[splash]
[audience applause]
- Ladies, thank you all for coming out to this year's
Women for Women in Business Conference.
Today is about women supporting women.
Period.
Now let's get excited.
All four: Wooo!!
- I'll start out with my story.
I had an unusual childhood.
My father was a struggling farmer.
My mother was a laid-off factory worker.
I didn't own a single pair of shoes.
[audience laughter]
And one day, the bank up and took our farm.
All four: Aww!
[audience laughter]
- But one morning, I woke up and I said,
"What am I doing?
I am a strong, powerful woman!"
So I got up, I picked myself up, and I paid off my bills,
I got a job, I bought a house, and yes,
I bought a luxury car, why?
[audience laughter]
Because I am a strong woman, and I deserve a white Mercedes!
All four: Wooo!!
- But that's just my boring old life.
Janessa, get up in here and tell your unique story.
Other three: Yay!!
[both breathe in and out]
[audience laughter]
- Can I first just say thank you for that awe-inspiring story?
- No, thank you.
[audience laughter]
- Growing up, I had nothing.
My daddy was an out-of-work chimney sweep.
My mama had an apple cart with one wheel and no apples!
All four: Aww!
- My parents told me, "The bank can take our house,
but no one can take our spirit."
And they did take our house.
[all gasp]
[audience laughter]
But one day I woke up, and I said,
"Hold up!
"What am I doing?
"I am a strong, beautiful, tenacious,
powerful working woman!"
I fought, and I worked, and guess what, ladies?
You step into that parking lot,
you won't see an apple cart with one wheel, mm-mm.
You'll see that mama drove here today
in a brand new white Mercedes!
All four: Wooo!!
- Wow.
Your story rocked me to the core of my womanhood.
[audience laughter]
Thank you.
- No, thank you.
[audience laughter]
- All right, ladies, let's keep it going.
Who's next?
[both breathe in and out]
- Can I first say, that these stories
have broken me and put me back together?
All four: Stop it!
- I refuse to stop!
Ladies, I too suffered hardships.
My father lost his job as an exterminator
to a very clever cat.
All four: No!
- My mama was a tree.
All four: No!
- Then one day that clever cat climbed up my mom,
and the bank had my mama chopped down!
All four: Nooo!!
- But then I stood up!
I said, "What the heck is happening?
"I am strong, passionate, and exquisite!
I am part wood and all woman."
All four: Yes!
- So I picked myself up, I got a job,
called animal control on that job-stealing cat,
and now if you look in that parking lot, you'll see...
a white Mercedes!!
[all screaming]
[all breathe]
[audience laughter]
- Can I just say that these stories
have reminded me that I am a woman!
All four: Stop!
- Daddy had no socks!
All four: What?!
- Mama had no toes!
All four: No!
- Bank robbed the cow!
All four: Whyyy?!
- Realized I'm a--
All four: Womaaaan!!
- So y'all let me know if anyone needs a ride
from a powerful lady in a white Mercedes!!!
[all screaming and yelling]
- Ladies, while some of these women have been telling
their inspiring stories, we have noticed the crowd
has been getting a little raucous.
[audience laughter]
So I just want to say...
keep it up!!
[screaming and yelling continue]
Let's keep this ball rolling!
[both breathe]
- [screams]
[other four scream in response]
All four: No!!
[audience laughter]
- [hyperventilating]
[sound of car locking]
[all scream]
[sound of flames]
- Excuse me!
Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt,
but someone left their lights on in the parking lot?
Car is a white Mercedes?
- [screaming]
[explosion]
[car alarms]
- Who are we?
Jessic and April: Strong, independent women!
- And what are we gonna do?
Jessica and April: Like, share, and subscribe!
- And what are we gonna comment about?
Jessica and April: Our favorite inspiring women!
- And what will we get if we do this?
Jessica and April: A white Mercedes!!
- Actually, no, that would be way too expensive
and quite silly.
But it would be cool, right?
All: Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.