( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU EVER LISTENED TO MINNIE
DRIVER'S QUESTIONS? >> YES, I WANTED TO SAY IT'S FOR
US. NOT PEOPLE.
>> IT'S FOR MEDIOCRE COMEDIANS WHO DON'T WANT TO SPEND A LOT OF
TIME ON THE ROAD. >> James: WELL THEN
CONGRATULATIONS! MINNIE DRIVER'S GOT MINNIE
QUESTIONS. REGGIE ASKS A QUESTION EVERY
NIGHT. IAN, ANY QUESTION YOU WOULD LIKE
TO ASK THE WORLD? >> DO YOU HAVE IAN-Y QUESTIONS?
( LAUGHTER ) >> SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> James: I SWEAR, WE'VE HAD LOWS ON THIS SHOW.
THAT ARGUABLY THE LOWEST MOMENT OF THE SHOW.
SAY IT AGAIN. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
>> DO YOU HAVE IAN-Y QUESTIONS? >> James: THAT'S WORSE!
DO YOU HAVE IAN-Y QUESTIONS? >> IAN KIND OF --
>> James: NO, IT DOESN'T WORK. IT DOESN'T WORK.
>> YEAH, IT DOES. >> James: NO, IT DOESN'T.
>> Reggie: IT DOES WORK. >> James: IT DOESN'T.
I'M TELLING YOU IT DOES. >> James: IT DOESN'T.
IT WILL NEVER WORK. >> I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
>> James: YOU'RE SAYING NOT ONLY DOES IT WORK IT'S ALSO
FUNNY. DO YOU HAVE IAN-Y QUESTIONS?
IT DOESN'T WORK. NATE'S PIPING IN.
>> NATE, PROFESSIONAL COMEDY WRITER HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I'M ON YOUR
SIDE, NAMES AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN QUEST-IAN-S.
>> James: YOU'VE GOT ME THERE, NATE.
THAT IS IT. DO YOU WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN?
IAN, ANY QUESTION YOU WOULD WANT TO --
>> IAN-Y QUESTION? >> James: DON'T ADD THE FIRST
ONE! NOW YOU'VE JUST MADE IT -- DON'T
TAKE -- THE FIRST ONE DOESN'T WORK!
IAN-Y QUESTIONS? IAN, ANY QUESTION YOU WOULD LIKE
TO PUT OUT IN THE WORLDLE? >> YEAH, YOU GOT ANY
QUESTION-IANS? THAT IS BETTER, ACTUALLY, NOW
THAT YOU MENTION IT. ( APPLAUSE )
>> NO. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: WELL, LET'S GET INTO IT.
IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. >> THE NEWS!
>> James: AND THE WHITE HOUSE CONFIRMED TODAY
THAT PRESIDENT BIDEN WILL BE TRAVELING TO EUROPE NEXT WEEK -
PRIMARILY TO MEET WITH NATO LEADERS IN BRUSSELS.
THIS IS MASSIVE. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO
GET JOE BIDEN OUT OF D.C. DURING CHERRY BLOSSOM SEASON?
THE WHITE HOUSE SAYS BIDEN WILL BE TRAVELING TO BRUSSELS NEXT
WEEK, AND IF YOU THINK HE'S NOT GONNA REFER TO EVERYONE HE MEETS
LIKE, "CHECK OUT OLE BRUSSEL CROWE, OVER HERE, BUDDY BOY, YA
CRAZY." ( LAUGHTER )
MEANWHILE, THE PRIME MINISTERS OF THE CZECH REPUBLIC, POLAND,
AND SLOVENIA ALL TRAVELED BY TRAIN TO KYIV TODAY- TO SHOW
SUPPORT FOR UKRAINE ON BEHALF OF THE EUROPEAN UNION.
BIDEN IS GOING TO BE SO ANGRY HE MISSED OUT ON A TRAIN RIDE.
-- IN OTHER NEWS, THE PRESIDENT OF
FRANCE, EMMANUEL MACRON IS GETTING SOME CRITICISM FOR
SUPPOSEDLY COPYING THE WARTIME LOOK OF UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT,
VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY. HIS OFFICE RELEASED PHOTOGRAPHS
OF HIM AT WORK RECENTLY - AND HE'S DITCED HIS USUAL SUIT FOR
JEANS AND A HOODIE. FOR COMPARISON, HERE'S
ZELENSKYY, AND HERE'S PRESIDENT MACRON.
( LAUGHTER ) LOOK AT THAT.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE POWERFUL THAN SEEING THE LEADER OF FRANCE
DRESSED LIKE HE'S HEADING TO THE FARMER'S MARKET.
( LAUGHTER ) PEOPLE ARE SAYING THEY LOOK THE
SAME. I DON'T THINK THEY LOOK THE SAME
AS MUCH AS ALL GUYS KIND OF DRESS THE SAME.
LIKE THERE'S, LIKE, THREE DIFFERENT WAYS A GUY CAN DRESS,
THAT'S ONE OF THEM. THAT'S IT.
AND ZELENSKYY ISN'T THE ONLY EUROPEAN LEADER
WHOSE STYLE MACRON IS COPYING. THIS I HIM SHORTLY AFTER A
MEETING WITH BORIS JOHNSON, IAN, IF YOU WERE GOING TO COPY ONE
FAMOUS PERSON'S LOOK, WHO WOULD IT BE?
>> OH, MAN. I REALLY, LIKE, GOLDWISE,
EVENTUALLY I WOULD LIKE TO BECOME COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO
DRESS LIKE PETE EVERY DAY. >> James: PETE HERE?
YEAH. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: YOU'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO.
>> IT'S A LONG ROAD. >> James: YOU'VE GOT TO BE
LIVED IN. YOU'VE GOT TO BE -- DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN? >> YEAH.
>> James: THERE IS A LOOK THERE THAT SAYS --
>> DON'T DREAM IT, BE IT. ( APPLAUSE )
>> James: THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT. I WOULD LIKE TO DRAW YOU NAKED.
I WOULD. I ACTUALLY THINK THAT'S THE
GREATEST SHOW OF RESPECT TO SHOW ANOTHER MAN.
NOT IN ANY WAY IS IT, LIKE -- THERE'S NO EDGE TO IT.
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, A COUPLE OF BEERS, AND I DRAW YOU -- I
DRAW YOU A FULL NUDE. >> ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE -- LIKE
ONE OF THOSE FRENCH GIRLS. >> James: NO, I'M NOT NUDE.
I'M DRAWING PETE. IT'S NOT PORNOGRAPHIC.
HIS LEGS ARE DONE VERY NICELY, A DRAPED HAND.
I'D LOVE TO DO THAT. >> NEXT SEASON.
>> James: ALL RIGHT, I'D LOVE THAT.
( APPLAUSE ) AND DID EVERYBODY HEAR ABOUT
THIS? EARLIER TODAY, THE SENATE PASSED
A BILL TO MAKE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME PERMANENT.
IT'S CALLED THE SUNSHINE PROTECTION ACT, AND IF IT PASSES
IN THE HOUSE, IT MEANS THE CLOCK STAYS AS IT IS AND WE WOULDN'T
HAVE TO FALL BACK IN AUTUMN. WE ACTUALLY TALKED ABOUT THIS
VERY THING ON THE SHOW LAST WEEK.
AND NOW THE SENATE SPRINGS INTO ACTION.
IF YOU THINK THAT'S A COINCIDENCE, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
MANY LOBBYISTS WE HAVE INSIDE THE BELTWAY.
THEY'RE CALLING IT "THE SUNSHINE PROTECTION ACT."
WHICH IS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ALBUM BY ONE REPUBLIC.
-- MAROON5 ALBUM. SUNSHINE PROTECTION ACT.
SENATOR KYRSTEN CINEMA SEEMED VERY PLEASED ABOUT THE OUTCOME,
TAKE A LOOK, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE --
>> IS THERE AN OBJECTION? WITHOUT OBJECTION SO ORDERED.
>> THANK YOU, MADAM PRESIDENT. LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE IS EXCITED
ABOUT USING THEIR GAS-POWERED MARGARITA BLENDER WELL INTO
DECEMBER. NO ONE HAS BEEN THAT HAPPY IN
THE SENATE SINCE THE LAST TIME MITCH MCCONNELL INVITED EVERYONE
OVER FOR 'GRILLING AND CHILLING.'
AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS? EARLIER TODAY, THE EIFFEL TOWER
GOT EVEN TALLER. IT'S TRUE - A NEW ANTENNA WAS
ATTACHED TO THE TOP OF THE MONUMENT TODAY, SO THE TOWER IS
OFFICIALLY NINETEEN FEET TALLER. TO WHICH THE EMPIRE STATE
BUILDING WAS LIKE UM, IT'S ACTUALLY MORE ABOUT GIRTH.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS TRUE, THE NEW ANTENNA IS
FOR DIGITAL RADIO. YES!
DIGITAL RADIO! YES!
YES! JUST WHEN YOU THINK PARIS CAN'T
GET ANY SEXIER, THEY GO AND ADD DIGITAL RADIO?
BUT CHECK THIS OUT -- THEY JUST MADE IT EVEN TALLER.
( LAUGHTER ) IAN-Y ANY QUESTIONS IS BETTER
THAN THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
THAT'S THE LOWEST POINT OF THE SHOW.
AND FINALLY, DISNEYLAND IS OFFERING A NEW FOOD ITEM THAT IS
PROVING TO BE EXTREMELY DIVISIVE AMONG PARK GUESTS, READY FOR
READY FOR THIS? IT'S A DESSERT PASTA.
IT'S PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY PASTA.
HERE IT IS HERE: LOOK AT THAT.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) WOULD ANYONE HERE EAT THAT?
NO, YOU WOULDN'T, NO, ULTDENT. >> PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IS
ONE OF THE MOST EASILY ADAPTABLE FLAVOR FOODS.
IT'S A PEANUT BUTTER FLAVOR, SWEETNESS ON TOP OF A CARB.
>> Reggie: YEAH. >> James: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I THINK THAT IS A REAL LOW POINT.
I THINK IT'S A LOW POINT. IT WAS EATING THAT THAT GAVE I
YORE DEPRESSION. ( LAUGHTER )
>> I MEAN, IT'S ALL THE INGREDIENTS OF A DESSERT JUST
RECONFIGURED. I USED TO MAKE MAYONNAISE M&M
SANDWICHES >> James: STOP!
>> Reggie: IT'S THE SAME INGREDIENTS AS A CAKE.
WHEAT, EGGS -- >> James: WHAT KIND OF CAGE
ARE YOU EATING THAT'S GOT MAYONNAISE?
IT? >> Reggie: NO, NOT A CAKE, BUT
YOU SEPARATE THE INGREDIENTS, THOSE ARE IN CAKES.
>> James: YES >> Reggie: SO WHEAT, PEANUT
BUTTER, JELLY, IT'S LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER-JELLY SANDWICH
>> James: BUT LOOK AT IT, IT LOOKS LIKE WOODY FROM TOY STORY
MELTING ON A PLATE >> CAN WE HAVE THEM MAKE ONE AND
SENT TO THE SHOW >> James: YES, BECAUSE IT'S
BEST WHEN TRAVELED. NO, THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO EAT
IT. GET IT, PUT IT IN CAR TWO HOURS
>> KEEP IT SEPARATED, THEN WE GET A CHANCE TO --
>> James: SO YOU'RE ASKING DISNEYLAND TO SEND US SOME
PASTA, PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY BECAUSE HOW COULD WE DO IT
WITHOUT THE SKILLED PROFESSIONALS BACK THERE?
>> Reggie: THERE SEEMS TO BE OTHER STUFF ON THIS.
WE NEED THE REST OF THE RECIPE >> THOSE ARE POP ROCKS
REALLY >> James: POP ROCKS DON'T TALK
NOW I'M NOT GOING TO TRY IT >> James: ODDLY, NOW I'M
INTERESTED, RIGHT. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: THE NEW DESSERT PASTA IS POLARIZING, IT'S THE
MOST CONTROVERSIAL FOOD PLATTER SINCE THE FINDING NEMO SEAFOOD
PLATTER. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!