Transcriber: kate schira Reviewer: David DeRuwe
I am Sathya Keerthi, aged 34, I’m gay, from small town Nellore.
Opening up to all of you did not happen in one day.
It is not easy to accept or understand what we don’t know or understand.
Ages-old practice has built walls between straight and queer.
I did all my schooling in Nellore up to ten standard.
I used to get attracted to boys in my class from class eight.
I am afraid of these feelings, but I never open to anyone about them.
After my ten standard, I moved to Chennai to pursue my higher education.
During my eleventh and twelfth standards,
I again used to attracted to boys in my class.
I am scared and afraid of these feelings.
I thought, this is a phase,
or this is a phase, and biologically I may have feelings towards women as I grow old.
After my twelfth standard,
I took up BSC visual communication for my graduation.
During my second year, I felt my attention towards men was not reduced.
The social stigma and fear of coming out to the world
has resulted in OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder.
By that time, I was not aware of what OCD meant.
After my graduation, I moved to Mumbai to pursue my higher education.
I have to do my photojournalism course in Mumbai.
I went to Mumbai. It was a new experience, new city.
For my final project, I did it for the essay on transgender person
through one of the LGBT support groups,
one of the oldest LGBT support groups in India and in Mumbai.
From there, I got to know there are many people like me.
I completed my photo essay.
Support group people and my teachers appreciated my work,
and I got confidence in life.
And then I took counseling from the same support group.
After three months of counseling,
I got confidence in life.
I became independent and happy for myself.
I saw many queer people who are younger than me, older than me.
And then I got the opportunity
to work with one of the reputed newspapers in Hyderabad.
And then I moved to Hyderabad, worked there for four years.
I became independent. I became confident in life.
By the time my age was 32.
During 2020, my mother insisted me to get married.
Not only her, everyone started asking me I should get married.
Then I started thinking whether to get married with women
or remain single for my entire remaining life.
Then I started thinking of my future,
planning my life.
I don't know what to do. I am confused state.
Then I feel like taking a break from my work.
I quit my job and went back to hometown Nellore with my mother,
and we finished all our personal pending works
and doing community activities also.
And then I open to my family and friends and to my dad that I am gay.
My mother still maintains silence, and she don’t know what to do for me.
After I opened to the world as gay
because I silently suffered from OCD and depression,
I saw many people,
many, many queer people who are younger and older than me,
who are continuously working for the community well-being all the time.
Many people left their jobs and doing activism for the community,
for the queer rights in India particularly.
I’m lucky that from small town I went to, big city like Mumbai,
got the opportunity for counseling before 10 years,
and then I took time to open to the world as gay.
I took time and ...
and then finally one day, I came out to world as gay.
It took time for me or for any person. Now things are changing.
There are people who are opening in early, early of their ages too.
I am lucky that from small town I went to Mumbai,
got counseling before ten years.
Even today, there are many people like me in small towns and villages
who don’t get this chance.
From then on, I have actively been involved in community activities
in Hyderabad and on social media too.
Understanding and getting acceptance in society is not easy.
In order to gain more acceptance and awareness,
there are LGBT-affiliated psychologists.
Whoever opens to their parents as LGBT queer,
please take proper counseling, know about Section 377,
understand it is natural and by birth.
support us, prevent suicides, and lead a pleasant life.
Let us start accepting diversity and embrace yourself.
Thank you.