- Gay people quit (bleep)
each other, earlier? - Yes!
- Ohh. - They opened it up
to farm yard animals.
- Well, don't straight people have a baby by like
three weeks in?
- No, that's lesbians.
- Oh. (metallic ringing)
Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel.
- And I'm Katya.
- And we're two queens.
- [Both] Who like to watch.
- And today we're watching "Glow Up."
- A British makeup competition series on Netflix.
There's something, I don't know,
about the British accent that is like,
what's clear in this moment,
is that you are a total piece of (bleep).
- It's very apparent here
that you've done nothing. - Nothing you've done
in your life is any good at all.
And that you're destined for suicide.
- And I would know because I'm Michael Caine.
(Katya laughs)
(intense orchestral music)
- Spoiler alert, Bambi dies at the end of this.
- Spoiler alert, Bruce Willis has been dead the whole time
and he was not even
a makeup artist, so. - Yeah.
This is a competition show.
We're gonna be unveiling major spoilers
so watch with precaution or whatever.
- Yeah, or if you see something that might spoil it for you
just, la, la, la, la, la, la. - Yeah.
- I think we'll have particular insight into this
because we are both veterans of reality
competition television. - And makeup
artist professionals.
- In fact, I'm trying one of my new lipsticks
with 22% dimethicone today and we'll see how it works out.
- Is that a silicone thing?
- It is a silicone base. - Yeah.
- We're trying to make one my most popular shades vegan.
- Oh, so you can wear it in the shower?
- Yes!
Vegan means wear it - Waterproof.
- in the shower, yes. - Waterproof, waterproof.
- Wear it in the shower with my bunnies.
You don't shower with your bunnies?
- Mama, I don't shower, period.
(Trixie laughs) Catch it.
- I don't shower on my period.
(Katya laughs) Sharks.
Sharks!
- Oh, yeah, that's true.
(upbeat music)
- [Trixie And Katya] Kim!
- Kim! - Oh my god! (laughs)
- Why is she being wheeled out?
I remember when Kim went to judge this show.
She came back with a bunch of free makeup.
- Cool!
- [Trixie] And by the way, Kim is not somebody you want
looking over your shoulder
while you're doing makeup. - No.
- Because she does not hold back.
Kim is that person who's like,
Trixie, your makeup looks really pretty
when your eyebrows are even.
(Katya laughs)
That's a compliment from Kim.
- So many looks we see today
actually come from the world of drag.
- You can say steal.
Drag queens are like, "You stole that from us!"
♪ My poker face, my, my poke ♪
In a like a knock off costume.
- (chuckles) Yeah!
- I've never really done drag make up before.
- Gorgeous. - A person who's never done
drag before, having to glue somebody's brows down,
makes me want to jump into traffic.
It's not beauty makeup.
- No. - Just make 'em into clowns.
- Totally. - Clown whore,
get on stage.
Go wiggle!
Oh, you are a clown whore!
- (laughs) I know! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You have to be able to repetitively create the same look.
- I used to want to be - Concerned.
- a makeup artist for theater,
but do you wanna paint Elphaba green everyday?
I don't.
- Oh my god, never.
- [Kim] So we want a smooth surface.
- Now this process for me - This is hard.
- is 20 minutes.
- (bleep) They're poppin' off though.
They're like, "This is Friday night."
- When I was growin' up, when my mum--
- [Trixie] You like this haircut?
- I do!
Also, I want the hole in the middle too.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
- Like a Friar Tuck? - Gimme the full donut.
- Yes! - Full donut fantasy.
And a monk robe. - Robin Hood, Friar Tuck.
- [Katya] Yeah.
- Oh! - Whoa.
- Wow!
That was, ohh. - Oh, wow.
Bianca Del Rio found dead.
- She is pissing on all these people.
- She whipped out her uncut, British wiener
- Yup. - and pissed over the--
- She slapped it right across her (bleep)
face with it. - You want me to piss
on your face?
- You know what, in defense of these people,
when you're a freelance makeup artist,
you're just ordered to do Kim Kardashian
over and over again.
- Yeah. - That's your whole career.
- Yeah. - They don't know
how to do this.
Nobody's on their wedding day like,
"Can I just get a cat nose?"
- Even the Halloween makeup that they're hired to do
they're like, I wanna look slutty,
but also really pretty and like,
I don't wanna wear any makeup,
but I wanna wear a lot.
- I don't want any lashes.
I don't wanna look like a drag queen.
- No.
- So one of the reasons why drag makeup is so heavy
is performers sweat.
- [Katya] Thank you.
- [Trixie] You feel seen.
- My story's being told.
I'm coming out of the darkness and into the light.
- And we hate it. - Yeah. (laughs)
- Go back in the darkness, please.
- You sweaty (bleep), get the hell outta here.
- You do sweat a lot.
- Honey, at any given point
it looks like I just came from a pool!
- [Stacey] Nikki and Belinda have also covered the brows.
- "Nikki and Belinda have also covered the brow."
My accents are so bad. - (laughs) Wait, you went,
you went-- - Listen, I'm not good.
Hold on let me try again.
Drag makeup first timers!
Sorry.
- I don't wanna rush you.
- They gotta go on stage!
Oh my god.
- [Trixie] He does not have enough makeup on.
- No! - Are you kidding?
She's (bleep).
You are (bleep).
- [Katya] And it's not even powdered!
- This is literally what they're doing right now.
- Yes!
Take the shovel
and jam it into the (bleep) mannequin!
- Yeah. - Take the shovel, Margret!
- And if the MUAs don't achieve that, I'll have to step in.
- [Katya] Gimme the brush, I'll do it meself.
- So we've got some contouring to do
and then we've just got the eye work to do.
- [Katya] So, the whole face.
- Kim nodding!
I just have to finish everything.
- So I just have to do - Kim's like.
- the face, then we'll be good.
- No pressure, it's only like the biggest competition.
- (laughs) Kim is a sociopath!
You will be murdered if you fail.
- [Dominic] Belinda, I believe, is next.
- Ooo! - Okay, but, wait.
Okay, hold on.
It's a brick though.
The face is a brick.
This is the quarterback of the football team.
- Yeah.
- This is a brick house. - Whereas us.
(both moaning)
Yeah.
I mean, it matches the left, kind of.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Dominic] So next up we have Nikki.
- [Katya] Oof.
Ugh.
Whauh.
- Are these people gonna watch this?
- [Katya] Is this your girlfriend?
Woof. - (laughs) Oh my god!
- Yeah. - This is the lady
that would come into the makeup store
every day and never buy anything.
That's the lady on the right.
- Next, we have Ellis.
- [Trixie] The lip!
- [Val] Steph.
- (groans) Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
- If all you had to use was soot and pig (bleep)
this is pretty good. - It would look better.
Yeah, it's just rotten.
- Rotten.
- It's truly rotten. - Gutted.
- This makeup competition is turning me
into a cantankerous (bleep).
- Steph, you just didn't bring it.
(Katya groans)
- (laughs) It's so bad.
This is so mean.
- Oh, I, well--
- No I mean like, it's mean to these people.
- Oh. They have to go
on stage like that!
- Lee, your makeup impressed us the most.
- [Trixie] Wow!
- [Val] Your makeup was the closest--
- It's not good.
- You get ten minutes with--
- Kimberly Chi.
But, as a twist, she'll be speaking only in Korean.
- [Katya] (laughs) Yeah.
- After being on "Drag Race,"
shows like this don't impress me
'cause I'm like, - No.
- you have to make one dress?
- No. - You had to do one makeup?
- One makeup, and because what did we have
to do on "Drag Race"?
- Everything. - Sometimes we have to do
three distinct looks in one day.
- In one day.
And learn lines.
And learn lip sync. - Eat lunch.
- And talk about your dead mom.
- Yeah, hello.
- Women and men in the UK wear much more makeup
than they do here. - Oh.
- As a nation-- - Oh, oh, oh, oh!
(both laughing)
- But we're a little more dramatic
when our jewelry falls off.
- Nobody move!
- Drag is all about creating art
through gender and transformation.
- [Trixie] Are they flipping their own genders?
- Because I've never really done traditional drag.
- [Trixie] Kim's like, "Neither have I."
- [Katya] (laughs) Yeah.
- The truth is, too, without experience,
you're not just gonna get this.
- No (bleep) (bleep).
I've done drag for like 10 years
and I still can't do makeup.
- [Kim] We wanna delete the person that's underneath this
and create a new person.
- [Trixie] Kim explains stuff good.
Ooh! - What the hell?
- Speaking of whodunit.
(cackles)
Right at the camera! (Katya laughs)
What the (bleep)!
(Trixie gasps) - Ooh.
- See, Ellis isn't afraid to just do it.
- I love those--
- [Trixie] What is happening?
(Katya laughs)
- He looks like those little chipmunks.
- [Trixie] Why does he keep
looking at the camera?! - I don't know!
- 30 minutes remaining.
- [Katya] Oh boy, here we go.
Not (bleep) Santa.
- I'm leaving.
You guys,
trash.
- Oh my god.
- (laughs) I can't take it.
He looks like somebody
just slipped a thumb up his ass, like.
- Yeah. - That was too
(bleep) much. - Yeah.
Wait, wait,
do it to that camera. - Oh my god.
If they show that model looking to the camera one more time,
I'm gonna flip this table.
(haunting music)
(Katya shrieks)
- 30 seconds!
(Trixie snorts) Time's up, brushes down.
- Oh my god, oh my god! - What in the (bleep) hell
is that? - What the (bleep)?
- Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible.
- [Trixie] He looks like "The Grudge" (bleep).
- [Katya] Oh!
(Trixie giggles)
- This is the best thing I've ever seen,
(bleep) every program.
I want every episode to be bad drag makeup.
- Tiffany, please come forward.
- [Trixie] Very handsome guy.
- [Katya] Oh, pause it!
(Trixie cackling)
- Oh my god (laughs).
She's doing like, "Gimme Gimme"
from "Thoroughly Modern Millie"
or like a musical theater number.
Oh, she's doing "Into the Woods."
- Oh, yeah, she's "Into the Woods."
- [Trixie] I hope she goes into the woods
and never comes out. - Yeah.
- [Trixie] Next!
- [Dominic] And then you've got this.
- Is this the one? - Is this the one?
(Trixie cackles) - Oh my
(bleep) god. - Did she highlight
the adam's apple?
- [Katya] Okay, I love this!
- Okay, no,
she looks like a, no. - Not as a drag queen!
- Yeah. - I feel like this
would be like a fashion show on another planet makeup.
- You're being too nice,
she looks like a haunted tree. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, it's the worst makeup I've ever seen in my life,
but yeah-- - This is the worst makeup.
- It's the worst make up in the world,
but as a painting.
- An alien (bleep) me and gave me herpes.
- Yeah. - That's what this is.
- This is rotten, gutted, and horrible.
But I do want like a giant painting of it in my bedroom.
- I wanted to create-- - Oh, he's hot too.
- Oh, I hate this.
- [Trixie] The lip is cool.
Hate that. - Oh, but not a feather lash.
- Hate, I hate colored lashes.
- Yeah, I prefer the previous one.
Mr. Caught In The Headlights.
- Steph, please come forward.
- [Steph] Beauty is ageless and I feel--
- Oh my, Jesus (bleep) Christ.
She went in the paper shredder
and just grabbed a whole hunk.
- Ho, ho, ho,
hell no.
- And I will definitely remember this.
- [Trixie] Oh, I'll remember it.
- [Katya] Yeah.
- I'll remember it.
- This image will be burned into me brain
for the rest of me life.
- Ellis.
- Milk called.
The blue, yellow, pink looks good.
Triadic color relationship.
Nobody's done good drag make up yet
for the drag makeup challenge.
Meanwhile, Kim looks like Zorro.
(Katya laughs)
(bleep) Hamburglar.
(Katya laughs) Latex Hamburglar.
- So for their final face off challenge
they gotta put lashes on identical twins.
Which, as you know, are one of the trickiest things
about doing drag makeup.
Talk about your lashes right now.
- I wear about 10 pairs on the top
and about two pairs on the bottom.
What is that?
12 pairs, two each,
there's 24 strips of hair on my face right now.
And that's why everyone wants to (bleep) me.
(Katya laughs)
What?
- [Stacey] But how the model
looks in the flesh is unimportant.
It's what they look like on camera.
- [Trixie] Yeah.
- [Val] That is an incredible, beautiful--
- Excuse me. - What?
They just put a little orange on her eyes
and threw her out in front of the camera?
Where's the Spackle over the sandpaper?
I need a Sherman-Williams interior semi-gloss
in light toast.
- It's not Sherman,
it's Sherwin-Williams. - Sherman-Williams?
- Who the fuck is Sherman Williams?
- Sherman Williams,
you know about Sherman Williams?
- That's her government name, Sherman Williams.
- How it's gonna photograph.
- [Trixie] Which Pokemon is he?
Oh, great hair.
- Yeah, awesome.
High maintenance. - And nails.
- Very high maintenance. - And nails, yeah.
- Although the great thing about doing hair like that
is you can basically color it before it goes on your head.
- Also, that could just be a wig.
- I suppose it could be a wig, couldn't it?
I don't know a lot about wigs, so I didn't even
think about that. - Yeah, I've never
worn a wig.
I love when people cry about make up.
Cry. - It's also 21 year old
makeup artists being like,
"I fought my whole life for this."
- Yeah. - Mary, you put lashes on.
- This is what I wanna be in
and I've literally worked so hard--
- They're staring at her like,
"You won one, relax." - I've worked my entire life
after this moment, sacrificed so much.
They could chop you next week, honey.
- [Val] It doesn't work.
- [Trixie] British people love those little bowl cuts.
- I love a bowl cut!
- You do?
- I love a bowl cut!
- [Trixie] British people live this boy band fantasy
with this haircut. - I want a Franciscan friar
in the bedroom.
- I like when British people have them ear sticks
to out of their head.
Well there's so many people on that island,
so those genetics, they gotta get crazy.
- Yeah, yeah, very inbred. - You know?
- This ear came from my grandpa
and this one came from his sister
who's my grandma.
- [Dominic] Be mindful of your symmetry.
- I don't think they have enough make up
on these people's skin.
- I don't either, but I wear, you know, this, so.
- They have more makeup on than the model.
- [Stacey] Last to see the judges, Brandon.
- [Trixie] Brandon to the "Big Brother" house.
- Oh, this is rotten. (Trixie inhales)
(Trixie exhales) Terrible.
- Damn, girl. - He's going home.
- You have to do the skin right first.
- Yeah. - In order to pull off
some of this, you know what I mean?
Are we being haters?
- No.
Yes.
- The look that I would like to take for my shoot,
Paige. (room applauding)
- [Trixie] You better work, you (bleep), you (bleep).
- (laughs) Yes.
- She did a great job.
- She really did.
- [Trixie] That black skirt.
I wish everyone dressed like a hooker.
(Katya laughs)
- [Stacey] As final checks commence--
- Oh, they get little curtains so they can't see each other.
Love that.
- This guy doesn't look any different to what--
- It is a wig! - Yeah, no (bleep).
- She's the old lady and he beat her up.
That's why I been winning challenges.
- [Trixie] She said the secret is domestic violence.
- Yeah.
You gotta think outside the box.
- I'm nervous a little bit about the disagreement
between Tiffany and--
- This is dignified compared to "Drag Race"
where it's like, - Yeah, no kidding.
- "Your fucking family's trash!"
British makeup artists arguing - Yeah.
- which is like, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure either.
- I don't think we're currently
following the right course of action.
- I'm not being funny.
I love when British people say, "I'm not being funny."
- I'm not being funny, love.
- 10 more minutes.
- Oh. - Cool.
- Oh, wow-ee.
- Wow, cool. - Oh my god.
What a slippery slope lip injections are, huh?
- 'Kay, guys, that's it.
Time's up.
- She said, I don't know about this makeup.
(Katya laughs)
- Get up!
- So there was a little bit of a kerfuffle.
- That's British people saying (bleep) show.
- It's a kerfuffle. - It's a kerfuffle.
- [Stacey] It's time to see how the creatures
appear on camera.
- Fierce. - Wow.
- It needed more texture. - It looks like the top
was microwaved or something.
- Incredible effort.
- You never wanna hear that.
"Great effort." - Yeah.
Great effort but you sucked total (bleep).
- [Trixie] Like that has much more dimension.
- Oo. - Oo (bleep.)
That is literally me with no makeup on.
- You're a fucking fat (bleep) slob.
- If I was going to be a cantankerous (bleep),
what I'd like to say is dingdong.
- (laughs) What are they saying?
- Oh my god, oh my god!
- What are they saying? - Okay, oh my god, oh my god.
- "Ding." - The next time
I'm getting (bleep),
"You like that, baby?"
I'm gonna be like, "Dingdong!
This is (laughs)" (Trixie cackles)
- That is gross.
- [Stacey] And finally.
- Oh, fun. (Katya groans)
- My new style was bloodstains on our costumes.
- [Katya] That's not blood.
- [Trixie] You don't think?
- [Katya] No.
- I wanna show that I can work in a team--
- [Trixie] I'm just trying to get out
of the chimney sweeping business.
- Is there a felt loaf on his--
- That looks like a fake appliance, doesn't it?
- Okay.
It's a face mask
that's just under his beard. - It is?
Oh!
How odd.
- [Judge] After an hour he's applied one ear.
- One hour to apply one ear?!
Just put the (bleep) ear on.
- [Trixie And Katya] Ooo!
- Halfway through the challenge, he's done nothing.
- [Trixie] Oh my god, he ran out?
- [Val] He's having a panic attack.
- He's off. - He's off.
- [Trixie] Tilda Swinton said good, let him go.
- [Stacey] What's wrong?
- I feel like if I don't do it right
I'll never be accepted by me mum.
- [Trixie] I already got thrown out of Hogwarts.
- [Katya] I just gotta go out there
and prove this to meself.
- It's ironic that you're drowning
and your lips are a life raft that can't save you.
(metallic ringing)
One of my friends was telling me, he's like,
"It's winter in Chicago."
He's like, "You know how chapped
"the inside of my lips get now?
"'Cause my mouth never really closes."
- I saw somebody who looked like they had fixed
two of the Titanic lifeboats to their face.
- Do I know this person?
- Yeah.
Then what you have to do
is you have to get a lip lift
because it droops. - No!
- Yeah, because so then you have this droopy duck lip.
And then you have to get an incision here
and pull it up.
It's a lot to go through.
But, I mean, if you've got thin, villainous lips.
- He was like, "Do you have your lips done?
"I used to."
- Yeah. - You know what?
Live your life.
- Lots of different colors
in the rainbow. - We're not here
to critique your lip choices. - Yeah.
- We're here to critique your makeup artistry.
- Yeah.
- And also you as a person.
- And your family.
- Yeah. (metallic ringing)
- What I don't wanna see
is anything that droops. - Droops.
(gasps)
- (laughs) I (bleep) can't. - I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up. - Those look like dead
fucking insect legs. (Katya heaves)
Each of your lashes has a hemorrhoid.
- I wanna take Steph out to a nice lunch
and talk to her about when did the pain begin?
- I'm not even taking her out to a nice lunch.
(Katya laughs) Just an okay lunch.
You don't need a magnifying glass for that, Val.
- Yeah, you sure don't.
Oh my, I can't even (bleep) look at it.
It's like I'm watching a car wreck,
bunch of children in it, burning to death.
Horrible. - I'd rather watch that.
- Guys.
- I love when reality shows
when they've known each other four days
and they're like, "I was so worried."
- We're soul sisters.
- I was so worried you were gonna go home
and I would have to see you in a week and a half.
- (laughs) Yeah.
- Hey, you did a great job.
- Did a great job. - You didn't.
- Good for you. - You didn't though.
- [Katya] It was horrible.
- Turns out professional drag makeup
is a very developed skill.
- When you go into the store
and you see those feather lashes,
(Trixie cackles)
you say, no, never, ever, ever
buy a (bleep) feather lash.
Your lashes got little balls on 'em, don't do it.
- Can't go wrong with clean brown, clean skin, clean lashes.
Check up "Glow Up" on Netflix.
(Trixie moans) (Katya moans)
(Trixie laughs)
Oh my god, (bleep) off.
(orchestral music)