I AM PAGET BREWSTER
AND TODAY WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE KELLOGG BROTHERS.
IN 1876, DR. JOHN KELLOGG
CREATED A SANITARIUM
IN BATTLE CREEK, MICHIGAN.
EXCEPT HE WAS AN ORATOR
IN THE SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH.
HE TELLS HIS PATIENTS
NO SEX, NO MEAT, NO ALCOHOL,
NO SUGAR, NO, UH, ANYTHING, UH, PRURIENT
OR SENSUAL.
[bleep]!
AREN'T YOU GUYS TIRED?
PSSHT!
- WELL, CAN I-- - SHH!
- ALL RIGHT.
- HE TELLS HIS PATIENTS, YOU NEED TO TAKE
AT LEAST TWO SOLID, ROPE-Y POOPS
PER DAY.
IN 1880,
DR. JOHN REACHES OUT TO HIS YOUNGER BROTHER, WILL,
WHO HE BEAT UP THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS GROWING UP,
AND HE SAYS, HEY, UM,
LEAVE THAT BROOM COMPANY.
I'VE GOT THIS, YOU KNOW, SANITARIUM, SPA THING.
THERE'S OVER 1,000 PEOPLE A WEEK
HERE, HANGING OUT...
SWIMMING AND DOING STUFF.
YOU SHOULD COME AND JUST, YOU KNOW,
HELP ME OUT WITH EVERYTHING.
AND WILL SAYS, OKAY, I GOTTA GET THE [bleep] OUT OF HERE.
WILL IS JUST SORT OF THIS SAD LITTLE WHIPPING BOY
FOR BIG, FAMOUS BROTHER JOHN.
HE ACTUALLY SAID,
"I USE MY BROTHER AS A FOOT WARMER IN THE WINTER."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
LIKE, HE BEAT HIM UP AND HE STUCK HIS FEET UNDER HIM?
SO ANYWAY, HE HAS TO SHAVE HIM.
HE ACTUALLY HAS TO CALL HIS OWN BROTHER
"DR. KELLOGG"...
AND HAS TO RUN THE KITCHEN
AND HAS TO RUN THE BOOKS.
SO DR. JOHN TELLS HIS YOUNGER BROTHER WILL,
HEY, MAKE SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO EAT
BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS VEGETARIAN FOOD.
SO YOU DO THIS, 'CAUSE I'M BUSY.
I GOTTA, YOU KNOW, DO LECTURES AND STUFF.
SO WILL,
WHOSE BOOKKEEP-- BOOKKEEPING "OPPICE"--OFFICE
IS NEXT TO THE KITCHEN--
ONE NIGHT, HE'S TRYING TO MAKE
THIS STUPID VEGETARIAN [bleep].
HE LEAVES THE DOUGH OUT.
HE COMES IN THE NEXT MORNING,
AND THE DOUGH THAT HE LEFT OUT HAS MOLDED.
AND HE'S LIKE, OH, GOD DAMN IT,
THIS [bleep] IS MOLDY.
[bleep]. I'M ON A BUDGET.
AND HE PUTS IT THROUGH THE GRINDER ANYWAY,
AND THE SMALL AMOUNT OF MOLD MADE THAT DOUGH FLAKES.
CORN FLAKES!
AND HE'S LIKE, HOL-- OH, [bleep]
OH, WE MADE-- I MADE A CEREAL.
SO HE TELLS JOHN, JOHN COMES DOWN.
OH, YOU KNOW.
AND THEN THEY START PRODUCING THIS CEREAL,
CORN FLAKES.
LIKE, CORN FLAKES THAT WE ALL KNOW--
THAT WILL DISCOVERED. WITH MOLD.
ONE WEEK, C.W. POST, THIS INDUSTRIALIST, IS VISITING,
AND JOHN SAYS,
OH, YOU SHOULD SEE THE CORN FLAKES WE'RE MAKING.
WE'RE MAKING OUR OWN CEREAL.
AND WILL IS SAYING,
OH, NO, DON'T.
I MADE--I MADE THAT.
DON'T...YOU SAY--
AND...
[choir sings a dramatic chord]
OH, OH.
I'M NOT TALKING RIGHT ALTOGETHER,
BUT CLOSE ENOUGH.
C.W. POST STEALS IT, SELLS IT,
MAKES A
SO WILL'S LIKE, [bleep] YOU, MAN.
YOU [bleep]ED ME! YOU [bleep]ED US!
IF WE ADD SUGAR, WE CAN SELL THIS CEREAL.
AND JOHN SAYS, YOU CAN'T PUT SUGAR ON IT.
THAT'S NOT SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WILL SAYS, OH, YOU KNOW--
YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM?
I THINK I'M THE GUY WHO INVENTED [bleep]ING CORN FLAKES.
I'M GONNA PUT SUGAR ON 'EM AND SELL 'EM.
AND [bleep] YOU.
SO HE TAKES HIS CEREAL AND HE SETS UP
THE KELLOGG TOASTED FLAKES COMPANY.
WILL MAKES IT A MILLION-DOLLAR ENTERPRISE.
AND HE'S LIKE, I'M PUTTING SUGAR ON MY [bleep].
[bleep] YOU.
- THE YOUNGER BROTHER, NOW, FINALLY COMES OUT
OF HIS OLDER BROTHER'S SHADOW
AND BECOMES A HUGE AMERICAN INDUSTRIALIST.
THE BROTHERS SUE EACH OTHER BACK AND FORTH
FOR TEN YEARS.
I WANT THE NAME OF KELLOGG'S.
NO, I DESERVE IT, I MADE THE--
WHATEVER.
SO WILL, THIS YOUNGER BROTHER,
WINS THE NAME IN FEDERAL COURT.
I'M GONNA BURP.
- IT'S OKAY.
- I HOPE IT'S JUST A BURP.
WILL IS A HUGE INDUSTRIALIST IN THE UNITED STATES.
HE INVENTS A BUNCH OF CEREALS.
MEANWHILE, JOHN LOSES ALL CREDIBILITY.
IN 1943,
JOHN IS ON HIS DEATHBED.
HE WRITES TO HIS YOUNGER BROTHER,
HAVING NOT SPOKEN FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS,
AND HE GAVE IT TO HIS SOCIAL SECRETARY
OR WHATEVER-- HE HAD NO FAMILY.
HIS ONLY FAMILY WAS WILL.
SHE NEVER SENT IT.
BUT WILL, EIGHT YEARS LATER--
ALSO DYING, BLIND--
WAS TOLD, ON HIS DEATHBED,
YOUR BROTHER WROTE A LETTER
EIGHT YEARS AGO SAYING, "I'M SORRY.
"I SCREWED UP. I APOLOGIZE.
"I TREATED YOU AS A LESSER MAN
WHEN IN FACT, I WAS THE LESSER MAN."
ESSENTIALLY, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
I READ IT, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER ENTIRELY.
BUT THAT'S ESSENTIALLY WHAT HE SAID.
SORRY.
WILL SAT UP ON HIS DEATHBED AND SAID, GOOD GOD!
WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE NOW?
AND HE DIED!
THAT'S JUST AWFUL. THAT'S THE [bleep]ING WORST.
[munching]
UM, YEAH, BUT--RIGHT?
- YEAH. - LIKE, WILL WAS RIGHT.
YOU WANT TO PUT SOME SUGAR ON 'EM.
- YEAH. IT IS LACKING SUGAR.
- OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST MOLD.
- YEAH. - MOLD FLAKES.