>> ALL RIGHT, WELCOME BACK TO WAMU MIDDAY NEWS.
>> COMING UP, THE MAYOR'S OFFICE ANNOUNCED A BOLD NEW PLAN TO
REVAMP THE CITY'S INFRASTRUCTURE.
>> AND IT'S ABOUT TIME. BUT FIRST, YET ANOTHER GAS
STATION HAS FALLEN PREY TO AN ARMED ROBBERY.
A SHELL STATION IN THE 4,000 BLOCK OF PULASKI HIGHWAY WAS
ROBBED AROUND 11:45 A.M. THIS MORNING MAKING THAT A TOTAL OF
7 GAS STATIONS TO BE ATTACKED IN THE LAST WEEK.
>> SHEESH. SCARY STUFF.
>> AND WE'RE TOLD THE SUSPECT REMAINS AT LARGE.
BUT AUTHORITIES BELIEVE THAT THEY NOW HAVE A CREDIBLE
DESCRIPTION OF THE PERP. THE SUSPECT DESCRIBED AS A WHITE
MALE. >> WOO!
>> LOVE IT!
LOVE IT! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU CELEBRATING?
>> OH, NOTHING. WE'RE JUST GLAD THAT WE KNOW
WHAT THE CRIMINAL LOOKS LIKE. [ LAUGHTER ]
AND HE AIN'T ONE OF US. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT? >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING? >> ANYWAY, THE SUSPECT --
>> WHITE GUY. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> WAS LAST SPOTTED FLEEING THE SCENE ON FOOT.
SO ANYONE WITH INFORMATION IS ASKED TO CONTACT THE MPD
IMMEDIATELY. >> YES, HELP US CATCH THIS WHITE
CRIMINAL. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>> IN OTHER NEWS, A PONZI SCHEME HAS SHAKEN SOME OF
MIAMI'S WEALTHIEST RESIDENTS. >> OKAY, THAT'S ONE OF Y'ALL'S
FOR SURE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> CLEMET SMITH OF CLEMET SMITH INVESTMENT SECURITIES IS ACCUSED
OF COMMITTING THIS EGREGIOUS WHITE COLLAR CRIME.
>> IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME. >> SMITH IS SAID TO HAVE BEEN
OPERATING A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR PONZI SCHEME.
>> NOW YOU KNOW BLACK PEOPLE AIN'T GOT THAT KIND OF MONEY.
>> HE WAS ARRESTED THIS MORNING IN BOCA RATON.
AND LOOK AT THAT. HE'S BLACK.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> REALLY, WHAT?
>> OKAY, SO I GUESS WE TIED. [ LAUGHTER ]
ONE OF OURS FOR ONE OF YOURS. >> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
NO ONE'S KEEPING SCORE. OKAY.
WE HAVE AN UPDATE ON THAT TROPICAL STORM WE'VE BEEN
TRACKING. LET'S HEAR FROM WAMU WEATHERMAN
DENNIS JONES. DENNIS?
>> THANKS, PAM. WE'VE BEEN PREVIOUSLY CALLING A
TROPICAL STORM. IT'S NOW UPGRADED TO A CATEGORY
4 HURRICANE, AS YOU SEE HERE, DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN ITS
PATH WITH INCREDIBLE HIGH WINDS. WE'RE CALLING THIS ONE
HURRICANE CHET. AND THAT'S A WHITE MAN'S NAME IF
I EVER HEARD ONE. >> I KNEW IT.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.
>> THAT MAKES TWO OF Y'ALL, ONE OF US.
WE IN THE LEAD, BACK IN THE GAME.
GANG GANG. >> GANG GANG.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO WAY.
THAT DOES NOT COUNT. HURRICANES ARE NOT WHITE.
>> UNLESS THEY'RE NAMED CHET. >> CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THIS
PETTY GAME, PLEASE? >> BECAUSE Y'ALL LOSING.
>> OH, HOW CONVENIENT. >> LET'S JUST GET BACK TO THE
NEWS. A FT. LAUDERDALE MAN WAS
APPREHENDED OUTSIDE OF A -- CRACKER BARREL.
>> MHM. KEEP GOING.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> -- FOR CUTTING BRAKE LINES ON
A DOZEN BIRD-SCOOTERS. >> YOU KNOW ONLY WHITE PEOPLE
GOT THAT KIND OF TIME. >> OKAY.
YEAH. SO HE'S WHITE, SO WHAT?
>> SO NOW WE'RE DOWN TO ONE. >> NOT LOOKING TO GOOD FOR Y'ALL
TODAY.
IN OTHER NEWS, A SHOPPER WAS APPREHENDED BY SECURITY AT
OCEANSIDE MALL FOR ASSAULTING A MAN WHO STEPPED ON HIS AIR
JORDAN'S. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, I'M SORRY. DID YOU SAY AIR JORDAN'S?
>> OH, THAT'S BLACK FOR SURE. >> DAMN.
>> I KNEW IT. >> I KNEW IT AS SOON AS I SAW
IT. >> RIGHT.
>> OKAY. AND HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
>> A LOCAL WOMAN ATTACKED A CASHIER AT A NAIL SHOP AFTER
THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HER WELFARE CARD.
>> OH, MY LORD. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> POLICE SAY THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A 19-YEAR-OLD WHITE --
DAMN IT! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S THREE, BABY! >> OKAY.
OKAY, WE'LL GET THAT BACK. >> ALL RIGHT POLICE --POLICE SAY
A LATINO MAN -- >> SKIP THAT ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT A MAN ON A ROCK
CLIMBING TRIP WAS MAULED BY A BISON FOR THE SECOND TIME IN
THREE MONTHS. SEE, Y'ALL DON'T LEARN.
Y'ALL DON'T LIKE TO LEARN. >> JUST KEEP READING.
>> THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED IN THE UTAH NATIONAL STATE PARK.
>> NOT LOOKING GOOD. >> THE FAMILY OF THE MAN NOW
IDENTIFIED AS LAQUAN TANKIN. BABY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> WHAT AN UPSET. >> I MEAN A LAQUAN?
ROCK CLIMBING? IN UTAH?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT.
NEXT ONE TAKES THIS.
A MAN DRESSED AS THE JOKER -- DAMN IT!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> WOO!
>> GOOD GAME. GOOD GAME.