when it comes to addiction not just any counselor will do. Which is why, in this
video, we're going to talk about the top six criteria (good counselor qualities) you need to be
thinking about in order to find the very best counselor (either for yourself. or
for your loved one struggling with addiction or that's an early recovery)
For those of you who are new to this channel, welcome. I'm amber Hollingsworth,
Master Addiction Counselor and you're watching put the shovel down, the youtube
a channel dedicated to helping you understand the psychology of addiction,
so you can recover yourself or your loved one from addiction and get back to
living the life that you want to live and so if that sounds like something
that you need to accomplish consider subscribing. Okay so now let's get into
the list. Criteria number one.... It's really
really important to pick somebody that has the time in their schedule to
dedicate to get up to you or your loved one that you're going to need I know a
lot of good counselors and good psychiatrist but if you can't get in
with them and a timely matter like it takes six weeks eight weeks four months
to get in with somebody and then once you do get in you can only come and see
them every three weeks or once a month because that's all the time they have in
their schedule that is not gonna do you any good because when it comes to
addiction when someone's ready to get help or talk to someone about that that
needs to happen quickly before the window closes and if you're just meeting
with someone every three or four weeks occasionally I'll do that just a few
times with clients for maintenance but I don't usually get into that because
that's really just like catching up and it's really awkward you can't get any
momentum that way so definitely pick someone that has the ability to get you
in a pretty quick manner and the time to dedicate to helping you solve the
problem that you want to solve okay moving on to number two make sure that
you get someone that is dual trained and what that means is someone that's
trained not just in addiction but someone that is also trained in other
kinds of mental health issues maybe someone's also training family
you're someone who's also trained and all the other kind of mental health
diagnosis that come along with addiction because rarely do we see someone that
has an addiction problem that's not also struggling with anxiety or sleep
problems or depression or some of that other stuff that comes along and the two
things are usually tied up pretty tight together and you don't usually make
progress on either one of those things either the mental health things or the
addiction without addressing them both now there is an order in which you need
to do that but that's for another video just know that you need someone that has
the ability to talk to you about both things number three look for someone who
has some flexibility of thinking and what I mean here is I don't know why but
especially when it comes to addiction like there's this sort of like I call it
like the conveyor belt treatment system where it's like no this is the program
and you got to fit in this box and if you don't fit in this box well you're
just not willing or you can't come to this program or we can't help you or
come back when you're ready to do whatever text you know that kind of
thinking because everybody is different addiction is the same it's pretty
predictable y'all know how I feel about that but recovery is different for every
single person that I've ever treated because you've got to have the ability
to think flexibly about how this particular person with their certain
circumstances found their path to recovery flexibility okay these last two
are super important number four personality maybe one of the most
important things to consider might be the most important thing you said it's a
pretty close tie it's personality does the personality of the counselor mesh
with the client this is so important one of the biggest things that I try to
figure out when any new person or family calls us is sure I ask some questions
about what the problem is but honestly the problems that come to us they sound
real similar because people come to us for a real similar problem but what I do
need to know a lot about is about the person what's the personality like you
know what were they like before the addiction because who are they going to
- are they gonna relate to someone that's more outspoken or someone that
has more of a softer quieter side who you're gonna fit with is of vital
importance because it's awkward enough to be talking to like a stranger person
about your problems you really need someone that you can feel safe with
build rapport with fairly quickly so you can get down to business
that personality fit is oh so important okay number five is definitely a biggie
you need someone with experience now I'm going to spend a little time on what I
mean by experience now a big issue in the land of addiction and recovery is
whether or not a person needs a counselor that is in recovery themselves
and I think there are pros and cons to that and I'm gonna take this little
moment right here to tell you what I think those pros and cons might be so
that you can make some decisions for yourself or to help your local mix most
people a counselor that's in recovery because they feel like that counselor is
going to be able to understand them and in some ways there is a little truth to
that I feel like people that are in recovery have a sketch I that is
slightly more developed so sometimes a person recovery can call out some BS
pretty quickly and I think dealing with addiction it's important if you're a
counselor dealing with addiction that you'd be able to see what the truth is
because otherwise you're just gonna be going down all the wrong rabbit holes
but a kind for having a counselor that's in recovery and this isn't for all of
them but this happens sometimes and I might say even frequently is that people
in recovery sometimes have a difficult time detaching their experience from
your experience and so there's a tendency to project what they went
through what they did how they thought how they felt what they needed on to the
person that they're trying to help and that can be a little bit frustrating to
be sitting on the other side of I've been doing this work for a really long
time and one of the things that I do is supervise other counselors and training
this is one of the things that I've noticed counselors that are in recovery
themselves they're either really awesome or really not that good because they're
blocked from their own experiences and they more than anyone else can get
really bogged down into this whole idea of there's only one way to do things
this work for me this is what you got a date I'm not opposed to that but that's
called a sponsor which is slightly different than a counselor but I do
think that it is extremely important for you to have someone who has experience
so I feel like a better question for you to be thinking or asking is how many
people has this person helped get into recovery that's a better question
because just because a person is in recovery themselves doesn't necessarily
mean they're gonna be good at helping someone else get in recovery sometimes
they are really good and sometimes not so much but that experience is essential
so what you're looking for is experience that can you get me where I need to be
now I know that this is a controversial topic and people get really hot headed
about it and people say no only a night it can
help another addict rule well I gotta say I won't really subscribe to that
belief and to be really honest with you I know I might get some hate comments
down here about this but part of that thinking is just a symptom of addiction
it's a way that addicts and alcoholics want to disqualify listening to the
advice of someone else and they'll do it no matter what if you're a counsellor in
recovery and you're dealing with narcotics like oh you're not in recovery
for meth you understand me or oh well you're not in recovery and have three
kids you don't understand what it's like to be a mom in recovery you know it's
like a constants like you can go to a meeting and they're constantly
disqualifying so that thing of no I've got to have this person or you don't
understand me or you don't know me honestly it's symptomatic of the problem
and even if you're dealing with a counselor coach or whatever this in
recovery that addict thinking will try to disqualify that while you're too
young well you're too oh well you got in recovery twenty years ago and it's not
anymore you know there's a constant reason to disqualify so I would not use
any of those excuses as who can and can't help you you're looking for
someone that's got some experience and knows how to get you from point A to
point B okay and this last one here is a little bonus for you if you really want
to have someone that's going to be the most effective and really be able to
help someone get stay and maintain recovery you really need someone who can
help you address the family issues because it's not just about getting a
person cleanness over it's about healing all the trust and the wounds and all
that mess that's going on within the family because if you don't address that
then the whole family system will continue to fall apart even if a person
is trying to get better and I hate to say it but often times will suck that
person back down into the case just because it's the norm and if you don't
deal with all that damage that's been caused it's just gonna be really hard
for someone to maintain their recovery okay now that you know how to select a
really awesome addiction counselor the next thing you need to understand is
when is addiction counseling appropriate because there are times in the recovery
process where it is appropriate and where it's not going to be so helpful so
in order to help you understand that I've created an entire playlist on
understanding addiction treatment options now I'm be really honest with
you here it's not the most exciting stuff that I talk about but it is very
very important the reason is because if you because if you guess wrong this may
be your last shot at this and if you guess wrong you're probably gonna waste
a ton of money and a ton of time chasing all the wrong leads so please please
please educate yourself about what the options are and know how to select the
best option for you now in addition to that playlist on understanding addiction
treatment options there's a link in the description below for a guide that I
personally wrote to help you understand all the levels of care all the different
kinds of treatment it includes you know what you need
what time how much it cost how to find it pros and cons of each kind of
treatment all the information that you need you can get it for free just click
the link in the description below