And it's 700?
Right?
Yeah
700
A little cheaper cause it's a sublet
but I mean you're not gonna find anything cheaper that decent.
Oh, it's cool if I'm paying cash?
Yeah?
Yeah, that's chill.
Boom
Done
Oh, that's a load off my back.
Yeah, and if it works out we can talk about next year.
Totally
I'm just going to, first, send a photo of this to my lawyer.
So, you're, you said you're a programmer
Oh, yeah, I was lying.
What?
I'm a government spy.
You've just said you're a programmer.
Yeah, I know, I wanted you to let me sign a lease. I'm government spy.
Oh, fuck. Okay.
He's crazy.
Which government?
The US government. Relax, it's chill.
Okay, what do you do for them?
I have this magical computer that lets me just watch people's lives.
Just follow their stories.
Oh, you can't tell anybody.
It's, like, I'm, like, a secret agent, you know.
But now that we're roommates we shouldn't keep secrets from each other.
I work from home.
So
Probably be here a lot.
Do you, guys, smoke weed?
Eavesdropping
Baggage (Episode 1)
Alright, alright, alright.
What are guys in a mood for?
I think of something sorta spicy.
Or we got more like chewy or tangy?
I'm down for something spicy. What do you think?
I don't care.
Alright, well, the gentleman wants spicy, let's give it to him.
Alright, so Sarah is this girl, she's super sad, right.
She wants to be a musician but she's working as a babysitter
And she feels like she's just treading water.
So, she gets this super sweet job, house-sitting in this badass apartment in downtown Brooklyn.
And she's also supposed to take care of the dog.
This dog?
Yeah
Boring, boring, boring.
She says goodbye, she sits down on the couch, she's chilling, watching TV, checking out the digs.
And then she decides to go up to the roof to smoke cigarette because she's cool.
Uh, smoke that cigarette, yeah.
But when she comes back
The dog's fucking dead.
So she tries to call, but they have already turned off their phones.
She's, like, freaking out. She doesn't know what to do.
So she decides she needs to take to the vet. She can't just tell them the dog died for no reason.
But she can just carry the dog to the vet.
So she puts the dog's body in the suitcase and heads to the subway.
Why wouldn't she just take a cab?
Because it was raining and all of the cabs were taken.
I mean, it's not raining.
Well, it's my fucking reimagine. Just stop asking questions.
Okay, okay, okay. Sorry.
So there she is on a subway, half-soaking wet.
And that's when she sees him.
And she can't describe it exactly but she could feel that there's something there.
And she could tell that he feels it too.
Because every so often, you look somebody in the eye and you just feel you can see straight into their soul.
Just by looking.
He starts talking. He's, like: "Hey, babe. Can I sit down?"
She's, like: "Yeah, yeah, have a seat".
He's, like: "What's in that suitcase?"
And she's, like: "Oh", she wants to impress him, "I'm DJ"
"Oh, that's awesome, DJs are awesome"
She's, like: "Yeah"
They're, like, really hitting it off and they even get off at the same stop.
You know, they're walking up the stairs. And she's, like, she might have found the one.
At this time next you they could be getting married in Paris.
Like, this could be one of those "New York, I Love You" things.
I didn't see the movie, but, like, this is the kind of a thing
But before she can go off and live happily ever after with this guy
He fucking punches her in a face, steals the bag and went away.
Wow
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.
Oh, stories.
Okay, this is why I hate the internet.
I know, I know. It's crazy. Anything you do, everything, I can see it.
I see everything.
I'm almostly God.