- Do you struggle with relationships?
It's easy to get lost in life
and in your relationships.
It comes and goes
and there were probably times you wondered,
what went wrong?
There are certain types of behavior
that damage your relationships
and sometimes you don't even notice
when you're doing them.
So today we're going to find out what they are
and how to prevent them.
Number one, refusing to say sorry.
How do you resolve fights or misunderstandings?
Do you sometimes refuse to back down
even if it's your own mistake?
Practicing healthy communication
is vital for relationships.
This includes the ability to admit
that you are the one at fault.
There is power in this act.
It shows that you are mature enough
to look at your own shortcomings
and capable of overcoming them
to the best of your ability.
But why is it so difficult to say sorry?
Well, saying sorry can lead to feelings of shame.
This can make you feel bad about yourself
and rethink whether you're a good person or not.
It helps to remember saying sorry
doesn't equate to you having a bad personality,
saying sorry just means that you're willing
to admit that you're wrong
and you cherish the other person
and will try to be better for them.
Number two, having low self-esteem.
You tend to be insecure about your own self,
skills or appearance.
People who have low self-esteem try to diminish
these feelings by fully relying on their relationships
for emotional or psychological stability.
This is called codependency
and this can make a relationship go
from healthy to toxic fast.
Being codependent can stem from abusive families,
childhood upbringing,
or exposure to people with mental or physical illnesses.
But don't worry,
there's always room for growth.
For starters, you can try developing
your own self-care routines
to encourage feelings of relaxation and happiness.
What makes you feel good?
Do you like going to the spa?
Taking long walks?
Doing some exercise?
It's important to explore
and identify the things you like doing
so you can incorporate them
into your own schedule.
Spend time with your supportive friends
or even go to a therapist.
Someone will always be there to help you when you need it.
Number three, refusing to compromise.
Relationships are about getting close to someone else.
But being two different people,
you're bound to have some disagreements along the way.
And that's why we have the magic of compromise.
You discuss your side of the story
and get to a unified decision
that satisfies you both,
leading to further growth as a team.
But do you feel like you're sacrificing
more than compromising?
Or perhaps you feel like you're asking
too much of someone already.
These types of situations can cause negative feelings
such as bitterness or resentment to develop.
So how do you prevent this?
Understand that you, your friend, family,
or partner are completely different people,
you'll never be on the same side all the time
and that's okay.
Find a new alternative that works for you both
and try to build an environment
that's both peaceful and yet open to healthy arguments.
Communicate, and put yourself
in their shoes as you listen.
Number four, always putting them first.
When you love someone, you have a natural inclination
to shower them with affection.
Sometimes it comes at the expense
of your own physical and mental health.
You go out of your way to make them feel happy.
You give them gifts, tell them compliments,
and protect them whichever way you can.
That's all good, but are you also giving
the same treatment to your own body and self?
Remember that your relationship with yourself
comes first before everything else.
So it needs some love and care as well.
Try taking some time off for yourself.
Pursue your passions, hobbies, or even get new ones.
Keeping your sense of independence alive
is a way to stop depending on others
for your own emotional and psychological stability.
Own your life.
You matter.
Number five, always putting yourself first.
This is just the exact opposite of number four
but it needs to be said,
just like how some people have an inclination
to always put themselves last,
others have the tendency to always put themselves first.
This is not self love.
See self-love means nurturing yourself
to become a better presence all around.
You give yourself time off,
distance yourself from toxic people,
and grant yourself the chance to enjoy life.
However, when you're doing whatever you wanna do
without considering other people's feelings,
you may come off as selfish.
This is why it helps to be aware of your own actions.
Consider how your actions are affecting your relationships.
Did they seem to be hurt by what you said?
Are some people putting some distance away from you?
Keep an eye out for any possible indicators
and don't be afraid to face them head on if you do.
Open up your feelings and admit your mistakes
to those you feel you've wronged.
It's a sign of maturity and your loved ones
will certainly appreciate the effort.
And number six, harboring grudges.
Are you the type of person who likes to hold onto a grudge?
Holding a grudge is a defense mechanism.
And some grudges last longer than others
depending on the cause.
Keeping grudges may cage you in a whirlwind
of negative emotions like anger,
bitterness, resentment, and hopelessness.
There really aren't a lot of benefits to it,
and can damage your relationships.
When you're angry, give yourself some time
to let this steam off.
Go for a walk.
Do some exercise and try to get your mind off
what is making you angry.
After you've calmed down, reflect on what happened
and try to build your way to a resolution.
Should you talk it out with them?
Give them space?
Whatever it is, it's important to get to a conclusion
which is what harboring grudges doesn't do.
Patience, understanding, and acceptance
will help you get through it.
It's certainly not easy,
but you're more than capable
of being a better person.
Choose forgiveness.
Have you ever called it quits with a friend or partner?
Why do you think it happened?
Please share your stories in the comment section below.
We appreciate hearing your experiences
with different relationships.
Remember, communication with yourself
and the other person is essential.
You never stop growing as a person.
What you experience now will be a lesson for tomorrow.
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Thanks for watching.
Until next time.