."
You see the problem, right?
Luckily, this thesis can be improved easily. Just loose that "in my opinion" expression.
"As seen through her character traits and relationships with men,
it is clear that Scarlett O'Hara holds all the elements of a feminist model."
Wow!
Now it is clear that you are confident and know exactly what you are talking about.
Can't wait to see your reasons!
Problem 4: Making the Thesis Statement Too Broad
It may sound a bit counterintuitive, but it is much harder to come up with one excellent
thesis sentence than provide five mediocre ones.
Also, you need to make sure that your statement is not too broad.
Let's see some examples to make things a bit clearer.
"Many U.S. industries are using taxpayers' money ineffectively." Ok, it is one sentence.
But does it make a good thesis statement?
No, as after reading it, we still have lots of questions.
Which industries?
How exactly do they use the money, and why is it ineffective?
Let's elaborate upon this idea.
"The energy industry is using taxpayers' money ineffectively by financing less promising sectors."
So, as you can see, it is still one sentence.
But we see that the author has summarized information from a broad topic
and transformed it into a precise thesis statement.
Good job!
Why is it so important?
A сlean-cut thesis statement is an indication that the author is familiar with the topic
and knows what he is talking about.
If you cannot present the thesis in one question, it means that you need to spend more time
researching the topic. Simple as that!
Problem 5: Making the Thesis a Question
To be or not to be?
It worked well for Shakespeare and his famous Hamlet, but it will do a very poor job in your thesis.
Remember: the primary goal of the thesis is to inform the reader of your position on a topic.
The question can't state anything, so using it as a thesis is completely illogical.
Let's look at this example: "Do people need to choose more sustainable makeup brands?"
There is no statement here.
The reader can not see your position on the topic.
So, let Shakespeare stay in charge of questions.
You have to focus on firm statements.
Like this one, for example: "People need to choose more sustainable makeup brands to become more eco-friendly."
It is a firm statement — no questions asked.
So, pay extreme attention to your thesis statement.
It is not only crucial for the reader, but it also helps you develop a point, follow it to the end,
and create a fantastic piece of writing.
Think about it as an anchor, a compass or a guiding light...
It really does not matter which metaphor you choose.
Just remember, your thesis statement is the driving force behind the rest of your writing.
Alright guys, that is it for today! Now you know everything about the thesis statement
and can consider yourself ready to compose a great essay on any topic!
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Anyways guys, that’s my time, I gotta get out of here.
Have a good day and I’ll see you on the next one, peace!