Whoops!
Okay!
What'd you say?
What did you say to me?
Shoot-shoo- *HALT*
HUH?!
HALT!
Oh halt, OK I gotcha now
FREEZE
Move?
HALT
Ok, alright I'm gonna carry on with this video!
HALT!
Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to
Don't Tax Me Bro
the game where you have to try to get away from
people...
tryna stop you from getting-
FREEZE
-away with tax evasion,
And um- the- oh
*static noises* Halt!
I'm gonna just, you know....
try to back up and be a little less,
suck-ass about all this.
Let's just assume that I'm good at this game.
So it's an endless runner type game,
Where you gotta-
Hold right and move and-
I don't know what I'm hitting I don't know what's going on.
WAH GOD I'M HITTING EVERYTHING!
AH shit dude I am not good at this one.
OK but the point is,
OH was that a missle?
What the fuck was that?! *characters making strange noise*
What did you call me?!!
I don't know what's happening but apparently I'm dead or
have major brain dabblage.
So,
It's a quick endless runner, where you're supposed to-
For some reason,
Your-you're running away, but
also you're collecting money as you go
and these VERY persistent police officers-
Whahahat does that mean?
I don't know what-
THANK YOU!
You-you beat 'em up!
Good, I think I should feel proud about that?
I'm not- oohkay alright bye then...
You know what, I'm gonna calm down
Beause I need to actually
Calmly approach this, and see what the hell is going on about me.
Can I get som-OOH HEY.
How's it going assistants?
OH I can double jump!
Oh that's awfully nice.
I didn't know I could actually do that.
So, you probably have played endless runners before,
and I mean this isn't EXACTLY different than that, but
at least this one- you don't have to pay for.
It's totally free, but with this one at least-
damn it, with- with
this one- at leaaagh
DOGGY DOGGY DOGGY... DOGGY DOGGY-
...DOGGY DOGGY-
AHHH BIRD IN THE FACE
MA NOSE IS BROKE!
Tax season is right around the corner, I think a very important lesson
is to be learned here; when you are running away from
the police for your, not yet tax
evasion policies, NOT YET!
I mean, you're getting all this money, I don't
assume that you're actually tax evading...
...as you're running, because why would they break into your house and then...
chase you all around the city and then you're collecting...coins
that are just laying everywhere-woaa I don't know what's happening but we're going fast now.
Alrighty then,
scadoodly doodly
I don't know what that did.
WAS THAT A BOMB?!
I did not mean to detonate a bomb...
sir. Kitty cat you need to not do that to me.
Oh birds, don't jump-OAHHO
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!
It's GTA all over again.
Alrighty then
You know what I probably-FUCK
I was about to say I probably shouldn't try to make semi-con-
cuuck
semi-caaaa
*character yelling*
Starbucks? I dunno
Semi-competent commentary because it doesn't seem to be working out too well for me.
For most of you, or a lot of you you may not have to worry about paying taxes just yet.,
'cause you're not 18
Once you turn 18, you gotta start paying taxes.
So, with that in mind, don't not pay your taxes because that's bad.
I mean, that's probably- just-just...
I'm not gonna make any sort of social commentary about taxes and what they are.
But I mean, you know.
You you gonna-okay here's the long and the short of it.
So here-here is
Markiplier's Lessons, on the Social Dynamics and Implications of Taxes and the Virtues by Which they l-lead our Lives and Cause for Greater... uh...Social Services and Whatnot and Also You Know...mil-
Write that all out in big one piece text.
That-this is lesson number 1 of my 278 part series,
about taxes.
Taxes,
is where you,
pay money,
to the government,
to make sure,
that they can afford,
to run the country.
And that's all they do with it.
Lesson number 2:
For Markiplier's 278 part series about the Social DYNAMICS AND IMPLICATIONS OF-
fuuuuck
Can you guys, can you guys help me out
I've seemed to have fallen down and I can't get up.
You know, my back's kinda broken in 13 places.
Be nice. *Strange noise from character* Okay, that's-that's equally as helpful as helping me out of this pit I've fallen into.
I JUST WANNA KEEP MY MONEY
Hueegh
Don't take anything from me
Please, please. I carry all of my life's savings in a brief case.
I'm as cool as Johnny Bravo, come on
Have a heart
Agh, kitty cat don't-don't be a murderous bastard, okay?
Oh, who put all these crates on the ground?
Maybe you could stop the people that are just laying all this money around
I mean is it my fault that I'm picking it all-aoh
I'm glad one of you- riick a dick
That cat is out to get me
Ah
Again, I don't-that is just explodey. Like I said before
I don't know who's laying about all this money.
I don't know- what-why is there so many of you?
Missed that...
But it-it's not my fault,
I was ac-I'm actually running on my way to the post office...
to mail my tax forms because I'm very-
What did I hit? I fell in the sewers
AGAIN
Sir, I seem to be stuck in a giant hole in the ground. *strange noise*
That does not help me.
Could you throw down a ladder?
Like, you know...
...like a shovel, I could try to tunnel my way out.
A different way,
or I could keep digging myself in a hole
I mean that's an option too I can do that. FREEZE
Woah. Someone call Lassie, I've fallen in the well.
Alright, this time I'm gonna-I'm gonna go for the high score here.
My goal...
being thhhaais to get as much money as possible.
Which is admirable-oh it's coffee!
Oh, that's nice.
oh, ok
Ow. Beep, beep, beep. It's that darn cat that keeps-
ffff-
*Waala*
Even they were shocked to see what happened just there. This is really actually kinda fun.
I like this *mumbles*
Got a lot of obstacles that are very hard to see which is not common in a lot of these.
he hu he
There's a lot-there's like a slow down mechanic.
You know, that's nice, other then just instant death.
Uh not not todaay.
It's hard to know whether you're supposed to jump or not-AHY!
Ow, you shoved me.
OW, my shoulder, it's been impingeded.
*singing along to the music* Oh oh oh oh oh oh I will not suck,
and I will run very fast. I am going very far today,
now I will NOT lose to a damn cat or will I run away from yoouuuu!
I don't know where I am going but I know that cats are really angry at me,
and I have my buddies around me all the time, they will take a bullet for me if they really want to.
I don't know where I'm going but who the hell put all these boxes in my way?
And all these other things that are strewn about the city. Maybe these taxes could go to a ta-AH FUCK
When I run around and don't fall in that hole. Get my coffee go real fast then I'm zooming through the city
Grabbing lots of coins, no one can stop me now. Double coffee, yes please.
Espresso in my ass. Ugh
I've got my buddies around me once again. This truck is blocking that hole, don't think I didn't see that.
Didn't see the holes before this but I'm running very fast now.
GOING TO THE HIGH SCORE IS THE BEST-
Alright, I'm done. That's all it is for
Don't Tax Me, Bro
Which is just a demo. There is not even a select character option, or an options menu.
That doesn't work, because that's not needed for a fully fledged game.
But at least it was a lot of fun. I see a lot of potential in this one because it was just interesting.
I like it
So either way, thank you everybody so much for watching. If you enjoyed my songs let me know down in the comments below, I'm sure they were great.
Weren't they? Huh? I don't even remember what I said.
Okay.
So anyway, thanks everybody so much for watching.
And as always, I will see you...
In the next video!
BUH-BYE!
*outro music*