It never fails.
Every time I publicly mention being a gay Christian, I always hear from at least one
person who says,
“There’s no such thing as a gay Christian!”
Of course there is.
Hello?
I’m right here.
Do—do they not see me?
But I think I see where we’re getting confused—so let’s clarify something.
When I say someone is “gay,” I mean that person is attracted to the same sex and not
attracted to the opposite sex.
That’s my definition.
It’s the opposite of “straight”—someone who’s attracted to the opposite sex and
not attracted to the same sex.
Bisexuals are attracted to both.
Now, with that definition in mind, the reality is that every day, in every major Christian
denomination, people who have grown up in the church, who love God and love the Bible,
discover that they are gay.
Some of them have grown up in churches and families that taught them that’s okay, that
they can accept themselves as gay Christians.
Others grow up like I did, having been taught that being gay is incompatible with Christianity,
and they may wrestle for many years, not wanting to admit that they’re gay, trying to become
straight, hating themselves for what they feel.
But they’re still gay, even though, to them, it may seem more like a burden than a blessing.
And for what it’s worth, I also know gay people who grew up in nonreligious homes but
found themselves so drawn to Jesus that they became Christians in spite of all the people
who said they couldn’t be both.
So yeah, there are a lot of gay Christians.
And not just wishy-washy Christians either.
Some of the most devout, Bible-believing Christians I know are gay.
Or bi.
Or trans.
Statistically, there are literally millions of us.
Maybe when you say that you can’t be gay and Christian, what you really mean is that
you think Christianity says gay people shouldn’t have gay sex or gay relationships, that we
should all commit ourselves to lifelong celibacy—and that people who don’t do that aren’t following
the teachings of the Bible.
I’ll address that in other videos.
But for now, it’s important to point out that even if we were all celibate, we’re
still gay.
And I think that’s the crux of the issue: People sometimes get confused about what “gay”
means and think that being gay is some kind of “lifestyle” or “chosen social identity.”
Even gay people sometimes make this mistake.
There’s a scene in the movie "Love, Simon," where Simon, having admitted that he’s gay,
starts Googling “How to dress like a gay man,” thinking he has to fit some particular
stereotype.
But Simon knows he’s gay because he’s attracted to guys and not girls.
That’s what makes him gay, no matter how he walks or talks or dresses, and no matter
who, or if, he dates.
There is no one way of being gay.
Despite the cultural stereotypes, we’re not all on the same apps or at the same clubs.
Even though we might talk about the “gay community” or the “LGBT+ community,”
we’re not even really a single community.
We’re all different—and if you happen to be gay, you still get to choose how you
want to live and who you want to be.
Yeah, there are gay people whose lives revolve around sex and parties,
but there are also buttoned-down gay folks in the suburbs raising kids and attending
PTA meetings,
and gay people who commit themselves to lifelong celibacy for religious or other reasons.
They’re all still gay.
And it’s vital for us to be able to acknowledge that we’re gay.
Because when I was growing up in the church, I didn’t think there were any gay Christians.
And I was as devout a Christian as you can be.
I accepted Christ at a young age, reaffirmed that commitment as a teenager, and was passionate
about living my life to please God.
I got the nickname God Boy in high school, in part because of the way I was always trying
to witness to my friends.
My whole world revolved around my Christian faith.
So when puberty kicked in and I started to notice guys instead of girls, it didn’t
even cross my mind that I could be gay, because I was a Christian.
But no matter how long I ignored the truth and kept calling myself straight, I couldn’t
make myself become attracted to women.
And with all my prayers and faith that God would change my attractions, it never happened.
So when the truth was so overwhelmingly obvious that I couldn’t deny it to myself anymore,
I went through the most awful depression because I thought I was all alone.
I thought my only choices were to abandon the faith I held dear or spend the rest of
my life lying.
If you’ve never been through that, you can’t imagine how isolating that is.
As an adult, there are plenty of reasons it’s important to me for people to know that I’m
gay—and a Christian.
But none is more important than this:
Every day, there are gay and bi and trans Christians around the world who are coming
out to themselves for the first time.
They need to know they’re not alone.
They need to have mentors and role models, to know that others have gone before them
and are leading happy lives.
If you want to have conversation about how gay Christians should live—about sexual
morality and same-sex marriage and what the Bible has to say about it all—great.
Let’s have that conversation.
If you’re not a fan of Christianity—you think it’s a backwards religion and that
the world would be better off without it—we can have that conversation too.
But let’s begin with this:
There are gay Christians in the world.
Their faith is important to them.
They did not choose to be gay.
And they need, as all of us do, the support of their friends and families and churches.
And if you are one of them, know this: You are not alone.
There are gay Christians like you—and gay Christians who are very different from you—all
over the world.
And although some churches have been slower than they should have been to recognize this
and know how to support us,
times are changing and the support available to you is growing every day.
If you’d like a deeper dive into this subject, check out my book, "Torn: Rescuing the Gospel
from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate."
In it, I talk about the Bible, the science, the personal stories,
and even the truth about those so-called “ex-gay” testimonies you might have heard.
And hey, if you will, please subscribe to my YouTube channel; that would help me out
a lot.
And if you’re looking for resources, check out my website at GeekyJustin.com.
There are plenty of resources there, and if you can’t find what you’re looking for,
shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to help.
There’s lots more on the way, so stay tuned: Same geeky time, same geeky channel.