(Crowd clapping and cheering)
We're back.
As I,
as I mentioned earlier,
and if you're just tuning in
Kumail Nanjiani not able to make it tonight
through apparently no fault of his own.
Kumail Nanjiani.
(Crowd laughing)
(Crowd clapping)
She was like a recovering stroke victim.
Listen.
Good job.
That's a trademarked Richter zinger character.
Yeah.
So our only guest tonight
has been my assistant for almost 10 years.
We've been through a lot together
and she always tells it like it is.
Please welcome ladies and gentlemen, Miss. Sona.
(Crowd clapping an cheering)
Now, Sona.
We didn't even explain
I think Jeff Ross, our producer just said get into makeup.
Yes.
And you didn't know why.
No one told me anything.
Right.
But that's kind of like how my job is just regularly.
Right.
No one tells me anything.
No one tells you anything.
And so you do as you are told,
so we told you to get into makeup and then you did.
And then at what point did you realize you were going to be
the guest on the show tonight and not Kumail Nanjiani?
I think right when I was walking in,
like you guys called my name and I was like,
Oh shit they really ran out of stuff to do.
Have an applause?
Just relax.
You look fantastic.
What are you doing?
My hair is so crunchy.
What?
No. No.
Okay, that's better.
It's fine.
It's cool.
Let's tell people a little bit about you.
You've been working with me for almost a decade.
For over a decade.
Okay.
No, that's how long it's been.
I said working.
(Laughing)
She goofs off a lot.
I do, I do.
Do you have any weed?
I'm just kidding.
You're actually not kidding.
We had a lot of misadventures together you know,
Yeah.
How would you say it is working for me?
And you can be honest.
We have a fun chemistry.
Don't look at me.
Is it
Would you say fun or would you say dysfunctional?
Dysfunctional.
Well working for you, first of all,
I mean I've been working for, for over 10 years.
So obviously I like it,
but there are times when I wanna like poison your food,
or, or I wanna
I really think about ways to kill you slowly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm kind of a crazy person.
I think we can say.
Yes you're kinda crazy.
Hey, hey, hey.
What you, what are you doing characters for all the sudden.
(Laughing)
What kind of character was that?
Prepare all kinds of bit.
Okay, yeah.
Let's, let's take it easy on those.
Presume.
You are looking for a house right now.
I thought that we could use television tech at your house.
Cause you and your husband
have been looking for about a while now.
Can I put you on the spot.
Can you buy me a house?
(Singing)
(Laughing)
The answer is yes.
I can buy you a house.
You've been very generous to me over the years.
(Dog barking)
This is honestly true.
We just were sent a clip from Kumail
and they think that they have in the booth.
Can they put this up?
So here we go.
Hey, Conan's.
Sorry Kimo couldn't make it tonight.
It's my fault.
I don't know my lines.
He doesn't know his lines.
At least he said sorry.
He said he was sorry.
Yeah, It seems to have broken up without her.
All alright I love you Sona.
You're a great friend.
You're a great assistant.
Son of obsessing and everybody we'll be right back.