-Guys, the big story is that today President Trump met
with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Finland.
Trump was pretty nervous.
So which makes sense, because most people are nervous
when meeting their boss.
[ Laughter and applause ]
They met one-on-one, and the meeting lasted for two hours --
or about one hour and 58 minutes longer than his meeting
with Stormy Daniels. And just so you know --
Put it in perspective --
[ Laughter and applause ]
But it was the first time Trump and Putin had met one-on-one
behind closed doors.
And this is very interesting, Trump actually released a video
to describe how excited he was to be alone with Putin.
Watch this.
-I think we're alone now.
There doesn't seem to be anyone around.
And I think we're alone now.
The beating of our hearts is the only sound.
-Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, according to experts, Trump and Putin had a lot
to negotiate in their meeting.
Trump says the negotiations went great.
Putin now controls New York and California.
And in exchange, Trump got three magic beans.
So it's very, very --
[ As Trump ] "Who knows what they do.
I don't know.
Embarrassing."
[ Normal voice ] Actually, at the end of the meeting,
Trump and Putin didn't sign any formal deal or agreement,
mainly because they both spent the whole time trying
to make sure the other guy wasn't Sacha Baron Cohen.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ As Trump ] "Are you real?" [ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] But after their time together, Putin did say
that the meeting went very well.
In fact, it went so well that Putin said he might make Trump
President for another four years.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Nice of him. -He said that.
A lot of people are talking about this.
[ Laughter ]
Trump and Putin also held a press conference
where Trump actually defended Putin and seemed to side
with Russia over his own intelligence agencies.
Check out what he said about 2016.
-All I can do is ask the question.
My people came to me.
Dan Coats came to me and some others.
They said, they think it's Russia.
I have President Putin. He just said it's not Russia.
I will say this, I don't see any reason why it would be.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, sure, if Putin told you, it must be true.
It's like, [ As Trump ] "Good enough for me.
My people --"
[ Normal voice ] What? [ Applause ]
But after the press conference, CNN, MSNBC, and even Fox News
slammed Trump for his performance.
Trump said he shouldn't jump to any conclusions until we hear
what Cartoon Network has to say. Then we know it's bad.
[ Applause ]
But, it wasn't all business at the meeting.
When he first sat down with Putin, Trump talked about
the World Cup. He sounded like a real expert.
Listen to this.
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
[ Laughter ]
[ As Trump ] "Soccer -- It's like foosball,
but with actual people. Just with actual people."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] Then he said, [ As Trump ] "And American football
is the one where I yell at all the players on Twitter.
That's what we call it in America."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] At the end of their press conference,
Putin actually gave Trump a soccer ball.
Take a look at what Trump did with it, watch this.
-Speaking of the football, actually.
-[ Speaking Russian]
-Mr. President, I'll give this ball to you,
and now the ball is in your court.
-[ Speaking Russian ]
-That's very nice. In fact, Melania, here you go.
[ Laughter ]
-That's also how he gave Melania her engagement ring.
[ As Trump ] "Here, just pick it up.
Take it out, take it out."
[ Applause ]
[ Normal voice ] Putin was like, [ As Putin ] "Be careful.
There's expensive recording device inside soccer ball.
So speak into the little nozzle when you --"
[ Light laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] Speaking of soccer, this weekend,
France won the World Cup and they were led by
a 19-year-old prodigy named Kylian Mbappe, yep.
After the game, Mbappe said winning
the World Cup totally makes up for being named after
a Hanson song.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ Mmm-bop, mmm-ma, mmm-ma, mmm-bop ♪
♪ Mmm-bop, mmm ♪
I know you feel it.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, and before he met Putin, Trump was in the U.K.
where he met Queen Elizabeth. Did you see that?
It got off to a bumpy start when the first thing Trump told
the Queen was that he knows all the words
to "Bohemian Rhapsody."
He's like, [ As Trump ] "Can you do the fandango?
I do fandango. Mbappe."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] You see this? When Trump met with the Queen,
they went to view the Royal Guards.
And he got a little confused about where to position himself.
Check this out.
[ Band playing ]
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my goodness.
-Oh, come on! What?
-Trump walks like every single tourist in Times Square.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ As Trump ] "There's a lot of M&Ms in that store.
Take a picture. That's a lot of M&Ms."
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] All right. Some good news here --
the 12 boys who were rescued from a cave in Thailand
last week are about to be released.
[ Cheers and applause ]
They're about to be released from the hospital.
They said the first thing they want to eat is KFC.
[ Light laughter ]
Then their doctor is like, "Dear God,
haven't your bodies been through enough?
I mean, good, please.
What are you doing?"
And finally, I heard that you can now buy high-heeled Crocs
on Amazon.
[ Light laughter ]
Take a look at these.
Yep.
They're great for when you want say, "I have somewhere to go
and nowhere to go at the same time."
You guys, we have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots!