(upbeat music)
(foreboding music)
- Today's question.
What is the coolest way to quit your job?
- I'm Katie Marovitch, and I'm joined by Michael Trapp.
- That is the one who is me.
- Jessica McKenna.
- Hi there.
- Zachary Oyama.
- Hello.
- Zachary, would you like to begin?
- I would.
My first answer is, Hawaiian Skype Call.
What I mean by that is,
you Skype into work with your boss
and you are in Hawaii.
- Aah.
- And he's like,
"What are you doing in Hawaii?"
and then you're like,
"Oh, I live here now.
"I quit."
- Is this like, a very casual two weeks notice, like,
"I'll keep working for two weeks,
"but I'm not leaving Hawaii,"
or is it like a, you know what,
I'm gone and I'm already in Hawaii.
There's nothing you can do about it.
- Your new job is just living in Hawaii at this point.
- Do you start the Skype call in a suit.
- Oooh.
- With a plain background,
and then you have your new friends
you've made in Hawaii fly out the walls,
you tear off the suit, you're in a Hawaiian shirt.
Your phone is suddenly a coconut.
- Ohh!
- All of that is.
- That is super cool.
- Really satisfying.
- I think that might make it cooler.
- I feel like you just sort of hear,
faintly in the background,
just sort of hear slide piano and ukelele.
That sort of,
(imitating slide piano)
- It's like, what is that?
- I'm hearing something weird in the background.
(imitating crashing)
(pffting)
- That's right.
- Hawaii!
- And like dab sunscreen on your nose.
- Yeah.
- I peel off a fake.
- A fake nose?
And there's already sunscreen underneath.
- What about people who work in Hawaii already,
and they want to quit?
So where would?
- Yeah, this doesn't work for, if you're.
- Yeah, those people, they already know
they're living in Hawaii.
- Yeah, it's like, yeah I know you're here.
- They move to a different island.
(laughing)
- I think if you live in Hawaii,
you have to do opposite and you have to move to Alaska.
- [Katie] Yes!
- Start the Skype call in the Hawaiian shirt,
walls go out, now it's snow, bring on the parka.
- It's like fake skin that you rip off, and there's fur.
- There's a puffy jacket.
- There's so much fake skin.
(clicking)
- Jessica, would you like to go next?
- Yes, I would.
My idea is karaoke.
By karaoke, I mean of course we know that
this is a common bonding activity
for those of us who live an office lifestyle.
"Hey, guys, we put it in the calendar.
"In four weeks on Friday, after work,
"we're gonna all go do karaoke.
"Great way to bond."
- Totally.
- What you do is you start that plan.
You start that plan, you put it in the calendar.
"Guys, wouldn't it be fun
"to all go bond over karaoke?
"We need to understand each other
"as people, not just coworkers."
Well, you set the karaoke bar or the private room.
- Wow.
- You slip in your own song that you write.
- Mmmm.
- Oooh.
- And is it like a breakup song?
- That's great, starts as a breakup song.
Maybe even one that we already know.
Maybe it starts with No Scrubs.
- [Michael] Yeah.
- And halfway through,
"Hmm, this doesn't sound like
"the No Scrubs that I remember,"
and it's because
♪ I don't want this job ♪
♪ This job is a job that I don't want no more ♪
and you slowly morph your karaoke song
into an I Quit 11:00 number.
- Wow.
- [Zachary] That's incredible.
- It's really fun to imagine
really pointed criticism in song, just like
♪ Part of the reason that I'm leaving ♪
♪ Is that you created a very unfriendly work environment ♪
- Yes.
- [Michael] Really like.
- You give them notes, like constructive feedback.
It's not just you saying this job sucks.
- And people learn when it's set to music.
- [Katie] Oh, absolutely.
- It's memorable.
I could see that boss two years down the line still humming,
♪ This is because you created a hostile work environment ♪
"Hey, let me try better for my employees."
And you know, if there is pushback to going to a bar,
going to a private room karaoke situation,
you can always bring a karaoke machine into the office.
- Ooh.
- A more casual approach.
- [Katie] Yes.
- [Michael] That's interesting.
- That doesn't involve you paying off.
- And then you can bring that up too, it's like,
♪ This isn't the kind of office space ♪
♪ No one ever hangs out ♪
- Yeah, that's one of the points.
- So, once you sing the song,
is that the last song of karaoke,
or are you gonna hang out?
- Then immediately after, you sing
But I've Had the Time of my Life.
- You sweeten it up a little.
- You sweeten it up so that the people
who aren't your boss remember you fondly.
- Ah.
- And still invite you to their cool barbecues.
(clicking)
- Michael Trapp.
- Hello.
- Would you like to go ahead?
- Oh, sure.
Smoke bombs, smoke bombs, smoke bombs.
Look, when you go through the process of quitting a job,
it's not just that initial conversation of,
Hey, I'm leaving.
There's logistics to figure out,
you have to go through an exit interview.
They're often a little awkward,
and probably just the coolest way
to leave anything generally would be with a
(imitating boom)
- Yes.
- Like, big puff of smoke and then just being gone,
and every conversation you have
with coworkers after that, it's like,
"Hey, I heard you're leaving.
"Like, what's going on?"
You can just sort of be,
instead of having that conversation.
- Yes.
- Over and over again.
- Smoke bomb.
(imitating boom)
- Smoke bomb, out.
- I don't consider myself athletic.
How long would the cover of smoke
give me to make a quick exit?
Is this going to require that
I do a little training at the gym?
- Are you going to have to run away from the smoke?
- I think that's a good question.
The answer is probably.
- Okay.
- I think probably.
- You have to fully commit.
- Yes.
- I mean, I imagine.
I don't know if I've ever seen a big,
like a good smoke bomb escape in real life.
- Yeah.
- But I imagine it would be like,
(imitates booming)
smoke, and then the smoke kind of dissipates
and they kind of see you.
- Yeah.
- Rounding the corner.
- Halfway down.
- But, that's still cool.
- Very cool.
- Because you'd be getting into shape for it,
and that is cool.
- That's very cool.
- You've improved yourself.
You're improving your body, fitness,
probably your body image.
- Mental health.
- Yeah.
- Mental health.
You're getting a better job, hopefully.
I don't know.
- How many smoke bombs do you think you need for this?
- At least three.
- Is it gonna be costly or?
- You could purchase a lot of smoke bombs,
or if you're really committed to it,
you could learn the art of smoke bombery yourself.
- Oooh.
- If you're going to be getting into shape,
why not sharpen your mind at the same time?
- Wow.
- A little chemistry, learn what
really makes those smoke bombs tick.
- Sort of the current iteration of.
- Very funny, very good.
- Thank you, thank you.
- That's great.
(laughing)
(clicking)
- Here's an idea.
Buy the company, babies.
- Wow.
- Let me tell you.
This is my dream scenario for quitting a job.
I quit a job, someone in my family dies, which is not ideal.
- My dream.
Finally, my dream come true.
- Someone rich in my family dies.
They give me all their money.
- Mmhmm.
- Here I am with excess cash.
I buy the freaking company that I left.
Suddenly, I'm the boss, I'm the CEO.
- So this is a corporate Pretty Woman situation?
- Exactly.
- Where you come back and it's like hey, remember me?
- You made a mistake.
- The mistake was letting me quit.
- Yes.
- 'Cause you didn't fire me, I quit.
- I quit.
- The mistake was not knowing that my uncle was dying.
- And how very rich he was.
- And how much he loved you.
- And how vindictive and bitter I am.
- And how he had none of his own children and.
- Guys.
- The boss is like, please stop!
- The dream scenario.
- Dream scenario.
- Now, here's the thing.
I think it'd be cool to be in charge of a company,
'cause you can change the corporate culture.
You can introduce fun practices.
There could be a roller skating night, stuff like that.
- I think you just want to be an HR person.
(laughing)
- It seems like also,
there could just already be a roller skating night.
- No, it would be so much easier to
change things if you were on the very top.
- If you made people do things.
(laughing)
- Thank you.
Thank you, Zac, yes.
- What kind of company are you imagining?
- I actually pictured CollegeHumor.
- Okay.
(laughing)
- It's crazy.
- We'll go roller skating if you want.
(laughing)
- Okay, 'cause I did invite you all parasailing
and that never happened.
(clicking)
That's it for this preview of the Rank Room.
(upbeat music)
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Oh, thank God.
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Also, I have lupus.
So, two secrets.
- You pull up your dress and rip off.
- Yes.
- The pregnancy stomach you've been wearing.
- Flash everyone.