The decision to watch porn and how to decide, again, I'm Dr.
Trish Leigh, stay with me in this video because I'm going to break down
three aspects of decision making as it applies to consuming pornography.
Then number four is your brain tip strategy for the day.
I want these videos to be actionable, so stay with me until the end.
So you know how to take a new action step and in the middle,
I'm going to tell you a story, hopefully to make it gel.
OK, so let's get started.
Number one, what is the decision?
A decision is a conclusion that you reach based upon a belief.
So when we make all decisions, it's because we have beliefs and values in us
that compel us or move us in the direction of that decision.
And that's how it goes for all decisions.
I want you to know
that I want you to think about that because it's an interesting concept.
So then what follows
is a decision after the decision,
depending upon the belief that you made it with is a consequence or an outcome.
So if the decision that you made is founded on guilt and shame,
it leads to suffering always.
If the decision that you made
is based on integrity and honesty,
it leads you to freedom.
So I want you to know that too.
So when you make the decision to consume pornography,
it's based upon guilt and shame.
We know that from the science.
And the more you consume pornography,
the more guilty and the more the shame builds up.
And that leads to suffering and from the science.
We know that the suffering ends up physically and erectile dysfunction
mentally in anxiety and depression, general malaise,
lack of motivation cognitively or in terms of thinking.
It ends up in brain fog and lack of focus and attention.
Suffering shows up in your relationships.
It ends up in strain with your partner,
with your honey, with your children, with your friends.
Suffering shows up when you make the decision based on guilt and shame.
So here's the question for you for today and this is number three.
What is the goal of the decision that you're making?
So we know that what happens in your brain when you go back into the screen
is that you end up making decisions based upon
short term gain, long term loss.
What happens in your brain because of the way that it's rewired
from consuming pornography is that it just wants the dopamine
hit quickly without having to work for it.
So you go to the easy button to get instant relief from the suffering
that porn is actually creating, and it becomes a vicious, vicious cycle.
So what I want for you, the goal that I want for
you is peace and happiness.
What is peace? Peace
is the feeling and the state
of a quiet mind that you can hear
and feel your authentic self within you.
You are here in the in the middle medium speed
where your brain wants to wake up each day
because you're so on purpose in your work and your relationships and your hobbies.
So the state of peace is what I want for you.
And peace can only be reached
through a decision that is based on integrity and honesty.
You see where I'm going at this, right?
So in order to be able to have that peace, you have to decide again.
And I am going to share your brain tip with you in just one second,
but I want to tell you a story. It's simple, and it really
it doesn't have to do with much, but
I think it might show what I'm talking about here. Is that OK?
So this happened yesterday.
We're going tiny living this weekend.
My friend has a tiny house, which they're super cool, but honestly,
they're ironically very expensive to rent.
So we're going tiny living in a tiny house village. Very cool.
So all of my kids are supposed to come.
You know, I have five kids and my four older ones are teenagers.
So we planned this like a year ago and comes this weekend.
They all have something going on, so they don't want to go.
And my husband says they're going family trip. They are going.
And I'm like, Let's pump the brakes on this and let's inspect
the belief and the thought system that we're basing this on.
We're basing it on the programing that we received as kids.
If there was a family trip planned, you're going.
It literally doesn't matter
if you're going to be miserable and talk to us the whole time you're going.
So we both grew up in families of six kids, just like our beautiful
six children. So I said, let's just think about this.
You know, my oldest is 18.
My my second is almost 18.
So they're adults and, you know, they can choose not to come.
And actually, my son is so cute.
He texted me, he's like, I don't want dad to be mad at me over my choice.
And, you know, I never asked them if they wanted to come on this trip.
I just signed us up for it. Family trip, kids.
So here's the point is that I and.
Respected our programing from childhood, and I said to the hubs,
I said maybe we should give them choice if they want to come.
And of course, it was a longer discussion than that, but in the end
we allowed them to make their choice.
Once going to homecoming one has this event that's not happening again,
so we allowed them to make a choice.
Anybody looking for a tiny house this weekend
call me because we have an extra one.
But so the point is I had to peel that back and go, You know what?
That's the programing from my parents.
I don't even believe
that I don't want people coming on a trip that don't want to be there.
So all the kids said that we'll go hiking because we planned on
going hiking as a family, which my hubs is really looking forward to.
We made a plan to go hiking around here
in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina closer to us.
And you know what?
Easy peasy, but it wouldn't have been if we didn't inspect the thought system.
So here's your brain tip for the day.
Number four, the brain tip is be willing to question
and inspect and dissect every single belief that you have,
because we know most of our beliefs are programed into us.
Mother, father, preacher, teacher.
Our beliefs were put into us, by our parents, by our religion,
by our community, by our education.
Some of those beliefs might not be serving you anymore,
and I've been inspecting them and dissecting them for about the last
30 years to many people in my lives and my life is dismay.
If you know what I mean, but it's that important.
So I want you to do that today.
So especially when it comes to consuming pornography, peel it back a couple layers.
Why are you watching porn? Is it?
You've just got in this rut in this habit and it's an addiction.
So it might not be easy for you to be able to come out of this without support,
but you can make the decision to commit
and you can make the decision to take different action steps each day.
That's why I have them here in the videos, because when you decide to act again
and to decide again, you choose a new path for yourself.
Literally choosing a new neural pathway that's going to rewire
your brain in the right direction.
That is what I want for you, because the new neural pathway
when you decide out of integrity and honesty gets where it leads you.
It leads you to peace and there is nothing better than peace.
If you haven't had it, I want you to have it.
Once you have it, you will try so hard to keep it forever because it's delicious.
There's literally nothing better than it.
So let's go for that today. OK.
All right. If you need
help on this journey, please reach out to me, DrTrishLeigh.com
I have programs in different shapes and sizes, one that will serve you
so that you can get on purpose and move toward your full potential and start
rocking out the life that you love and the one that you deserve.
OK. Until next time, control your brain.
Or it'll control you.