- Today, we break bread and rank it.
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat theme music)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Just a reminder, in addition to a new episode
of G-Double M every weekday, make sure to pop by
on Saturday for our brand new, behind-the-scenes,
off-the-cuff, anything-can-happen show,
Let's Talk About That, but today, let's talk about
my favorite word in the English language, free.
- Nothing in life is free except hotel shampoo,
hugs, and Netflix using your dad's login.
But there's one more thing in life that's free,
and it's probably the greatest free thing of 'em all,
even better than hugs, and that is restaurant bread.
- Now, if you're gonna fill up on free restaurant bread,
which restaurant bread should it be.
Today, we're gonna determine the best.
It's time for, This is a Bread Basket,
You Got Me Munchin' on,
You Gon' Spread Butter on,
Look How I'm Rankin' Em, woo.
We blew our entire budget obtaining free breads
from six different restaurants.
Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, Red Lobster,
Cracker Barrel, Texas Roadhouse, and Outback Steakhouse.
- And we're gonna be ranking them on a scale
of one to six, as follows.
Our yeast favorite.
I don't want naan of this.
Ciabatta be kidding me!
On the rise.
Baguette me more of this!
And Rolls Royce.
- Alright, let's get to tasting some bread.
- [Together] Round one.
- The classic Olive Garden breadsticks,
140 calories per serving.
- Look at it, it's, you know,
it is a perfect-looking piece of bread.
- It's a bread log, man.
- It's as if a giant made a sub.
- And listen to this,
Olive Garden - Gotten shrunk down.
- Serves an average of 675 million breadsticks a year.
That's freakin' nuts, man.
- Look at that. - They push the unlimited
nature of 'em, and so what I find myself doing is,
A, only eating these at Olive Garden,
and not eating anything else, like the lasagna.
But then I'll take a whole bunch of these home, you know.
And they'll harden.
- You put 'emi in your shirt?
You made it look like.
- Yeah. - Put 'em in your pants?
- My mom has put them in her pocketbook, okay.
This was growing up, we would eat Olive Garden a lot.
Take 'em home, the next day they've hardened
and you can build structures out of them,
like retaining walls for landscaping.
- Okay, you don't eat them, you just build with them.
- I don't have to eat it, 'cause I know what it tastes like.
It's great. - It's got
a yeasty-ness to it.
- It's very good.
Of course, we're gonna move 'em in the ranking.
So probably to start off with, we're gonna put it
somewhere in the middle, three-ish.
- Okay, I'm okay with that.
- We'll move it around later.
- [Together] Round two.
- Next up we have Cheesecake Factory's famous brown bread.
- There you go.
- It is very brown, it has, what is that, oats?
- Oat flecks. - It looks like oats.
- Now, the last time I went to Cheesecake Factory,
the waiter came up to me, as he handed us the bread,
he said, a little secret, you should dip that brown bread
in ranch, it'll blow your mind.
And then he brought ranch back.
- He brought ranch?
- And I dipped it in there, and I was like,
uh, it's pretty good, but it's not blowing my mind.
- Yeah, it seems a little weird actually.
- It was like he thought he had come up
with some very special thing.
- I mean, it's a wheat bread roll.
I'm actually surprised, the magic of Cheesecake Factory
surrounding the bread kind of makes it better, I'm thinking.
- This really receives butter very well.
- Better than ranch, you say?
- This is a higher-quality bread than Olive Garden bread.
- Yeah.
- That tastes like it was shot out of a,
some sort of a tube somewhere, where a robot was in charge.
- Like extruded. - Yeah.
- You just extrude this.
- It's like Play-Doh bread, you know.
In fact, there's probably a four-year-old in the back
putting it into, - Rolling it
out like snakes.
- An Easy-Bake Oven.
But this is like, I feel like there's a chef back there.
- You're saying this is better, how much better?
- I think there's a chef at Cheesecake Factory, guys.
I'm pretty sure there is.
- Yeah, how much better is the question, though.
- Eh, that much better for now.
- [Together] Round three.
- Next up we have Red Lobster's cheddar bay biscuits.
Wooo daddy.
- These, these are special.
These are so special, they don't even need butter.
- You can buy the box mix in the store
and make this at home, am I right?
- Oh my gosh.
You know, Beyonce has a condition on which
she will take you to Red Lobster.
(crew laughs)
- I'm familiar with the tune.
And it goes so well together.
- It might be worth it.
- What we're saying is cheddar bay biscuits are
quite the aphrodisiac.
- No, I think it's the other way around.
- It's like, well, okay, whatever,
you can do your own research.
- They're heavenly, gosh.
- It's so good, it's flaky, it's perfect.
Speaking of Beyonce, my aunt Swan would always go
to Red Lobster.
- You have an aunt that's a swan?
- Well, she's no longer with us,
but her name was Swan.
Very sweet woman, and she knew where to get the cheddar bay.
So every time I think of these, I think of my aunt Swan.
- Now, I mean, I feel really strongly that these
are gonna be the best thing we taste.
But, if you wanna leave some room, we can put 'em at two.
- [Together] Round four.
- And now for some biscuits and cornbread
from Cracker Barrel.
Now they give you two kinds of bread at Cracker Barrel,
and we could not find one of these in Los Angeles,
we had to drive all the way to Victorville
to the nearest Cracker Barrel to pick up this bread.
- Yeah, that's right, I mean they're not go-able.
I wonder if there's one in Tokyo.
- What?
- I said I wonder if there's one in Tokyo.
- What?
- I said, no, check this out guys.
In honor what he just did,
we turned it into a t-shirt that you can buy
at mythical.store.
And you can buy these at Cracker Barrel,
if you drive to Victorville,
or you live near any interstate
in, I think, the southeast, I don't know.
- Yeah, they're all over the southeast.
- You're gonna go for,
- [Rhett] I'm gonna go for both.
- I'm gonna go for the biscuit.
The biscuit looks like a KFC biscuit,
it's not as much flaky as it is.
- This is really, really, really good bread.
It's a little dry without anything on it,
and both of 'em are good,
and I like the fact that they throw both of 'em
at you as the same time.
- I love that. - Don't make a choice.
- They give you options. - Just embrace both.
- It's a really good biscuit.
It's really good cornbread.
They give the suggestion of the butter and the jam.
- Blackberry jam on a biscuit,
that's great for me, I love that.
It's not cheddar bay biscuit level, though.
That is an entity in and of itself of magic.
- Yeah, the cheddar bay biscuit represents
a unique creation that they can call their own.
This is actually just a representation
of really good country cooking,
which for me puts it above,
no chance it's not better than Cheesecake Factory bread.
- Yeah, 'cause that's just wheat bread,
again, if you take this out of Cheesecake Factory,
it loses is wow factor.
But the Cracker Barrel, it holds up
in just this place.
- [Together] Round five.
- And next up, Texas Roadhouse rolls,
made from scratch and baked every five minutes, Rhett,
slathered with homemade, melted honey cinnamon butter.
- Yeah, and listen, that is a special touch.
I'm saying that the full presentation of the bread,
including the, oh gosh, I'm getting excited,
the sides that they serve with it is all part of it.
I mean, look how that butter just, it gives.
It just keeps on giving.
- [Link] Give it to me.
- Look how much it gives, it's whipped.
- Now here is a confusing fact,
the first Texas Roadhouse location
was in Clarksville, Indiana, opened in 1993.
The Texas Roadhouse company headquarters
is based in Louisville, Kentucky.
- Well, you gotta take a road trip
from Texas to get to both of those places.
- True, that's it.
- You know, the good news about these is each roll
is only 350 calories,
without the butter.
- Without the butter, dang.
- I mean look how shiny they are.
I kind of just wanna lick the outside of it.
- I know, like, look at my fingers.
- Oh do that. - Daddy shiny fingers.
- No, Daddy, lick that.
Just lick the outside, trust me.
Is that everything you thought it would be?
- Hey, next time you go to a Texas Roadhouse,
look in the corner booth, you'll see me over there.
- Mommy, that man's licking his rolls.
Well honey, you oughta try it before you judge him.
Now he's just leaving his tongue out.
Boy, that's a lot better than I thought it would be.
These are reallY good.
In my opinion,
- Are you crying a little bit? - A little bit.
These are better than Cracker Barrel, I hate to say it.
- You're right.
- They're more unique. - You're right.
You're right, a matter of fact,
they make me now hate Cracker Barrel.
- Oh no, oh no, no, no.
- Slidey, slidey.
- Definitely better than those,
we've already established that order.
- Now, I don't know what's next yet,
but I'm leaving hope that there's some magical
free bread that's gonna topple Red Lobster.
- I do know what's next.
- [Together] Round six.
- The Outback Steakhouse brown bread.
- Okay, you're right, here it is.
- More brown bread.
- Look at that, there's a whole one for you.
- Just when you thought you didn't have enough brown bread.
- They got two different types of butters,
a whipped butter, and this is the more solidified butter.
- Bread-wise, before we get to the butter.
- Is that right? - I think os.
- Whipped butter? - It's a honey butter
and a regular butter>
Before we get to the butters, what I will say is that
smell alone, smell test,
it smells just like Cheesecake Factory,
but it doesn't have oatmeal on the outside of it,
so I don't know what.
- It doesn't smell exactly like it.
- It smells stronger, there's a little bit more
of a bready smell, but it's in the same family.
It's in the brown bread family.
- [Link] Take a little bit of this.
- You definitely go whipped, right.
- Remember when Outback was accused
of being a den of Satanists?
- Yeah, because they are.
Oh, try the honey butter.
- Is that a good thing?
Ooh yeah.
- But is the bread really doing,
how much is the bread doing for you?
'Cause the butter's good
- The butter's free.
- And like I said, the butter's part of the whole package.
- It is, and I think this really does
bump it up above the Cheesecake Factory.
- But does it beat Cracker Barrel at this point?
'Cause they've got butter and jam.
- No, there's no way.
- Alright. - There's no way.
- So is this what we're saying right here?
- This is what we're saying.
Olive Garden, much to my, I don't know, hold on.
I don't think that the Olive Garden logs
should be at the bottom of the stack.
- Retaste.
- They're fun, Italian-themed logs
of lasagna companion.
- You wanna wedge that log right
in between the two brown breads?
- Either that, or right here.
I mean we're either talking about this or this.
- Put that log in between the two buns of brown bread.
- That's what it's gonna be, right there.
- Hey, there it is, the definitive free bread order.
- Texas Roadhouse, you made a good run for the money,
but Red Lobster comes out on top.
- The cheddar bay biscuits cannot be beat.
- Mmhmm, thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- I'm Becca.
- And I'm Callie.
- [Together] And we're at Boomers in Southern California,
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Gross.
- I don't know what that was.
- It was boomin'!
- I don't think it was bread.
Click to the top link to watch us eat
cheddar bay biscuit French toast,
- What? - In Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is going to land.
The GMM Tokyo T - What?
- [Link] Is the wildest all-over print T
you never knew you needed.
Get it now at mythical.store.