Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier
and welcome to Project Murphy
Now much like you I spend my Saturdays home alone,
making some SICK memes in Photoshop
but I thought to myself:
"Can I have some robot do all this work for me
because I'm pathetic and ready for the singularity to take over society
and all of us to be uploaded into the great computer?"
Well look no further; that time is nigh
because Project Murphy is here with Murphybot to make ALL your
meme-making and
masturbating troubles go away!
What? I said "meme-making"...
Nothin' else
You're weird...
...
...I like that
So the basic principle is you ask Murphybot a question
in a very SPECIFIC way.
It's like if Alex Trebek was a robot.
...and probably dead. Which he's not.
*deep and suspiciously* AS FAR AS WE KNOW.
So it goes a lil' something like this:
If I was to type a message
"what if alex trebek was a robot"
What is-OH, I misspelled it
I'm an idiot, look at that.
Look how dumb I am. I'm very dumb
Do the-what if...What if that thing I typed?
Whadda we got?
Ooh!
Euggghh
Now rumor has it that when Watson won Jeopardy
It drove him steadily MAD
And in an effort to beat Watson
*deep growly voice* Alex Trebek decided to become a robot
What IF--what if *butchered English* has legs?
heads has leg-
*sounds of disgust*
Eugghh, it's a lil' too mannequinny for me
I-uh-dunno. It's too WELL DONE is the problem
It's WAAAY well done
I-it's, it's waayy too well done.
Oh, what IF sims were real?
Now that I spelled it right, is this gonna be correct?
That's again, *grunt*
I actually played this with Holly and Ross on Holly's channel.
They introduced me to the game and uh...
...WHOO boy!
If you wanna see that, I believe they put up the first video today
I'll put a link in the description but...
...WHOOBOY, we got a lotta REAL Madrid
What if men WERE bikinis?
How 'bout some of THAT?
Do ya like dat better?
*disgusted noise* chhhuhhh
This...this 's inappropriate! Hang on a second.
Upon closer inspection, I believe...
...that this is just plain wrong!
What if...ALIEN were bikinis?
I'm ready!
I'm rea--
Nope, not that one
Definitely not that one.
*unintelligible babble*
Hahh...oh that's better
OOOOO I'm super happy that I get to look at THAT all day!
What if cars, were business men?
Gimme somma that!
Heh! Heh! *laughter*
Ehhh
I dunno why it looks
There's a shadow on it; why does it need to have a shadow?
It just looks like this guy is having a
HORRIBLE face mask on 'im.
It's like he PEELED off someone's face and just
slapped it on himself.
Gimme something else.
*laughs*
Aww man. Still with the drop shadow
But I like that one! That one's good!
*sips* I like it! Another!
*faintly* Ahh! No, my mug!
There was a cushion down there!
There was a cushion!
I was gonna add in like a fake breaking sound effect!
Everybody ignore that that happened.
Pretend that I was cool and I pulled that one off.
That was a good face! I like that face!
That's a quality face.
You're outta ideas?! Don't just give up!
SAD FACE
You failed me
What if...
trains...
...were people? Gimme something.
Gimme something good!
Gimme-euhh! Euhh! EUHH! EUHH!
EUHH!!!
EUHHHHH!!!!
EUUUUHHHHHH!!!!!
EUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Aaaaaghhhh
Waaaghhh
*away from camera* That's not right!
Ohh, Thomas The...
EUHHs
BACK, DEMON!
The problem is, it works REALLY well!
Like it works...TOO well! *laughter*
What if trains were the moon?
Y'want this staring down at you from-
OOOHHHH MYY GOOODDDD!
It's like a BAD version of Majora's Mask!
I mean, quote-unquote "the good version"...
but the MUCH WORSE version
What if trains were dogs?
I'm ready for it-
Ohhh god, that's not right!
What did you DO?!
*laughing* That weren't supposed to happen!
MEEUUHHH!
Ohh god, that poor dog!
He looks so cute, I just ...*laughter*
Can you gimme another attempt here, Murph?
Cause...(w)oof, that's not--here's an idea?
Okay, I'm ready.
Gimme it. Lay it on me!
Why is the tongue...
STILL gotta be under there?
It's just...
It looks like a very vestigial beard,
or like a neck ballsack
I'm gonna give you one more go at this.
If you can't get this right, holy shit.
I mean, i-it's better! This is better!
Murph, this is better...
But it's so not better!
What if trains...
...were Markiplier?
Ahhh, that didn't work out! No!
*amidst laughing* That's not right!
He's got a beard!
He's got a very festive beard!
One more go! An' we'll see how it goes.
AAHHHH! What'd ya do?
What is that?
What IS that?!
What is THAT?!
Am I turning into a cyborg? Am I a Terminator?
Did half my face get sheared off in an industrial accident?
What's happening?!
Do I have a parasitic twin?
On my face?
How about a...more STUPID way of phrasing this question?
What if TRAIN was Markiplier?
Ohh, that's, euhhh, that's nuh-
That's not right.
OH that's not right.
OH kill it with fire!
OOHH burn it in a pile!
OOOHHH bury it and cover it in cement 'n then...
Put sacrificial lambs on the grave so it NEVER rises
and haunts our dreams again!
Wooo, kill that!
Kill that dead!
I like it. Gimme another! Have you got one? Please?
Please tell me you got one
Oh god! Euhh! Oh jeez!
That's not good! That's not good!
That is NOT good!
OOOOO that's not good!
When it's small, it looks so horrifying
*growly demon noises*
One more. C'mon, you got it in ya.
C'mon, please. Please Murph!
*creeper voice* HEYY DERE LAYDEES!! YOU WAN-
*breaks into laughter* You wanna...heh...YOU WANNA
HANG OUT WITH MARKIPLIER?
I'M SURE YOU DO!
*giggles*
The problem is, it looks pretty correct!
Ahh, man. Alright.
What if...train...was LordMinion777?
I dunno if it's gonna have Wa-
OUP! It's got one!
OHH!
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH NO!
OOOHHHH NO!
OOHH NO!
OOOHHH NO!
If you didn't know...that's the FIRST picture of Wade
I've ever put online.
HOH NO!
OHH NO!
What if train...was Muyskerm?
Well! There's BOB! Who is Muyskerm...
But ya did it on the WRONG face!
I mean, if this is what I gotta...
My cherished memories of our time in college
as freshmen year roommates...
I do not remember being that hideously handsome!
How did he survive? Knowing, that I just laid awake at night,
with THAT face
STARING over at him when he was sleeping?
I'll give you one more crack at it
Just one more
OOOHHHHHHHHHHH *continues hhhh'ing in laughter*
HOOOOO BOYYY!
OH! That is amazing! I love that!
That is great! That is phenomenal! I'm OK with that.
Please kill it.
Please kill it ded
Please kill it, I'm not okay with that
I was just...I was masking my insecurities with
overconfidence; that is horrible! I don't wanna look at that anymore.
OH BOY, OKAY!
Okay, I think I'm done.
I want everyone to set this as their wallpaper, please.
We've got a whole bunch o' nightmares sticking with us
for the rest of our lives
I hope we can...eventually drink our problems away!
I can't drink, so I'm screwed
So this was a bit of fun, except for when it got terrifying
So that's Project Murphy!
If you enjoyed this let me know in the comments below.
If you want me to Photoshop anything a lil' better than this
lemme know as well.
'Cuz I, have a funny feeling that I can do a marginally better job
But it is nice to see the amalgamations of terror
that it conjures up from the depths of the internet, so
Thank you everybody so much for watching.
And as always, I will see you! In the next video!
Buh-bye!