hi guys welcome back to my channel today
we are back with another self love and
self care video today I want to talk
about confidence and I want to start by
saying that confidence is a myth it's
not acquired by reading motivational
quotes from Pinterest or listening to
Beyonce
although that woman can get things out
of me no one can but my point is that
messages like love yourself and be
fearless are everywhere and yet no one
really talks about the hard work that
goes into building their confidence and
how it can be achieved confidence is
more about the journey the
self-discovery the finding who you are
and what you are it's not something you
can turn on and hold on to forever I
feel like there's so many little myths
that we have in the back of our minds
when we see those confident people that
we believe in but we're not giving
ourselves the room to grow and to go
after the confidence I'm sure that so
many of us have met people in our lives
that we like that person was just born
confident and that is not true
people are not born confident confidence
is something to develop when you put
yourself in new situations and a new
environment to challenge you and that
make you face things that show you who
you are people that is confidence are
not people that just had it from the
get-go it's people that really got out
of their comfort zone to challenge
themselves that put themselves in
situation that made them very fearful
and not secure about what they're doing
and that made them confront their
challenging beliefs and push their
boundaries even further and that really
resulted and seeing how much more you
can do and how much more you have inside
of you and God gave birth to a whole new
understanding of who you are my favorite
quote is true confidence isn't
fearlessness it's having the courage to
jump in even if your knees are shaking
so acting in spite of fear is what
giving us the opportunity to build that
confidence
and I find that women sometimes we are
waiting to be completely ready to jump
on certain opportunities if it's with
work or at school with relationships and
we're missing out on big opportunities
so you are not more confident known as
more confident start working the next
thing that I feel like we all have in
our minds when we're thinking about
confidence is the fact that you can't
fake it and I think that is the wrong
perception and I'm not telling you to
fake it till you make it which obviously
we've all heard of but I advise you to
fake it till you become it and that's
something that I heard from a TED talk
by Amy Cuddy so little tricks and other
things that you can do to fake that
confidence inside of you are available
at all times one of those is power
posing putting yourself in power poses
before a meeting or before you go
somewhere where you not feeling as
confident as you should will really
raise those testosterone levels and make
you feel more in charge and more
powerful putting yourself in that power
position will trick your mind into
feeling more confident and more at ease
and less stressed and will make you
ready to go and face that challenge that
you have in front of you we all know
that our minds change our bodies but
this is a study that showed that our
bodies change your minds as well a few
other tricks that I like to kind of
adapt at times where I need that little
confidence boost is the douche bag jar
but it's not what it is so if you guys
ever watch new girl you know that
Schmidt have this douche bag jar where
every time you said something douchey he
puts money in it so we're kind of
spinning it into something more
empowering this is a jar where you can
write little notes of small things that
you are proud of yourself for doing
small things that you've accomplished
small big doesn't matter they just make
you feel good about yourself and that
reminds you you know all these wonderful
things that you can offer and that
you've done before it can be your boss
complimenting you on a presentation or a
friend giving you a compliment about
something instead of forgetting those
small little moments write them on a
piece of paper put them in the jar
and whenever you need a little reminder
of how amazing you are
you go into the jar pull out a slip and
here you go another trick that you can
do is positive affirmations and that's
something that can come in so many
different shapes and forms I like to
talk to myself sometimes in the mirror
that happened I'm proud of it
who looks tired you look tired whose
amazing you're amazing you're gonna have
the best day ever we all need a little
pep talk sometimes so you can talk to
yourself in the mirror you can talk to
yourself just with yourself you can
write things in a journal just positive
thinking that you know you kind of
manifest and put on paper or vocalize
will really help in pushing that
confidence on yourself also things that
we have to start making ourselves do is
accept compliments instead of deflecting
them that's something that I find so
many people do and there's literally
nothing more disappointing that seeing
someone that just can't accept a
compliment it doesn't matter how you
feel about yourself but if someone tells
you something nice accept it say thank
you and move on with your day push
yourself to accept a compliment instead
of vocalizing how you are not worthy of
that compliment there's nothing that
shows insecurities more than that the
next trick that I like to do is to head
over to YouTube if I'm feeling
uninspired if I'm feeling insecure I'll
put my favorite song I have those like
motivational songs that I hear super
random that just make me feel good about
myself motivational talks on YouTube
wink wink you know what if I me go watch
some TED Talks
something that we're really kind of
awaking that spirit of confidence and
reassurance of who you are and what
you're doing the last important trick
that I have is to really change the way
you view an opportunity so many of us
have all these opportunities come our
way all the time and a lot of us because
of our lack of confidence the first
thing we say is oh I'm not ready for
this I can't do this it's I'm not there
yet
this way of thinking just keeps you
further away from reaching your goals
instead of
opportunities that way start looking at
opportunities and be the yes-man and be
the yes woman and say yes the things
because you accepted and you learn as
you go along you can ask for help if you
need to you can delegate if you need to
the most important thing and the most
important step is putting yourself in
those situations where even when you
don't feel ready you go in there I can
do it I'll figure it out
I learn how to do it I'll ask for help
I'll delegate it to someone I can do it
that will bring you much closer to your
goals and to building that confidence
that will show you that you can actually
do it if you never put yourself into
these situations you'll never be able to
go through that journey of building
their confidence another false believe
that we all have in our mind is in order
for us to feel confident we have to be
successful and that actually works
completely the opposite way you can't
achieve success without starting your
journey to confidence everything has to
build from the ground up so even if you
can tap into a little bit of confidence
throughout your journey in the beginning
that's really what's going to keep
building that building of success that
building of confidence every time you
show yourself that you can do more
achieve more you don't need a lot of it
to start your journey you need just a
little bit just that small little belief
in yourself to move closer to your goals
and to build that confidence and it
doesn't have to be perfect this journey
will never be perfect
perfectionism is not a human quality
this idea of being perfect is so
debilitating that it doesn't give us the
room and the space to make mistakes and
to go after what we want and achieve it
and especially for women
if you notice and I'm not sure what it
is exactly but men don't have those
beliefs men don't feel like they need to
be perfect to go for something for us
women it's like we have such high
standards an idea of what we need to be
to get somewhere is ridiculous
so I'm saying throw this out the window
perfect does not exist it's a trap and
if you believe in it you're not gonna
get anywhere because you will never be
time you will never be perfectly ready
this will never happen for you so by
allowing yourself to make the mistakes
to learn from them that's what's gonna
give you the opportunity to grow to face
your fears and do things that you never
thought you can do as a personal example
it literally happened throughout my life
and everything that I tapped into as a
teenager like most girls out there I was
having such limiting beliefs about
confidence and about what I can do and
what I can be that I never actually went
for things because I felt like it was
never the perfect time and I was lucky
enough that I had people that push me
and put me in very uncomfortable and
very scary situations that I couldn't
handle like modeling and it made me face
everything that I was scared of and I
had no other choice so those kind of
situation that I was put into made me
understand how all of these little
things are just steps that I needed to
make to start becoming the person that
deep down inside I knew exists but I
just felt so disconnected and far away
from her and once I just became a little
more confident and a little more
confident I just showed myself how far I
can get in everything that I wanted and
YouTube was the same thing I already
reached a certain level of confidence in
my life from my modeling career and at
that point there was no one else that
put me in that scary uncomfortable
situation and I knew that that's what I
needed to push myself and to grow even
more so I decided to be that person that
inserted myself into a very scary area
that I knew nothing about and that was
YouTube it was very uncomfortable it was
very awkward it felt very wrong and
there were so many things that was in
there were that I was so insecure about
if it's my thoughts and my ideas and the
way I speak and my accent and my grammar
and I just kept going and it got a
little bit better and a little bit
better and a little bit better and then
there was criticism and it just I kept
dealing with all these inconvenient
uncomfortable things and
gave me this freedom that I just hope
all of you can reach because that
freedom of knowing exactly who you are
and how strong you are kind of puts you
in this limitless state of mind about
all the things that you want to reach in
your life that's my goal for myself and
for you guys to always be that person to
yourself that pushes yourself and put
yourself and really uncomfortable and
weird and foreign situation a lot of
people have fine believe that in order
to be confident you have to be an
extrovert this is something that I
actually think is a really big myth
because I actually find that being the
loudest person in the room and being the
center of attention is actually what
shows me that the person is not so
confident so if you feel like you know
you're not always the center of
attention and that you don't have that
extrovert attitude to kind of take over
a room you don't need to be a confident
introvert exist and they're out there
and they're the most confident people
I've ever met so when you are in the
surrounding when you're around people
when you're part of a conversation and
you actually focus on other people and
not necessarily you're the only person
that speaks in the room it actually
shows you as a much more confident
person than the other guy out there that
screams and yells and has to be heard at
all times and this was one of the tips
that I gave you guys from eight ways to
look more attractive instantly and
that's something that I truly believe if
you have that belief in your head you
have to throw it right out confident
people don't have to be the center of
attention when you are happy with your
achievements and you're happy with
yourself and you content
you don't need reassurance from anyone
else so always keep that in mind
something that I've learned throughout
my journey of self-discovery and
building my confidence and building
myself and becoming the person the woman
that I want to be is that confidence
never sticks even if you're a confident
person and icons
myself confident I'm not confident all
the time in all areas of life there are
so many times in my life where I feel
like inadequate but I feel like I'm not
good enough and that's totally okay
you're gonna go through periods in your
life when you feel a little more
insecure a little less insecure you're
gonna find yourself in situations where
you just kind of lose that confidence
that you feel like you had in other
areas of life and that's actually a good
thing that's actually something that I
started embracing because that means
that I put myself in a situation that is
again foreign to me a situation where I
don't feel naturally strong and dominant
in and that means that I am at a place
right now I have the opportunity right
now to push my boundaries to evaluate
what's going on around me and see how I
can learn from it and see how I can
progress myself and build that
confidence in this area as well embrace
that uncertainty embrace that self-doubt
that is such a wonderful thing to
experience this is part of the growth
process and I want to finish this
conversation with something that is very
simple and that's the idea that we have
to make these big changes or to take
this big risk to get ourselves to be
more confident and that's another false
belief it doesn't have to be so big you
don't have to move to another country to
challenge yourself you don't have to
take this huge project that will scare
the hell out of you and won't let you
sleep at night to really put yourself in
a journey to become more confident you
can start small you can start with
things that make you feel a little
uncomfortable like talking to a barista
at your coffee shop like asking a
stranger something asking for help from
someone if it's unlike you to ask for
help and it makes you feel uncomfortable
those little things are building up the
courage to go after bigger things and
bigger things and bigger things and
those little steps that you take will
slowly make you feel a little more
comfortable with them and you can go
bigger and bigger and bigger and move to
more riskier
so be in tune with yourself see how you
can always challenge yourself to push
your boundaries to make you feel
uncomfortable to explore outside of your
comfort zone and do all these things for
the future you I hope you guys enjoy
this video and got something out of it
thank you so much for watching and I'll
see you guys next time
you