One of the one of the first nights I'm actually videoing it.
I slept in a cupboard to escape forced marriage
Just cleaning, setting up the room now.
I have to be very quiet, because in 10 minutes, the library closes and security do the check.
So I just need to make sure that I hear.
So my older two brothers who were 16 and 18 at the time, once they got married, especially
at that age, I knew that I was next because I was the third oldest.
And I also saw that, that was when the freedom was completely gone, where we - the penny
dropped that this isn't our lives, we have to do as we're told, and the wives that they
were married to, they were forced to marry, there was no love there or anything.
So from there, I realised why not actually try and attempt to live and get a better life.
So what I did was behind my parents back, I dropped out of university because I was
still in my first term within my hometown, the university that was going to, and then
I applied for university further up north.
And I was just saving money whilst also pretending that I was at university.
So then, two months before leaving, I just slept at work in a storeroom cupboard, and then
drove off to university to live my life there.
Sa'ad no longer speaks to his family.
He's financially independent and a lot happier.
But he struggled to find support at the time even though men make up a fifth of forced marriage victims in the UK.
They seem to have - they were more surprised that I was a man on the phone at first.
And then when I asked for help or support, it didn't seem like there was any, even when
I asked for hostel, they said there wasn't any my area.
And there's not many male hostels to go to.
So I did feel very alienated.
So if I was at home during lockdown, the first lockdown with my family, I definitely think
I would have tried to attempt suicide in terms of actually dying, because there didn't seem
to be a way out.
And that's what made me want to speak up more about this because I know other people aren't
as privileged as I am, where I've actually managed to get out and make a life for myself,
where some people still stuck and scared.
Who is that one person you think about every single day?
This TikTok was seen over 1.6 million times.
So for me, the answer isn't romantic, I don't wake up thinking of my girlfriend,
though I love her to pieces.
For me, it's waking up thinking of my brothers and sisters.
And I was raised in a South Asian Muslim household.
And I was meant to get an arranged marriage, and I refused.
And so I was kicked out of home.
And I've never seen my brothers and sisters in the last four years.
And I know there's many people that are going through what I'm going through, and I want
them to know that things do get better, things get so much better.
You find your way on this earth, and you're going to meet people and they're not going
to be blood related.
But they're going to be something so much more because they actually want to be there
for you.
And that is the true beauty of life is to go where you're celebrated.
Okay, not where you're tolerated.
And to my brother and sisters, if they're watching this, I love you all and I miss you
all and inshallah one day we will see each other.
My hope is that they did see it.
My original intention wasn't for them to see, I didn't think they would but now that I know
reached that wide of an audience.
I'm hoping they see and they see that I've come out well, I've come out fine.
And I'm still I'm still brown, I'm still the way I am when I left home.
I'm still a Muslim.
And I think that's one thing that a lot of people are worried about, is that I'm going
to throw away my culture, my religion, but I'm still a practising Muslim.
And I love my culture, and I'm hoping they see that and see that you can still be yourself
whilst also having your own freedom and decisions.
And if they ever need me that they know where they can find me
If you are feeling emotionally distressed, support is available internationally at https://www.befrienders.org and in the UK at bbc.co.uk/actionline