Hey it’s Marie Forleo, and you’re watching MarieTV - the PLACE to be if you wanna have
a business and life you love.
And this is Q&A Tuesday and our question today comes from an anonymous reader, while
I pull hair out of my lip gloss, who writes:
First of all Marie, thank you for being so badass and a huge influence for me to start
my own business.
You are so welcome.
My question is about relationships.
You and Josh seem to be "on the same page" as far as career goals and life ambitions.
How important do you think that is?
About a year ago I decided to start my business and change my life.
My boyfriend of 4 years is extremely supportive, but I feel like we're not on the same page.
I want to live and travel and experience and conquer.
Go girl.
He's happy working on the assembly line until retirement; working long days, and being constantly
tired with limited time off.
This concerns me because I'd like to have kids someday.
He'd rather stay home and sleep than go out and experience life with me.
He makes a good paycheck but has no desire to make a living doing something he's passionate
about or even explore other options.
I love him, and we get along famously, but will our different outlooks ultimately get
in the way of me living my best life?
Girl, that’s a big question.
Big!
First thing I wanna say, is that this is a really tricky situation and there is no right
answer.
I mean, I’m sure there’s couples out there that have totally different life goals and
ambitions, and they’re as happy as clams.
Likewise, having different career goals and life ambitions can be a valid reason to have
a break-up.
I mean, after all, everyone’s got their own dreams and you need to have the freedom
to follow them.
But here’s the thing, you need to get clear on YOUR truth.
Because however your relationship is, is really a choice.
You get to design your relationship however you want.
Girl, you need to get honest with yourself about these four factors.
1.
The kids convo.
So I will say that getting clear on whether or not you want kids is really, really important
because this can be a dealbreaker right there.
I had a hell of a time, when I was dating all these different guys, trying to find somebody
who didn’t want to marry me, take me away to the suburbs, so I could start popping out
a ton of kids!!
Now I kept telling every guy I met that marriage and kids was pretty much off the
table.
So when I met Josh, and he already had a kid - I felt like I hit the lotto.
It was pretty quick after that we discovered we had very similar life goals and ambitions
- which included no more kids.
2.
The free time reality check.
Now, you say you get along famously, but all he wants to do is work and come home and sleep
and YOU want to travel and live and conquer the world.
Are you gonna be happy and satisfied with that limited amount of shared experiences?
Are you gonna be happy doing separate things most of the time?
You might be.
But it’s really something you have to consider and only you have that truth.
3.
Give yourself a “no guilt gut check”
Now here’s the truth and you know it, every single woman on the planet knows DEEP DOWN
whether or not she really wants to be with the guy that she’s with.
The problem is, most of us can’t get to that gut level truth because we’re clouded
by guilt.
We don’t want to hurt someone that’s really a good man and we don’t want to abandon
someone that we really care about.
Here’s what you gotta do.
Imagine what it would be like if you could be free of this relationship and your boyfriend
would feel no pain.
Imagine that there were no repercussions.
Would you feel a sense of RELIEF?
If so, that’s a pretty good indicator that you may be through with this relationship
and it really is time for both of you to move on to next adventure.
4.
Ask Yourself, Why Do You Want To BE In This Relationship?
Are you staying in this relationship because you’re afraid that you won’t be able to
make it financially on your own?
Are you afraid of not finding someone else?
Or are you just afraid of change?
OR are you in the relationship because you REALLY adore this man and you love who you
are when you’re with him?
Do you imagine yourself growing old together?
And if you do, at age 90, do you imagine loving the life that you’ve built together?
Being really honest with yourself about WHY you want to be in this relationship is vital
to find the clarity you need to move ahead.
So there you go.
Four factors to help you decide the future of your relationship when you and your partner
have different life goals and ambitions.
I think this is such a juicy subject that so MANY people struggle with.
And I know you’ve got ideas and experiences and stories to share.
Remember, the best insights happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com - so go
there and leave a comment right now!
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Stay on your game and keeping going for your dreams.
The world needs that special gift that only YOU have.
Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you next time
on MarieTV!