10 Psychologically Proven Flirting Techniques
#10.
“Eye Contact”-- One of the most tried and true flirting techniques that has been
used by both sexes since before humans first walked on two legs is that of eye contact.
There is a saying that goes the eyes are the gateway to the soul and this has actually
been psychologically proven at least when it comes to the flirting game.
There are blatant ways to show that you are interested such as winking or batting your
eyelashes.
However these can be creepy if the person doesn’t already know your personality or
isn’t interested in you.
There are also more subtle ways like discreetly looking at the person you are interested in
and then turning away when they look at you.
If someone does this to you it means they are probably interested, but if you try this
on someone and instead of playing along they give you the cold shoulder it just isn’t
meant to be.
Lastly, there is the ‘all-in’ eye contact method where you gaze longingly into a person’s
eyes and only break eye contact in order to look them up and down.
This one can be quite seductive but if the person is on the fence about you it could
push them away.
If you aren’t careful and stare too long you might send the message that you are a
stalker, not just trying to be flirty.
#9.
“Touching”--Touching someone is one of the easiest ways to ignite a spark in someone
and let them know how you feel without having to memorize poetry.
Of course most of the instances where this type of flirting are acceptable are when you
already know the person or they have established that it is okay.
Touching is not something you should do to a stranger at a bar, especially if you are
a man, unless you want to get pepper-sprayed.
But when it feels right there are a few different types of touching another person that have
been psychologically proven to work.
There is friendly touching which usually applies to someone you are just beginning to know.
This can be in the form of a high-five or handshake, tapping their shoulder or a playful
nudge.
The next step up is reserved for people you already have an established rapport with but
want to show that you want to get to know them more.
In this case you might touch a person on their arm, put your hand on their back for support,
or touch them in a playful manner like tickling.
The last type of touching that has been proven to work is reserved for the big time.
When you already have a feeling they might be mutually interested in you but don’t
know how to break the barrier touching their face will most assuredly signal how you feel.
#8.
“Wear Red”-- The color red has long been associated with romance and this is not a
coincidence as there is something about the powerful nature of the color that evokes passion
in people.
It has been psychologically proven that if you want to be noticed by someone of the opposite
sex that wearing the color red can speed up the process.
Scientists theorize that our attraction to the color red may be attributed to our evolutionary
past as many animals, such as birds, display bright colors in order to attract a mate.
The red is also a color that can be worn almost anyone of any skin tone and it will be flattering
to their natural features.
If you wear a red dress, red socks, or a red tie you are more likely to stand out in a
crowd.
This makes red the most powerful color for flirting in a social gathering like a dance
or formal event.
Because it makes you stand out more, red has the added effect of making whoever wears it
appear more confident because they wear it knowing that people will look at them but
don’t mind.
#7.
“Being Funny”--Humor is always the best icebreaker in any flirtatious scenario, but
figuring out a person’s sense of humor is the difficult part.
Most people want a partner who can make them laugh because laughing instantly makes people
more comfortable in any situation.
Once you find out what a person find funny the easiest way to get them to notice you
or make them interested is by being witty or relating things back to the way they look
at things via being funny.
Psychologists have proven that a person’s sense of humor is one of the key traits that
people judge another person’s attractiveness on when looking for a partner.
This is because having a good sense of humor instinctively signals to another person that
you are creative, can think on your feet and have a sharp intellect.
Be sure that if you are going to attempt to be funny that you don’t overdo it or make
a joke at the person-you-are-trying-to-attract’s expense because it can backfire miserably.
A bad sense of humor or having poor taste is one of the quickest ways to instantly become
unattractive to a person of the opposite sex.
This is why it is key to do a little scouting into the person you like and see what makes
them laugh and what makes them cringe.
#6.
“Playing Hard To Get”-- Playing-hard-to-get is a classic flirting technique that has enticed
yet frustrated people of both sexes for centuries.
This technique can also be linked back to early evolutionary instinct as men and women
both love the thrill of the chase when it comes to relationships.
Not only can this technique make people fawn over you it can make the day when you finally
‘catch’ your beaux even more magical.
Most people have the innate desire to want what they can’t have, so casually leading
someone on, or counteracting playful flirting with moments of feigned disinterest can get
someone’s romantic blood boiling.
This can also backfire if the chase goes on too long because a person can become mentally
exhausted or start doubting their efforts and move on to someone else.
So it is key to break the charade just as their interests are peaking.
You don’t want to be too hard to get but you also don’t want to be too easy as being
too easy can make someone lose interest as they will think that you aren’t something
special that needs to be worked for.
Psychological studies have shown that if a person thinks that they have no chance with
someone they like, that they actually have an increased attraction and higher chance
of falling in love when they find out their romantic feelings are mutual.
#5.
‘Smiling’--Smiling is one of the best flirting techniques but it usually works best
for women as men can sometimes unintentionally seem weak if they smile too much.
For women their smile is one of the most powerful ways that they can convey their interests
in a man.
Usually when a woman smiles a lot or comes off as being happy it is much more attractive
to men than a woman who seems to be joyless or prideful.
A woman’s smile and what she smiles about can give insight into whether or not she has
a caring nature and is able to attack adverse situations in a positive manner.
A smile can also show confidence and display a person’s good health.
If you smile a lot it mean that you are confident in your appearance and usually people who
are healthy and feel good smile more often.
Smiling can also be key to reciprocating the flirtations of someone without being too obvious.
Because of its simple yet effective nature smiling can be easily added onto any of these
other techniques and magnify their efforts.
But be cautious to not smile to forcibly and let them come naturally as forcing a smile
can make a person seem desperate and turn away potential partners.
#4.
‘Brooding”-- Just like smiling is more effective for women, brooding or looking contemplative
can be super effective for men.
A man who looks determined and focused can make women swoon as it displays confidence
and intellect.
There have been several studies done by psychologists that have shown that women prefer men that
have serious demeanors to men that smile often.
This ties into the instinctive desire for women to be with a man that is strong and
thoughtful.
Appearing to be serious or unwavering no matter what situation is at hand can make a man seem
like a bad boy or mysterious.
Women like these types of men because they enjoy being the only one’s in a man’s
life that can gain access to their soft-side.
When a man doesn’t smile often but a women can bring him to smirk in private it makes
the moment more meaningful as she will feel like she is special in her ability to crack
the tough exterior of her man.
Not outwardly projecting one’s emotions can make a person want to get to know you
even more and find out what makes you tic.
It can also make a man appear more wise and confident as being quick to emote is often
seen as immaturity in men.
#3.
“Smooth Talking”- The tone of your voice can have a powerful psychological impact on
a person you are flirting with.
There are numerous studies that have shown that men prefer women who change their tone
and pitch throughout a conversation to that of a woman who speak in monotone.
This is most likely due to the fact that changing the way you talk comes off as more interesting
and melodic whereas a flat voice can be the equivalent of a dial tone and put someone
to sleep.
This can also be related to a man’s desire to find a mother for their children as a melodic
speech pattern comes off as soothing and nurturing.
Studies have shown that women prefer their men to also change their patterns of their
voice but mainly they want a man who exudes confidence and determination in their voice.
Women also tend to prefer men that interject in conversations with words that acknowledge
the fact that they are listening such as ‘okay’, ‘I see; and ‘wow’.
#2.
“Mirroring”- If you are talking to someone that you have romantic interests in and you
find them making similar physical gestures or talking in the same way that you do, their
feelings are probably mutual.
Mirroring is one of the strongest ways that our bodies subconsciously display our feelings
of attachment to someone.
Acting in a similar way to that of another person is a way that humans’ psychologically
either try to fit in or to make another person feel comfortable.
When you mirror someone you are showing empathy and sympathy to whatever their situation is
whether or not it is intentional.
Mirroring can also be a tactic for a person trying to share something with another person,
in an attempt to get close to them.
Studies have shown that over fifty percent of flirting is done via body language and
something as simple as mirroring someone can put them at ease when they are around you
or make them feel like you are a close friend that they can confide in or trust.
Of course this is not a tactic that we recommend going out of your way to try as mirroring
someone obviously could come off as either desperate or just plain creepy.
In the worst case they might even think you are mocking them, so it is best to just use
subtly mirroring tactics like getting on another person’s level when they are sitting, standing
or crouching or holding your arms the same way like if they are crossed or open.
#1.
“Confidence”- Confidence is probably the most important flirting technique as any of
the other techniques that we have listed wouldn’t be as successful without it.
People want confidence in their partners because it makes them feel confident themselves.
If both people in a relationship are confident it will feel like there is nothing that they
can’t accomplish together and that the world is their oyster.
Most people don’t want to be with someone that isn’t confident because usually those
people need a lot more support from their partner or they need to be constantly built
back up just to get through their daily lives.
There are many ways you can display confidence without seeming arrogant.
Posture is extremely important to one’s confidence and both sexes have been found
to be attracted more to people with better posture.
Having good posture shows that you are healthy, balanced and aren’t afraid to hold your
head up high and show the world your face.
Confidence is also extremely evident in a person’s grooming and the way they dress.
Taking time to take care of one’s appearance shows the other person that you are structured
and good at managing your time.
It is also important to show confidence to a prospective mate as your confidence will
make them feel like you are someone that they can lean on when times get tough.
How do you flirt with someone you are interested in?