Welcome back to my Dark Corner of This Sick World.
‘Who’s over there?’
Directed by Bruno Mattei, Hell of the Living Dead is also known as Virus,
but I think we’ll stick with the former title.
‘You’re all doomed to a horrible death’
Something has happened in this chemical plant.
‘My God, the needle’s running right off the scale’
That’s cos you’re turning the knob. But then…
What can this mean?
‘Some kind of degenerative process has begun which may be catastrophic for everybody’
The film then leaps jarringly into the siege of an embassy.
‘Bunch of crazy Goddamn terrorists’
But don’t worry, they’ve called in a crack squad to deal with it.
The fate of the world in safe hands as the film makes another jarring cut,
'Eagle calling base, we've landed in a large native graveyard.'
to New Guinea where the chemical plant is located.
Nowhere near where they’ve been dropped,
without food and with no idea of what they will be facing.
‘We’re awaiting further instructions’
Frankly, it’s like the authorities don’t care about the zombies they just want these guys out the way.
‘When did you start worrying about our balls, daddy.’
For last time stop calling me daddy.
But they’re not alone.
‘They look like monsters.’
'They could be drunk, or maybe a leper colony.'
Reporter Lia, and Pierre, her cameraman, have arrived to report on this dangerous situation,
and, for reasons passing understanding, have brought along two friends and their child.
‘These bright ideas you get. Bringing a 7 year old child into this.’
It’s almost as if Mattei just wanted a zombie kid,
in the same way he wanted a zombie priest…
zombie granny…
and water zombies…
which ambush Lia and Pierre, how will they escape?
‘We could probably make a run for it.’
'Ok, let's go!'
I mean, when he said ‘make a run for it’ I assumed around,
but through seems to work just as well.
Now the squad arrives.
‘No, hold it,’
Good call, he might be sick or something,
you still don’t know what’s going on here.
‘I get the first shot’
Okay, you went a different way, but I’m sure they won’t just be killing indiscriminately.
Wow if the kid gets it without any hesitation or remorse.
'Leave it to me.'
I’m thinking that sets the tone,
but they have learnt something useful…
‘All you have to do is shoot it right through the head.’
Given that’s going to save my life, I will remember to shoot it in the chest…
‘The head!’
Got it.
The chest.
‘You need to hit their heads! Fools. Like this!’
They never learn.
I think mainly because gunshots to the chest are easier to fake.
Anyway, with the reporters in tow, the journey to the chemical plant continues but…
‘I don’t like the sound of those drum beats.’
The natives are restless. Unsurprising since they’ve come all the way from another movie.
Fortunately,
‘Lia knows everything about the natives here’
'She spent a whole year living with a tribe.'
and she knows there is only one way to win their trust.
They’re a simple people, but they respect a nice pair of boobs.
Having placated the natives with her rack,
Lia brings bad news.
‘The whole village is contaminated.'
'There have been many deaths and now they are celebrating the funerals.’
So of course they settle in for the night and…
Really shouldn’t be a surprise.
Although these guys only seem to be zombies from the knee down.
Weirdest budget cut I’ve ever seen.
‘Why the long face? Something eating you?’
Well that’s in very poor taste.
Although in his defence, the zombies don’t always seem like a massive threat.
‘You can’t catch me, get back to your graves.’
Other times they do,
It sometimes seems they just don’t want to eat the crazy guy.
Until they do.
‘Get back, get back’
I can’t believe yelling ‘get back’ didn’t work.
If only there’d been some way of killing them.
‘The only way to kill them is a bullet right through the head.’
Well you can’t blame them for that, it’s very hard to remember.
They are now at the chemical plant and…
‘It all begins to make sense.’
Yes, this is obviously a government project to tackle overpopulation in the 3rd world.‘
Just cause them all to eat each other.’
She has seen nothing to back that up.
‘Ah, science fiction. What a load of crap.’
We’ve now reviewed 3 Bruno Mattei films and they all have the same basic plot.
‘What are you talking about?’
Corporate science vs a squad of maniacs who are presented as the best of the best,
‘Damn it! I don’t think that’s funny.’
Even as they play dress up deep in enemy territory,
while displaying a complete absence of common sense.
‘Those white patches, what are they?’
‘Could be buildings’
With some borrowed footage thrown in…
'This is another serious problem we have to discuss.'
'Hundreds of our fellow countrymen are in flight throughout the land.'
In this case, quite a lot.
Which is funny because, regular viewers may recognise some of this film
as it was redubbed into Corona Zombies
which we reviewed earlier this year for Dark Corners Streaming.
'Oh my God, have you seen this?'
What goes around comes around.
'Trust you to ruin everything.'
Thanks for watching.
To see an uncensored version of this review, join us on Patreon as an acolyte.
Bruno Mattei is the king of rip-offs and we’ve only done three of his films.
Which should we look at next. Let us know in the comments below.
'It's all over now, don't worry, it's all over.'