[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
I staked him. I really did. And he had clothes on when it happened!
Am I naked? I was unaware.
Though by Victorian standards we all do seem to be in our undergarments.
Oh, stop talking! I killed you!
Has this unclothed cad accosted you? I shall, of course, come to your defense, Fraulein! Huzzah!
Everybody calm down!
It's J.P.!
Well- the Library was gone, and taking J.P. with it.
An unpleasant prospect, let me assure you.
He needed an unoccupied brain. And I didn't exactly have one lying around,
until we visited the crater and I found- y'know- Will.
Oh my god. The duffel bag. We- we were dragging back his body?
I just- I thought I might need it!
For what?!
To Frankenstein J.P. into it!
This has to bother you! She- They- resurrected your nemesis!
Will was hardly my nemesis.
C'mon, Perr. You gotta admit this is pretty cool.
You reanimated a dead vampire and stuck a disembodied consciousness into him!
What were you thinking?
"Gee, this should be pretty cool."
But you, you can't just- you have to have- there are boundaries- to science-
and- and people's bodies- and common sense- and-
when this all goes horribly awry I will be in the kitchen.
With the door barricaded.
Making cupcakes.
Oh! Cupcakes. I recall quite liking cupcakes.
Then make your own!
Ah, you probably should have warned her. That whole staking Will thing was pretty traumatic.
Yeah, I didn't want her freaking out. Excellent planning, me.
This is just bizarre. Is Will still in there?
I don't believe so. Though I am awfully hungry. Or thirsty.
It's been quite a while since I've had sensation.
Ooh! Uh, the bad news is, he's still a vampire. C'mon, short stack, let's get you your own cup.
Vampire? Oh how exciting! May I join you in your lonely quest for redemption?
Not if you want to keep your teeth.
Mein Gott. Is it always this frantic?
Yeah. Last semester my roommate turned out to be a vampire and things kind of- escalated from there.
Which is why if you know anything about why Ms. Belmonde is planning on doing what she's doing next, then-
You'll forgive me, Fraulein Hollis, but the company you keep does not inspire confidence.
You mean Carmilla?
The former Countess Karnstein is infamous. Both as a ravager of virtue and a betrayer.
I know, but she's...changed.
Well, of course. Of course. Not my place to tell tales.
Unless, of course, you want to hear about my hunt for the mighty Yeti-Migoi in the wilds of Tibet-
Ah no. That's okay.
But- you know stories about Carmilla?
Ah, my family's story.
The countess was promised to my great-great-grandfather.
And he loved her... so that when she became a monster he hid her, and protected her.
And she repaid him by killing all of his family. And all those that he loved.
Leaving him to die alone, and dishonoured.
Just a- Just a story, of course. Distorted over time, I'm sure. Fraulein.
Fraulein.
Isn't learning history fun?
Yeah, it's hilarious that our best lead won't help us because you massacred his ancestors.
This isn't working. We're never going to stop Mattie this way.
Maybe what we need to do is what university students always do when skeezy corporations try to take over:
Protest!
The Zetas are pissed about their beer. The Summers are pissed about the Adonis Festival.
Everyone's got to be pissed about the Library- so I'll call up Kirsch and Danny and-
You really want to ring up Agent Orange?
Look, can you not?
I get that you're conflicted but I just, I don't have the brainspace to deal
with you being all insecure and morally ambiguous right now.
I need the kickass, heroic vampire girlfriend. So can you please just be that?
Of course.
Whatever you need.
See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices end theme]